My 7 year old son has joined the blog craze.
Stop on over and visit his blog and say HI!
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Loving Your Brother
When I was pregnant with my second son, visions of two brothers deeply in love with each other danced in my head. When I shared my hopes and dreams, people scoffed! I was really taken aback by many reactions, "That'll never happen!" "Siblings are supposed to hate each other!" "Dream on!"
I will be the first to admit a Pollyannaesque worldview. If the glass isn't half-full, then let's do something about that, eh? I also have a bit of a rebellious spirit. If someone tells me something cannot be done, I'm going to try that much harder to ensure that it will.
My boys have not been AS in love with each other as I hoped. But then if they were born mature, what would they need parents for? (And if I didn't have children, would I be forced into maturity as quickly as I ought to be?)
Our 3 sons do cherish each other deeply. They truly are best friends. Sometimes while we are out shopping, I notice them holding hands (but I NEVER point it out, for then they might stop -- if anyone teases them about this you will forever be on my blacklist). They make each other cards or homemade board games when they are sick. They often bring each other snacks or glasses of water when they stop to get something for themselves. More often than not, after tucking them each into their own beds, we will peek in on them to find all three of them snuggled together under one blanket.
I feel that home schooling has been another surprise answer to prayer. Close family relationships were the desire of my heart -- I had no idea that home schooling would be one of the vehicles God would use to grant us this desire. The boys spending more time together during the day, and being on the same family team -- not running off on their own individual tangents all the time --has produced amazing friendships. I feel blessed that God "talked us into" home schooling and then astonished us with so many extra benefits!
God has been kind enough to their dad and me to give us a foretaste of this desire of our hearts. So far, it seems that the Lord has clued us in when the friendships start slipping -- which inevitably happens every once in a while. We had one little neighbor boy who used to spend a lot of time in our house, and he really was quite destructive to the brothers' relationship. We prayed about what to do, and God asked me to play with the group of boys when the neighbor boy was over (which they actually seemed to enjoy, not to mention I had a bit of fun myself!) and this helped much. Not long after that, the little boy moved away, and I breathed a sigh of relief.
The last few weeks have shown a bit more bickering and jealousy in the house. I have been so busy with Christmas and reading other people's blogs that I have chosen to turn a blind eye to much of it. A lot more derogatory words have been exchanged from the olders to the youngers. And as for our youngest, we haven't held as high standards for him as we should have. He is the one to show favoritism and try to play one older brother against the other. His brothers have been too kind to him, letting him be the Prince of the House.
I just read a cute post on Making Your Kids Love Each Other. Such good ideas!
How thankful I am that God's mercies are new every morning. I am inspired to wake up tomorrow morning and help my littles love on each other more and more. I am inspired to get myself back on the family team and not be off doing my own thing for much of the day.
Back to loving God, and loving others -- this is where I want to go. And everything else will fall into place...
Lord God, will you guide Ron and I in helping our children love each other? Do not let us tolerate ugly words amongst them. Help us to teach them biblical ways of dealing with conflict, and biblical ways of loving the unloveable. Help us to love them and enjoy them while we discipline and disciple them. Thank you that You are such an enjoyable God! May we learn to feast on You and share You with the little ones you have loaned to us. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
I will be the first to admit a Pollyannaesque worldview. If the glass isn't half-full, then let's do something about that, eh? I also have a bit of a rebellious spirit. If someone tells me something cannot be done, I'm going to try that much harder to ensure that it will.
My boys have not been AS in love with each other as I hoped. But then if they were born mature, what would they need parents for? (And if I didn't have children, would I be forced into maturity as quickly as I ought to be?)
Our 3 sons do cherish each other deeply. They truly are best friends. Sometimes while we are out shopping, I notice them holding hands (but I NEVER point it out, for then they might stop -- if anyone teases them about this you will forever be on my blacklist). They make each other cards or homemade board games when they are sick. They often bring each other snacks or glasses of water when they stop to get something for themselves. More often than not, after tucking them each into their own beds, we will peek in on them to find all three of them snuggled together under one blanket.
I feel that home schooling has been another surprise answer to prayer. Close family relationships were the desire of my heart -- I had no idea that home schooling would be one of the vehicles God would use to grant us this desire. The boys spending more time together during the day, and being on the same family team -- not running off on their own individual tangents all the time --has produced amazing friendships. I feel blessed that God "talked us into" home schooling and then astonished us with so many extra benefits!
God has been kind enough to their dad and me to give us a foretaste of this desire of our hearts. So far, it seems that the Lord has clued us in when the friendships start slipping -- which inevitably happens every once in a while. We had one little neighbor boy who used to spend a lot of time in our house, and he really was quite destructive to the brothers' relationship. We prayed about what to do, and God asked me to play with the group of boys when the neighbor boy was over (which they actually seemed to enjoy, not to mention I had a bit of fun myself!) and this helped much. Not long after that, the little boy moved away, and I breathed a sigh of relief.
The last few weeks have shown a bit more bickering and jealousy in the house. I have been so busy with Christmas and reading other people's blogs that I have chosen to turn a blind eye to much of it. A lot more derogatory words have been exchanged from the olders to the youngers. And as for our youngest, we haven't held as high standards for him as we should have. He is the one to show favoritism and try to play one older brother against the other. His brothers have been too kind to him, letting him be the Prince of the House.
I just read a cute post on Making Your Kids Love Each Other. Such good ideas!
How thankful I am that God's mercies are new every morning. I am inspired to wake up tomorrow morning and help my littles love on each other more and more. I am inspired to get myself back on the family team and not be off doing my own thing for much of the day.
Back to loving God, and loving others -- this is where I want to go. And everything else will fall into place...
Lord God, will you guide Ron and I in helping our children love each other? Do not let us tolerate ugly words amongst them. Help us to teach them biblical ways of dealing with conflict, and biblical ways of loving the unloveable. Help us to love them and enjoy them while we discipline and disciple them. Thank you that You are such an enjoyable God! May we learn to feast on You and share You with the little ones you have loaned to us. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
A Family Tradition
Our little boys were pleasured to spend 2 evenings out of town this Christmas Vacation at their Nana's home. Unfortunately, our eldest son, Christian, came down with a cold while visiting. Nana remarked to him, "I can tell you are getting sick because you have dark circles under your eyes."
He replied, "Oh, no. In my house, those are a family tradition."
Out of the mouth of babes :)
He replied, "Oh, no. In my house, those are a family tradition."
Out of the mouth of babes :)
Sunday, December 25, 2005
Which Theologian Are You?
You scored as Anselm. Anselm is the outstanding theologian of the medieval period.He sees man's primary problem as having failed to render unto God what we owe him, so God becomes man in Christ and gives God what he is due. You should read 'Cur Deus Homo?'
Anselm | 100% | ||
John Calvin | 87% | ||
Karl Barth | 87% | ||
Friedrich Schleiermacher | 80% | ||
J?Moltmann | 80% | ||
Jonathan Edwards | 73% | ||
Martin Luther | 67% | ||
Paul Tillich | 33% | ||
Charles Finney | 27% | ||
Augustine | 20% |
Which theologian are you?
created with QuizFarm.com
Pretty neat quiz. I needed clarification on a few of the questions, so I'm not certain I answered according to the depths of my soul. Try it! Which theologian are YOU?
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
That's My Boy
The Lord saw fit to bless our home with three children of the masculine persuasion.
By our third son, I sat up and took notice that I had more than a few things to learn. Growing up with only one sister left me with not much knowledge of these man-types. Don't get me wrong, I've always been crazy about males, but only if they were wrapped around my little finger. And truth be told, for years I held the secret (or not-so-secret at times) belief that women and girls were, uh, better than men and boys. Yep, its true. Thought we were smarter, and thought we were better because of our knack of multi-tasking, having more apparent depth of emotion, and not struggling as much as men with sexual sins.
Funny how circumstances often bring us to paradigm-shifts. The more I researched boys -- the way they learn, the way they play, the way they interact, the way they fight, they way they learn to follow (or don't learn to follow) God -- the more I fell in love with the way they are. I like to think that I have graduated to the higher status in life of Boy Advocate.
Boys are GREAT! Men are GREAT!
And boys are Future Men.
It is amazing to me that God had the idea of making men and women so different from one another, and now I am mature enough to thank Him for this (instead of asking him why men weren't more like women).
What a joy it is to have sons. Boys are simple and forthright. Boys hardly ever hold grudges. If they are mad at a brother or friend -- even if the disagreement escalates to a physical scuffle, once the fight is done, its done. We don't have to try to hard to psycho-analyze a boy -- he puts it all right out there for us. Being competitve is not a sin, and it is possible to teach a boy how to win and lose gracefully. Boys learn by seeing that they can use their knowledge to make a difference in the world -- receiving little "good job" smiley-face stickers doesn't cut it for motivating boys. They need to feel the strength and profundity of acquired knowledge. Boys grow up to be fathers, the single most important person in each of our childhoods (whether your father was present or absent, godly or unkind, his importance is not diminished -- though the blessings may have been). Boys grow up to be leaders -- of their families, churches, businesses, and societies. A focused man (one that isn't good at multi-tasking, remember?) has the strength and fortitude to make a huge dent in our society. Imagine that focused man "seeking first the Kingdom of God." What a difference he can make, and what an adventure he can enjoy while doing it!
And boys and mothers, oh my. I don't think I will ever tire of having several males who pick flowers for me and play with my hair and tell me I'm beautiful. This love and affection alone makes any pee on the toilet seat worth it.
I am in Boy Heaven.
Some great books on boys:
Future Men by Douglas Wilson
Raising A Modern-Day Knight
King Me by Steve Farrar
Bringing Up Boys by James Dobson
Some good books about and/or for men:
The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Laura
Created to Be His Help-Meet by Debi Pearl
Reforming Marriage by Douglas Wilson
Wild at Heart by John Eldredge
Family Man, Family Leader by Phillip Lancaster
A Father's Stew by Stephen Beck
Point Man by Steve Farrar
No More Christian Nice Guy by Paul Coughlin (highly recommended by a friend, we haven't read this yet)
By our third son, I sat up and took notice that I had more than a few things to learn. Growing up with only one sister left me with not much knowledge of these man-types. Don't get me wrong, I've always been crazy about males, but only if they were wrapped around my little finger. And truth be told, for years I held the secret (or not-so-secret at times) belief that women and girls were, uh, better than men and boys. Yep, its true. Thought we were smarter, and thought we were better because of our knack of multi-tasking, having more apparent depth of emotion, and not struggling as much as men with sexual sins.
Funny how circumstances often bring us to paradigm-shifts. The more I researched boys -- the way they learn, the way they play, the way they interact, the way they fight, they way they learn to follow (or don't learn to follow) God -- the more I fell in love with the way they are. I like to think that I have graduated to the higher status in life of Boy Advocate.
Boys are GREAT! Men are GREAT!
And boys are Future Men.
It is amazing to me that God had the idea of making men and women so different from one another, and now I am mature enough to thank Him for this (instead of asking him why men weren't more like women).
What a joy it is to have sons. Boys are simple and forthright. Boys hardly ever hold grudges. If they are mad at a brother or friend -- even if the disagreement escalates to a physical scuffle, once the fight is done, its done. We don't have to try to hard to psycho-analyze a boy -- he puts it all right out there for us. Being competitve is not a sin, and it is possible to teach a boy how to win and lose gracefully. Boys learn by seeing that they can use their knowledge to make a difference in the world -- receiving little "good job" smiley-face stickers doesn't cut it for motivating boys. They need to feel the strength and profundity of acquired knowledge. Boys grow up to be fathers, the single most important person in each of our childhoods (whether your father was present or absent, godly or unkind, his importance is not diminished -- though the blessings may have been). Boys grow up to be leaders -- of their families, churches, businesses, and societies. A focused man (one that isn't good at multi-tasking, remember?) has the strength and fortitude to make a huge dent in our society. Imagine that focused man "seeking first the Kingdom of God." What a difference he can make, and what an adventure he can enjoy while doing it!
And boys and mothers, oh my. I don't think I will ever tire of having several males who pick flowers for me and play with my hair and tell me I'm beautiful. This love and affection alone makes any pee on the toilet seat worth it.
I am in Boy Heaven.
Some great books on boys:
Future Men by Douglas Wilson
Raising A Modern-Day Knight
King Me by Steve Farrar
Bringing Up Boys by James Dobson
Some good books about and/or for men:
The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Laura
Created to Be His Help-Meet by Debi Pearl
Reforming Marriage by Douglas Wilson
Wild at Heart by John Eldredge
Family Man, Family Leader by Phillip Lancaster
A Father's Stew by Stephen Beck
Point Man by Steve Farrar
No More Christian Nice Guy by Paul Coughlin (highly recommended by a friend, we haven't read this yet)
Are We Crunchy Cons?
As soon as it could be official, my political party of choice has been "Decline to State."
Actually, that's not true. At 18, I signed up to be an American Independent, until my dad informed me this was an actual political party with whose ideals I may not confer (I thought I was checking the "Independent" box to let people know I was free to be me - LOL).
Well, I just may have found a new box to check!
Hmmm.
I'm not Republican. I'm not a Democrat.
Maybe I'm a Crunchy Con.
I came across the Pilgrim Not Wanderer blog late last night in a fit of insomnia. He had an interesting post about a book coming out next year entitled:
Crunchy Cons: How Birkenstocked Burkeans, gun-loving organic gardeners, evangelical free-range farmers, hip homeschooling mamas, right-wing nature lovers, and their diverse tribe of countercultural conservatives plan to save America (or at least the Republican Party).
From Pilgrim's blog:
A Crunchy Con Manifesto
1. We are conservatives who stand outside the conservative mainstream; therefore, we can see things that matter more clearly.
2. Modern conservatism has become too focused on money, power, and the accumulation of stuff, and insufficiently concerned with the content of our individual and social character.
3. Big business deserves as much skepticism as big government.
4. Culture is more important than politics and economics.
5. A conservatism that does not practice restraint, humility, and good stewardship - especially of the natural world - is not fundamentally conservative.
6. Small, Local, Old, and Particular are almost always better than Big, Global, New, and Abstract.
7. Beauty is more important than efficiency.
8. The relentlessness of media-driven pop culture deadens our senses to authentic truth, beauty, and wisdom.
9. We share Russell Kirk's conviction that 'the institution most essential to conserve is the family.'
Pilgrim wasn't sure if the book fits him -- but it looks quite promising for us.
I can't wait to get my hands on it and find out.
Even the front cover photo of the hippie-mobile VW Van decked out with an elephant decal strikes something inside me.
The book doesn't come out until next February... I'll let ya know what I think as soon as I can read it!
Actually, that's not true. At 18, I signed up to be an American Independent, until my dad informed me this was an actual political party with whose ideals I may not confer (I thought I was checking the "Independent" box to let people know I was free to be me - LOL).
Well, I just may have found a new box to check!
Hmmm.
I'm not Republican. I'm not a Democrat.
Maybe I'm a Crunchy Con.
I came across the Pilgrim Not Wanderer blog late last night in a fit of insomnia. He had an interesting post about a book coming out next year entitled:
Crunchy Cons: How Birkenstocked Burkeans, gun-loving organic gardeners, evangelical free-range farmers, hip homeschooling mamas, right-wing nature lovers, and their diverse tribe of countercultural conservatives plan to save America (or at least the Republican Party).
From Pilgrim's blog:
A Crunchy Con Manifesto
1. We are conservatives who stand outside the conservative mainstream; therefore, we can see things that matter more clearly.
2. Modern conservatism has become too focused on money, power, and the accumulation of stuff, and insufficiently concerned with the content of our individual and social character.
3. Big business deserves as much skepticism as big government.
4. Culture is more important than politics and economics.
5. A conservatism that does not practice restraint, humility, and good stewardship - especially of the natural world - is not fundamentally conservative.
6. Small, Local, Old, and Particular are almost always better than Big, Global, New, and Abstract.
7. Beauty is more important than efficiency.
8. The relentlessness of media-driven pop culture deadens our senses to authentic truth, beauty, and wisdom.
9. We share Russell Kirk's conviction that 'the institution most essential to conserve is the family.'
Pilgrim wasn't sure if the book fits him -- but it looks quite promising for us.
I can't wait to get my hands on it and find out.
Even the front cover photo of the hippie-mobile VW Van decked out with an elephant decal strikes something inside me.
The book doesn't come out until next February... I'll let ya know what I think as soon as I can read it!
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Quality Blogs to Check Out
The Old Schoolhouse is accepting votes for Blog Awards. I went there to vote for my very favorite inspirational blog -- Holy Experience -- and ended up discovering on several other neat blogs. Thought I'd spread the good cheer, inspiration, and deep thoughts! I definitely don't have the time to be reading these all by myself. In fact, I put the kids in front of a very short movie -- Max Lucado's The Crippled Lamb, and was supposed to be washing my hair! Well, I may still have dirty hair when the movie ends, but I'll be in a really good mood :)
Oh, and one of the dad's blogs had a link to The Chronicles of Narnia Rap -- one that I am embarrassed to admit I was awake for and watching last Saturday Night Live!
Sunday, December 18, 2005
Postmodernism and Os Guinness
I have spent a bit of time this weekend researching Postmodernism and The Emerging Church . Cleaning out our "office" closet tonight, I came across an article I had printed out months ago that held fresh meaning for me tonight. Calling, Postmodernism, and Chastened Liberals is a Mars Hill interview with Os Guinness.
A few excerpts for your consideration:
MHR: What has silenced the church? What keeps us from responding to this opportunity?
OG: There are a great number of factors. Many conservatives have lost their genuine passion to reach outside of themselves. They're now immersed in a political-cultural warring mode, which attacks people rather than tries to win them.
I also think the American church has an underlying insecurity. The larger culture is disintegrating-and yet, rather than having an incredible confidence in the truth of the gospel in a time of cultural disintegration, Christians sense that it's all over for the church and the gospel.
There are many other reasons we're not responding to this incredible opportunity we have evangelistically and aplogetically. But, in any case, we're not exploiting it.
---
MHR: You mentioned that some of the grand philosophies are failing, such as postmodernism. Would you say the gospel has relevance only outside of postmodernism, or could it have relevance within as well?
OG: I think the gospel has relevance both outside and inside. Both modernism and postmodernism give tremendous opportunity to the gospel, and both provide deadly challenges to the gospel as well.
Modernism, to its credit, had a very strong sense of truth, and a strong sense of the importance of truth and reason. Modernists may have thought the Christian faith was untrue or simply a bad faith, but at least they would discuss it.
Postmodernism is more welcoming. The postmodern attitude is, "You come from where you come from," so that more positions are level on the playing field. Yet, this perspective is built on a radical relativism that, at the end of the day, destroys everything.
I think a good apologetic based on scripture should be flexible enough and creative enough to survive and thrive in any situation. I don't agree with those who see postmodernism as either radically dangerous in some extraordinarily novel way, or as a great advantage. The important thing is that we must speak from a position of our faith.
---
MHR: There are many definitions of postmodernism. What is the definition from which you're speaking?
OG: A key to remember is that postmodernism is not postmodernity. Many evangelicals make the mistake of thinking that if we are postmodern-which we are-then we must be living "after modernity."
On the contrary, postmodernism is a set of ideas which follows the collapse of modernism, not modernity. If you define modernism as the ideas that are part of what is sometimes called the Enlightenment project-the ideas that have flourished from the Enlightenment until today-then those ideas have collapsed. Modernity, on the other hand, is not just as a set of ideas, but is based on great structural revolutions, such as capitalism, industrialized technology, and modern telecommunication. And although modernism may have collapsed-the belief in truth, reason, progress, science-modernity is actually at its high noon.
In simple terms, postmodernism is a set of ideas that is flourishing at the high noon of modernity. Yet because many evangelicals have confused modernity and modernism, some think that because we are postmodern we've waved the wand and gotten rid of modernity.
Quite the contrary is true. The challenge of modernity is stronger than ever. There is no foreseeable means of dismantling modernity, short of the Lord's return or a nuclear disaster of unimaginable proportions.
If we in the west think we can give up modernity, then the Asians would be only too happy to take over. In other words, modernity will not simply be rolled back or dismantled anytime soon. Postmodernism is just a western phenomenon within the overall context of modernity.
----
MHR: Is it your prediction that postmodernism will fade?
OG: I don't believe postmodernism can last, because it is essentially negative. You couldn't build a family, sustain a university, or run a country on postmodern ideas for very long. Let me suggest an example.
At the moment, one of the Christian claims that seems embarrassing is the claim to truth. If you claim anything close to absolute truth on a modern campus, you are seen as Neanderthal, obscene, politically incorrect. A kind of "brave new world" feeling is prevalent, in which people are saying that truth is dead, following Nietzsche's thought-and that if truth is dead, then knowledge is simply power. The underlying idea is that if you simply understand the gender, race, or class of the person who makes the claim to truth, you will then discover the real bid, which is the bid for power. Everything is reduced to the role of power.
At first that sounds very brave, as you unmask and demystify. But it is an absolute myth. When all is said and done, if knowledge is only power, and if truth is dead, then everything is left to manipulation.
Many people are starting to recognize this problem. For example, how many western liberals admire Vaclav Havel and his role in the Czech revolution? The Czech revolution maxim was, "Truth prevails for those who live in truth." That's actually very close to the scriptures. Havel's point was that in facing a Marxist regime-an empire built on lies-there were only two ways to overcome it. One was by being strong, which, of course, the dissidents weren't. The other way was to live in truth: "Truth prevails to those who live in truth."
What fascinates me is the vast number of western liberals who admire that thought deeply-and rightly so-but who don't have a view of truth upon which they could do the same thing. And if you follow that line of argument around, you come back to Jesus' words: "You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."
Whether it happens on the level of interpersonal relationships, or in the realm of grand political things, people are casually giving up truth today with the "brave new idea" that knowledge is power and truth is dead. And, ironically, what looks like a great embarrassment-the Christian claim to truth-is actually one of our great trump cards. I think it soon will be seen to be so.
MHR: Soon?
OG: Marxism, for all its tyranny and technology, lasted only seventy-four years. That is a mere blinking of the eye in terms of history. Modern choice and change are coming so fast that the shelf-life of idols is very brief. I don't think postmodernism will be around in ten years' time.
----
MHR: At present, is the church making a mistake by trying to understand the gospel's relevance to postmodernism?
OG: No. You must understand that the gospel has relevance to everything while it's in vogue. But those who try to adapt too much will be washed up when the next thing comes along.
For two hundred years, that has been the mistake of liberalism-following Frederich Schleiermacher-in trying to reach a culture that despises the gospel. Liberals have joined the culture and stayed there.
Today, there is a near equivalent within evangelicalism, in the name of reaching the unchurched for the sake of relevance. The trouble is that the church often has adapted too much. Much of evangelicalism is every bit as liberal as liberalism. One could easily make the argument that evangelicalism is the worldliest tradition of the modern church.
I know liberals who describe themselves as chastened liberals. They chased every idea in the sixties, whether the idea was politics, therapy, or whatever. And they adapted the gospel to every one of those and sold out. Today they are amazed not that they were chastened by all those events, but that they see evangelicals doing the same things in the nineties.
A few excerpts for your consideration:
MHR: What has silenced the church? What keeps us from responding to this opportunity?
OG: There are a great number of factors. Many conservatives have lost their genuine passion to reach outside of themselves. They're now immersed in a political-cultural warring mode, which attacks people rather than tries to win them.
I also think the American church has an underlying insecurity. The larger culture is disintegrating-and yet, rather than having an incredible confidence in the truth of the gospel in a time of cultural disintegration, Christians sense that it's all over for the church and the gospel.
There are many other reasons we're not responding to this incredible opportunity we have evangelistically and aplogetically. But, in any case, we're not exploiting it.
---
MHR: You mentioned that some of the grand philosophies are failing, such as postmodernism. Would you say the gospel has relevance only outside of postmodernism, or could it have relevance within as well?
OG: I think the gospel has relevance both outside and inside. Both modernism and postmodernism give tremendous opportunity to the gospel, and both provide deadly challenges to the gospel as well.
Modernism, to its credit, had a very strong sense of truth, and a strong sense of the importance of truth and reason. Modernists may have thought the Christian faith was untrue or simply a bad faith, but at least they would discuss it.
Postmodernism is more welcoming. The postmodern attitude is, "You come from where you come from," so that more positions are level on the playing field. Yet, this perspective is built on a radical relativism that, at the end of the day, destroys everything.
I think a good apologetic based on scripture should be flexible enough and creative enough to survive and thrive in any situation. I don't agree with those who see postmodernism as either radically dangerous in some extraordinarily novel way, or as a great advantage. The important thing is that we must speak from a position of our faith.
---
MHR: There are many definitions of postmodernism. What is the definition from which you're speaking?
OG: A key to remember is that postmodernism is not postmodernity. Many evangelicals make the mistake of thinking that if we are postmodern-which we are-then we must be living "after modernity."
On the contrary, postmodernism is a set of ideas which follows the collapse of modernism, not modernity. If you define modernism as the ideas that are part of what is sometimes called the Enlightenment project-the ideas that have flourished from the Enlightenment until today-then those ideas have collapsed. Modernity, on the other hand, is not just as a set of ideas, but is based on great structural revolutions, such as capitalism, industrialized technology, and modern telecommunication. And although modernism may have collapsed-the belief in truth, reason, progress, science-modernity is actually at its high noon.
In simple terms, postmodernism is a set of ideas that is flourishing at the high noon of modernity. Yet because many evangelicals have confused modernity and modernism, some think that because we are postmodern we've waved the wand and gotten rid of modernity.
Quite the contrary is true. The challenge of modernity is stronger than ever. There is no foreseeable means of dismantling modernity, short of the Lord's return or a nuclear disaster of unimaginable proportions.
If we in the west think we can give up modernity, then the Asians would be only too happy to take over. In other words, modernity will not simply be rolled back or dismantled anytime soon. Postmodernism is just a western phenomenon within the overall context of modernity.
----
MHR: Is it your prediction that postmodernism will fade?
OG: I don't believe postmodernism can last, because it is essentially negative. You couldn't build a family, sustain a university, or run a country on postmodern ideas for very long. Let me suggest an example.
At the moment, one of the Christian claims that seems embarrassing is the claim to truth. If you claim anything close to absolute truth on a modern campus, you are seen as Neanderthal, obscene, politically incorrect. A kind of "brave new world" feeling is prevalent, in which people are saying that truth is dead, following Nietzsche's thought-and that if truth is dead, then knowledge is simply power. The underlying idea is that if you simply understand the gender, race, or class of the person who makes the claim to truth, you will then discover the real bid, which is the bid for power. Everything is reduced to the role of power.
At first that sounds very brave, as you unmask and demystify. But it is an absolute myth. When all is said and done, if knowledge is only power, and if truth is dead, then everything is left to manipulation.
Many people are starting to recognize this problem. For example, how many western liberals admire Vaclav Havel and his role in the Czech revolution? The Czech revolution maxim was, "Truth prevails for those who live in truth." That's actually very close to the scriptures. Havel's point was that in facing a Marxist regime-an empire built on lies-there were only two ways to overcome it. One was by being strong, which, of course, the dissidents weren't. The other way was to live in truth: "Truth prevails to those who live in truth."
What fascinates me is the vast number of western liberals who admire that thought deeply-and rightly so-but who don't have a view of truth upon which they could do the same thing. And if you follow that line of argument around, you come back to Jesus' words: "You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."
Whether it happens on the level of interpersonal relationships, or in the realm of grand political things, people are casually giving up truth today with the "brave new idea" that knowledge is power and truth is dead. And, ironically, what looks like a great embarrassment-the Christian claim to truth-is actually one of our great trump cards. I think it soon will be seen to be so.
MHR: Soon?
OG: Marxism, for all its tyranny and technology, lasted only seventy-four years. That is a mere blinking of the eye in terms of history. Modern choice and change are coming so fast that the shelf-life of idols is very brief. I don't think postmodernism will be around in ten years' time.
----
MHR: At present, is the church making a mistake by trying to understand the gospel's relevance to postmodernism?
OG: No. You must understand that the gospel has relevance to everything while it's in vogue. But those who try to adapt too much will be washed up when the next thing comes along.
For two hundred years, that has been the mistake of liberalism-following Frederich Schleiermacher-in trying to reach a culture that despises the gospel. Liberals have joined the culture and stayed there.
Today, there is a near equivalent within evangelicalism, in the name of reaching the unchurched for the sake of relevance. The trouble is that the church often has adapted too much. Much of evangelicalism is every bit as liberal as liberalism. One could easily make the argument that evangelicalism is the worldliest tradition of the modern church.
I know liberals who describe themselves as chastened liberals. They chased every idea in the sixties, whether the idea was politics, therapy, or whatever. And they adapted the gospel to every one of those and sold out. Today they are amazed not that they were chastened by all those events, but that they see evangelicals doing the same things in the nineties.
Monday, December 12, 2005
Birth Control in the Bible????
Soooooooo....I left a comment over on my brother-in-law's blog that said:
This past year has been an eye opener for me in actually reading the Bible and choosing to believe what it says -- even on such ideas as birth control!
A friend of mine emailed that people will wonder what the heck I meant, and possibly think I meant something I did not. In case any of Miroslav's readers are so shocked and dismayed that they click over to my blog to see what kind of freak show is going on over here, I thought I'd clarify my thoughts on birth control.
Birth Control is NOT mentioned in the Bible. Look it up in a concordance, you won't find it. However children are mentioned in scripture, lots of times, and our attitudes toward them are prescribed there for us as well. It is a new heart toward children -- which the Lord has given me through the process of reading scripture -- which has given me a new view of birth control. We used to go right along with the "children are a burden" philosophy, always looking for chances to have "breaks" from them, and dreaming about the things we could accomplish once they were grown and out of the house!
(The amazing thing has been watching God work in my husband's heart over the years. He has really changed his viewpoint on children. I have recently had the chance to watch Hubby explain to many people his thoughts about his vasectomy-reversal, and I have to wonder if this is the same man I married! Wow! I loved him when we got married, and I loved him when he got the vasectomy, but how my heart goes "pitter-patter, boom! boom! boom!" for him every time I see him look to God for answers to questions in our lives -- and then respond with appropriate action. A man of integrity!)
I think Douglas Wilson, author of Reforming Marriage, says it best. From the end of Chapter 8:
In one sense, the fact that birth control is an issue in the church again is a good sign. No longer are Christians automatically assuming that a practice which is widespread in the world must be legitimate. At the same time, just because multitudes of non-Christians are doing something does not automatically make it unlawful either. So how are we to approach the question?
The first step is to see if the Bible teaches directly on the subject. And at this level, it is clear that certain forms of birth control are expressly prohibited in Scripture. Beginning with the most obvious, we may exclude infanticide and abortion. The Bible excludes all such practices in the most direct way possible -- "Thou shall not kill." What many may not realize is that this commandment also excludes certain birth control devices, such as "morning after pills" or the IUD. These are devices which prevent the implantation of a fertilized egg. Consequently, they are unlawfully taking a human life after it has begun.
But what about other birth control devices? Does the Bible say anything about the lawfulness of a husband and wife limiting the number of children they have or spacing them? The answer is both yes and no. There is nothing in Scripture itself that says the act of using birth control is unlawful in itself. At the same time, most birth control as practiced today is sinful in its motivation and application. To understand this, we have to look at a related subject first.
While the Bible says nothing about birth control, as stated earlier, it teaches much about children and family. So before we can ask whether the practice of birth control is lawful, we have to ask whether or not it springs from an understanding of, and submission to, the Bible's teaching on the family. And because situations vary, sometimes it does and much of the time it does not.
Let us start with an example of a situation where the use of birth control would not be godly. Suppose a couple is thinking this way: "You know, kids are a hassle, both are careers are going well right now, the world is really overpopulated, and besides, we can always go off the pill later." Nothing is more apparent than the fact that this couple has been drinking in worldly assumptions from a fire hose.
Now a counter-example: "The Lord has graciously given us six children, and they are all a delight to us. But we have recently been thinking about using birth control because it is getting harder and harder to provide them with the care the Bible requires. We are starting to have trouble feeding them all -- and the tuition costs for a biblical education (or the time costs for a biblical home education) really add up."
Now this second couple may be mistaken in their assumptions (about their ability to care for seven children, for example). But this mistaken assumption is not the same kind of thing as the sinful and rebellious attitude exhibited by the first couple. In contrast, we see a family which believes that children are a blessing, and they have been acting accordingly.
Because the Bible says nothing about birth control itself, we must evaluate the action based upon whether the action is motivated by a biblical attitude toward that which the Bible does address -- children and family.
(Here Wilson goes into the story of Onan, showing that it wasn't Onan's actions so much as his motives that were evil -- trying to rob his deceased brother of his posterity)
Consequently, those who practice birth control with ungodly motives are following in the footsteps of Onan. But it takes a good deal of ingenuity to make a connection between this evil motive of Onan's and the motive a godly couple who practice birth control to space their children in order to maximize the number of children they can have (e.g., because she has to deliver by Caesarean section). So when there is no clear teaching in the Scripture on a subject of moral and ethical behavior, it is necessary for us to be silent. We may not condemn something as sin in itself simply on the grounds that most people who do it are sinful in their motivations.
But this does not mean that a Christian husband and wife practicing birth control are free to assume they are doing right. It is true, as argued above, that this entire issue must be understood in the light of our motivation, and our submission to the scriptural view of family. It is also true that in the area of motivations, we are answerable to God and Him alone. The issue of birth control is not an area where the civil magistrate or the elders of the church have any business. If an ungodly attitude toward children and family is visible and apparent, then THAT should be addressed by the elders of the church. But they should deal with it in the same way they would deal with an analogous situation (e.g., someone who has an ungodly attitude toward alcohol -- a substance not sinful in itself but which can be abused).
Parents are stewards before God, and God entrusts the children to them. Some parents receive the resources which God gives and bring up many children to serve Him. They are greatly blessed. Other parents may limit the children they have but believe the children they have to be a great blessing, and they also bring them up to serve the Lord. These parents are also blessed by God. When Jesus told the parable of the talents, He did not refer to any quarrel between the man who had ten talents and the man who had five. The one who got into trouble (with his master, and not with his fellow-servants) was the one who feared to be entrusted with any responsibility. He buried what he had in the ground and was condemned by his master. And this is what many Christian couples have done and are doing. They don't want the responsibility of parenthood, but God has said that He made them one for the purpose of godly offspring (Mal 2:15).
So our modern debate about birth control has unfortunately gravitated to the methods used -- as if the lazy servant could have justified himself by pointing out that the action of burying money in the ground is not inherently sinful. This is true enough, but beside the point.
Nowhere in the Bible does it say that the use of birth control is sinful.
So it is wrong to say that it is.
The Bible does consistently say that children are a blessing from the Lord.
And it is a sin to act as if they were not.
This past year has been an eye opener for me in actually reading the Bible and choosing to believe what it says -- even on such ideas as birth control!
A friend of mine emailed that people will wonder what the heck I meant, and possibly think I meant something I did not. In case any of Miroslav's readers are so shocked and dismayed that they click over to my blog to see what kind of freak show is going on over here, I thought I'd clarify my thoughts on birth control.
Birth Control is NOT mentioned in the Bible. Look it up in a concordance, you won't find it. However children are mentioned in scripture, lots of times, and our attitudes toward them are prescribed there for us as well. It is a new heart toward children -- which the Lord has given me through the process of reading scripture -- which has given me a new view of birth control. We used to go right along with the "children are a burden" philosophy, always looking for chances to have "breaks" from them, and dreaming about the things we could accomplish once they were grown and out of the house!
(The amazing thing has been watching God work in my husband's heart over the years. He has really changed his viewpoint on children. I have recently had the chance to watch Hubby explain to many people his thoughts about his vasectomy-reversal, and I have to wonder if this is the same man I married! Wow! I loved him when we got married, and I loved him when he got the vasectomy, but how my heart goes "pitter-patter, boom! boom! boom!" for him every time I see him look to God for answers to questions in our lives -- and then respond with appropriate action. A man of integrity!)
I think Douglas Wilson, author of Reforming Marriage, says it best. From the end of Chapter 8:
In one sense, the fact that birth control is an issue in the church again is a good sign. No longer are Christians automatically assuming that a practice which is widespread in the world must be legitimate. At the same time, just because multitudes of non-Christians are doing something does not automatically make it unlawful either. So how are we to approach the question?
The first step is to see if the Bible teaches directly on the subject. And at this level, it is clear that certain forms of birth control are expressly prohibited in Scripture. Beginning with the most obvious, we may exclude infanticide and abortion. The Bible excludes all such practices in the most direct way possible -- "Thou shall not kill." What many may not realize is that this commandment also excludes certain birth control devices, such as "morning after pills" or the IUD. These are devices which prevent the implantation of a fertilized egg. Consequently, they are unlawfully taking a human life after it has begun.
But what about other birth control devices? Does the Bible say anything about the lawfulness of a husband and wife limiting the number of children they have or spacing them? The answer is both yes and no. There is nothing in Scripture itself that says the act of using birth control is unlawful in itself. At the same time, most birth control as practiced today is sinful in its motivation and application. To understand this, we have to look at a related subject first.
While the Bible says nothing about birth control, as stated earlier, it teaches much about children and family. So before we can ask whether the practice of birth control is lawful, we have to ask whether or not it springs from an understanding of, and submission to, the Bible's teaching on the family. And because situations vary, sometimes it does and much of the time it does not.
Let us start with an example of a situation where the use of birth control would not be godly. Suppose a couple is thinking this way: "You know, kids are a hassle, both are careers are going well right now, the world is really overpopulated, and besides, we can always go off the pill later." Nothing is more apparent than the fact that this couple has been drinking in worldly assumptions from a fire hose.
Now a counter-example: "The Lord has graciously given us six children, and they are all a delight to us. But we have recently been thinking about using birth control because it is getting harder and harder to provide them with the care the Bible requires. We are starting to have trouble feeding them all -- and the tuition costs for a biblical education (or the time costs for a biblical home education) really add up."
Now this second couple may be mistaken in their assumptions (about their ability to care for seven children, for example). But this mistaken assumption is not the same kind of thing as the sinful and rebellious attitude exhibited by the first couple. In contrast, we see a family which believes that children are a blessing, and they have been acting accordingly.
Because the Bible says nothing about birth control itself, we must evaluate the action based upon whether the action is motivated by a biblical attitude toward that which the Bible does address -- children and family.
(Here Wilson goes into the story of Onan, showing that it wasn't Onan's actions so much as his motives that were evil -- trying to rob his deceased brother of his posterity)
Consequently, those who practice birth control with ungodly motives are following in the footsteps of Onan. But it takes a good deal of ingenuity to make a connection between this evil motive of Onan's and the motive a godly couple who practice birth control to space their children in order to maximize the number of children they can have (e.g., because she has to deliver by Caesarean section). So when there is no clear teaching in the Scripture on a subject of moral and ethical behavior, it is necessary for us to be silent. We may not condemn something as sin in itself simply on the grounds that most people who do it are sinful in their motivations.
But this does not mean that a Christian husband and wife practicing birth control are free to assume they are doing right. It is true, as argued above, that this entire issue must be understood in the light of our motivation, and our submission to the scriptural view of family. It is also true that in the area of motivations, we are answerable to God and Him alone. The issue of birth control is not an area where the civil magistrate or the elders of the church have any business. If an ungodly attitude toward children and family is visible and apparent, then THAT should be addressed by the elders of the church. But they should deal with it in the same way they would deal with an analogous situation (e.g., someone who has an ungodly attitude toward alcohol -- a substance not sinful in itself but which can be abused).
Parents are stewards before God, and God entrusts the children to them. Some parents receive the resources which God gives and bring up many children to serve Him. They are greatly blessed. Other parents may limit the children they have but believe the children they have to be a great blessing, and they also bring them up to serve the Lord. These parents are also blessed by God. When Jesus told the parable of the talents, He did not refer to any quarrel between the man who had ten talents and the man who had five. The one who got into trouble (with his master, and not with his fellow-servants) was the one who feared to be entrusted with any responsibility. He buried what he had in the ground and was condemned by his master. And this is what many Christian couples have done and are doing. They don't want the responsibility of parenthood, but God has said that He made them one for the purpose of godly offspring (Mal 2:15).
So our modern debate about birth control has unfortunately gravitated to the methods used -- as if the lazy servant could have justified himself by pointing out that the action of burying money in the ground is not inherently sinful. This is true enough, but beside the point.
Nowhere in the Bible does it say that the use of birth control is sinful.
So it is wrong to say that it is.
The Bible does consistently say that children are a blessing from the Lord.
And it is a sin to act as if they were not.
Sunday, December 11, 2005
The Emerging Delusion
Urgh.
Thinking is so hard. There is such a temptation to just stop doing it. How easy, how relaxing it would be to just ride the waves of group-think that I am surrounded with daily. Put my feet up. Give a big group hug. Smile and wave, smile and wave!
But reality gnaws at my heartstrings. The repulsive smell of the devil's handiwork fills my nostrils and slaps me awake. The words in my Bible simply won't disappear either -- each time I look they are still there (and unfortunately, it feels, become more and more clear with each reading).
The most current stewing in my mind? The Emerging Church.
I just read a fabulous article by Bob DeWaay called The Emergent Delusion. Though the article is long and not the easiest to think through, I feel as though I have just run a few miles, done 50 crunchies, and enjoyed a nice tall glass of fresh cold water. Ahhhh. There now! Some good thoughts for the old brain to chew on!
DeWaay's article is mostly a review of Brian McLaren's book, The Generous Orthodoxy (This book is actually subtitled Why I Am a Missional, Evangelical, Post/Protestant, Liberal/Conservative, Mystical/Poetic, Biblical, Charismatic/Contemplative, Fundamentalist/Calvinist, Anabaptist/Anglican, Methodist, Catholic, Green, Incarnational, Depressed-yet-Hopeful, Emergent, Unfinished CHRISTIAN).
A reviewer from Amazon.com, under the title "Nobody Can Tell You You're Not Jewish," aptly describes what seems to be the main idea of McLaren's book:
"The idea here (which McLaren blithely appropriates) is that words, even concepts, can mean anything I want them to mean, and no one can tell me any differently. Or, you can challenge me if you want, but I don't care; that's just your position and anyone can think anything they want and why can't we all just be brothers?"
Its enough that this book denies that the Bible reveals to us many absolute truths about God, but the truly disturbing thing is that this way of thinking represents mainstream Christianity. This book is published by Youth Specialties, a popular group I have always loved and trusted. McLaren is welcomed to speak at mainstream Christian gatherings all around our country. You can even McLaren to "coach" your church into organizational success (somehow I am reminded of the 40 Days of Purpose craze).To the untrained eye, McLaren is just another brother, promoting love and unity amongst the brethren.
Be afraid! Be very afraid!
McLaren is suggesting we move further from the truth rather than back to it. We need to move BACK to the Word of God! Back to the truths and triumphs brought forth by the Reformation. Back to the idea of sola scriptura. We do not need to "emerge" into a group of touchy-feeling New Agers who think God is whatever we'd like Him to be, saying along with McLaren,
"If I seem to show too little respect for your opinions or thought, be assured I have equal doubts about my own, and I don't mind if you think I am wrong. I'm sure I am wrong about many things, although I'm not sure exactly which things I'm wrong about. I'm even sure I'm wrong about what I think I'm right about in at least some cases. So wherever you think I'm wrong, you could be right."
Read McLaren's book. Read DeWaay's article. Search the scriptures.
Just go find your thinking cap, dust it off, and tie it tightly to your head.
We cannot afford to be lazy thinkers. The Church is headed into a direction of danger, and we all need to be awake enough to notice.
Thinking is so hard. There is such a temptation to just stop doing it. How easy, how relaxing it would be to just ride the waves of group-think that I am surrounded with daily. Put my feet up. Give a big group hug. Smile and wave, smile and wave!
But reality gnaws at my heartstrings. The repulsive smell of the devil's handiwork fills my nostrils and slaps me awake. The words in my Bible simply won't disappear either -- each time I look they are still there (and unfortunately, it feels, become more and more clear with each reading).
The most current stewing in my mind? The Emerging Church.
I just read a fabulous article by Bob DeWaay called The Emergent Delusion. Though the article is long and not the easiest to think through, I feel as though I have just run a few miles, done 50 crunchies, and enjoyed a nice tall glass of fresh cold water. Ahhhh. There now! Some good thoughts for the old brain to chew on!
DeWaay's article is mostly a review of Brian McLaren's book, The Generous Orthodoxy (This book is actually subtitled Why I Am a Missional, Evangelical, Post/Protestant, Liberal/Conservative, Mystical/Poetic, Biblical, Charismatic/Contemplative, Fundamentalist/Calvinist, Anabaptist/Anglican, Methodist, Catholic, Green, Incarnational, Depressed-yet-Hopeful, Emergent, Unfinished CHRISTIAN).
A reviewer from Amazon.com, under the title "Nobody Can Tell You You're Not Jewish," aptly describes what seems to be the main idea of McLaren's book:
"The idea here (which McLaren blithely appropriates) is that words, even concepts, can mean anything I want them to mean, and no one can tell me any differently. Or, you can challenge me if you want, but I don't care; that's just your position and anyone can think anything they want and why can't we all just be brothers?"
Its enough that this book denies that the Bible reveals to us many absolute truths about God, but the truly disturbing thing is that this way of thinking represents mainstream Christianity. This book is published by Youth Specialties, a popular group I have always loved and trusted. McLaren is welcomed to speak at mainstream Christian gatherings all around our country. You can even McLaren to "coach" your church into organizational success (somehow I am reminded of the 40 Days of Purpose craze).To the untrained eye, McLaren is just another brother, promoting love and unity amongst the brethren.
Be afraid! Be very afraid!
McLaren is suggesting we move further from the truth rather than back to it. We need to move BACK to the Word of God! Back to the truths and triumphs brought forth by the Reformation. Back to the idea of sola scriptura. We do not need to "emerge" into a group of touchy-feeling New Agers who think God is whatever we'd like Him to be, saying along with McLaren,
"If I seem to show too little respect for your opinions or thought, be assured I have equal doubts about my own, and I don't mind if you think I am wrong. I'm sure I am wrong about many things, although I'm not sure exactly which things I'm wrong about. I'm even sure I'm wrong about what I think I'm right about in at least some cases. So wherever you think I'm wrong, you could be right."
Read McLaren's book. Read DeWaay's article. Search the scriptures.
Just go find your thinking cap, dust it off, and tie it tightly to your head.
We cannot afford to be lazy thinkers. The Church is headed into a direction of danger, and we all need to be awake enough to notice.
Thursday, December 08, 2005
Improving His Aim...?
Just yesterday, I was reprimanded at a friend's home for using the "boy" bathroom instead of the guest bathroom. Everyone knows boys' bathrooms can be icky. For that matter, men's rooms can be worse. Have you ever seen a long line of women waiting for the potty, while the men's room remains vacant? Any of us who have tried the guys' side once before in desperation know from experience that the gals' side is worth the wait.
Well, this morning was no exception in our home. I had to go potty really badly and sat down on a WET seat. Now, our toilet is right next to the shower, which has been known to splash a little, so I didn't freak out at first. When I stood up, I could tell the toilet was not wet with shower water. I also noticed that it wasn't just the seat that was wet, but behind the seat and on both sides of the bottom of the toilet. How in the world could this have happened?
I began my wailing: Who did this? This is so disgusting! Who could miss like this?? It looks like someone pee'd ON the seat instead of IN it!!
My honest-most-of-the-time-lately son Micah ran into the bathroom with his eyes downcast. Quietly, he answered, "It was me, Mom. I'm sorry."
You? You did this? This is sooooooooooooo gross. I SAT in pee! I have pee on my bottom! Do you have any idea how disgusting that is?
Then I asked the question that most good parenting books tell you to skip:
WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?
I really didn't expect an answer, but I got one. Micah looked up at me with his big baby blues and in all sincerity explained, "Mom, there was a fly on the potty. I was trying to shoot it."
Suddenly the wicked vandalist transformed into an endearing little boy right before my very eyes. He and I started cracking up, hugged each other and had a good laugh, right there on the bathroom floor! Then I gave him the Windex and a ton of paper towels and told him to make the porcelain shine.
Micah knows that he shall never again try to shoot flies with bodily fluid. And I know that a wet bottom is not worth losing my temper over. Some day these boys will be grown up and gone, and I will remember (and miss) their antics with fondness.
Their future wives may have to deal with dirty toilets at times, but at least these husbands will know how to clean 'em up :)
Well, this morning was no exception in our home. I had to go potty really badly and sat down on a WET seat. Now, our toilet is right next to the shower, which has been known to splash a little, so I didn't freak out at first. When I stood up, I could tell the toilet was not wet with shower water. I also noticed that it wasn't just the seat that was wet, but behind the seat and on both sides of the bottom of the toilet. How in the world could this have happened?
I began my wailing: Who did this? This is so disgusting! Who could miss like this?? It looks like someone pee'd ON the seat instead of IN it!!
My honest-most-of-the-time-lately son Micah ran into the bathroom with his eyes downcast. Quietly, he answered, "It was me, Mom. I'm sorry."
You? You did this? This is sooooooooooooo gross. I SAT in pee! I have pee on my bottom! Do you have any idea how disgusting that is?
Then I asked the question that most good parenting books tell you to skip:
WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?
I really didn't expect an answer, but I got one. Micah looked up at me with his big baby blues and in all sincerity explained, "Mom, there was a fly on the potty. I was trying to shoot it."
Suddenly the wicked vandalist transformed into an endearing little boy right before my very eyes. He and I started cracking up, hugged each other and had a good laugh, right there on the bathroom floor! Then I gave him the Windex and a ton of paper towels and told him to make the porcelain shine.
Micah knows that he shall never again try to shoot flies with bodily fluid. And I know that a wet bottom is not worth losing my temper over. Some day these boys will be grown up and gone, and I will remember (and miss) their antics with fondness.
Their future wives may have to deal with dirty toilets at times, but at least these husbands will know how to clean 'em up :)
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
What the Good Man Does is Always Right
My son Christian read a story today from our book of Fairy Tales by Hans Christian Anderson. He called out, "Hey, Mom! I found your favorite story, What the Good Man Does is Always Right, remember it? Can I read it out loud for all of us?"
What a blessing to hear him refer to it as my favorite story. When I first read it to him a few years back, I remember fighting with my flesh all the way through it. The main male character is an idiot. What woman wouldn't scold him for his impropriety? Yet, not only does Mrs. Fairy Tale not scold her husband-dear, she finds something positive to say with each unveiling of bad news.
The end of this story [spoiler warning] brings Mr. and Mrs. Fairy Tale a bag of riches, due to the Missus' good attitude. A good reminder that I, too, can bring about good things for our family by simply following the guidelines God has given me in my How To Be a Good Wife Manual.
So, honey, if you ever sell our horse for some rotten apples, I'll give you a big kiss and say, "What the good man does is always right!"
What a blessing to hear him refer to it as my favorite story. When I first read it to him a few years back, I remember fighting with my flesh all the way through it. The main male character is an idiot. What woman wouldn't scold him for his impropriety? Yet, not only does Mrs. Fairy Tale not scold her husband-dear, she finds something positive to say with each unveiling of bad news.
The end of this story [spoiler warning] brings Mr. and Mrs. Fairy Tale a bag of riches, due to the Missus' good attitude. A good reminder that I, too, can bring about good things for our family by simply following the guidelines God has given me in my How To Be a Good Wife Manual.
So, honey, if you ever sell our horse for some rotten apples, I'll give you a big kiss and say, "What the good man does is always right!"
Proverbs 31:11 and 12
The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.
Sunday, December 04, 2005
No Children After 35
Women should not have children after 35;
thirty-five children are enough.
- Anonymous
A Reversal of Heart
Last month's issue of TEACH Magazine arrived on the perfect day -- I was second-guessing my husband's upcoming vasectomy-reversal.
The issue's main article was entitled, "I Wish We'd Had More!" The author, a mother of about 6, if I remember correctly, mentioned that the Number One thing she heard from folks when she was out and about with her children (after "Are they all YOURS?") was, "Oh, I wish we'd had more." -- spoken with a wistful sigh.
The fact of the matter is, I don't think any of us will look back and think we had one too many children, will we? But I wonder how many of us will wistfully look back and say, "I wish we'd had more."
I had been thinking it was too late for us. Hubby had a vasectomy three years ago, with our age-old plan of adopting in the near-future. When my hubby said he didn't think he could go through with adoption at this time (I do still hope God allows this for us someday), I thought we were "done." Funny how when you are sure something is impossible, you have the freedom to re-think your paradigm. Suddenly Hubby and I were looking into the lives of other families who "trusted the Lord for their birth control," and what we saw made sense. We were actually missing the fact that baby-making was no longer a mysterious part -- even if its something we were trying often to avoid -- of love-making. We wondered why we thought it was okay to permanently dismantle the fertility we had been given -- how had we missed the beauty of this gift and given it away in a few snips (and just so we could enjoy the marriage bed with no strings attached -- no new blessings for us, please). The benefits of large families suddenly began to appeal to us. It was too late for us to put these ideas into practice -- too bad we'd already had that vasectomy done!
No serious thought was given to a vasectomy-reversal (do you know how much they cost??), until I stumbled onto the site of a surgeon in Texas who does 'em as a MINISTRY, at a much cheaper rate than most. We prayed and sought the Lord, and after an Christian Entrepreneurial Conference, Hubby came home saying, "Let's do it!" His big worry had been spending the money, and God reminded him at this conference that money is just not a big deal, nothing to hold on to so tightly! (Sound like a good conference? You should come with us next year!)
The very day that I was to call for the reversal appointment, hubby's work offered to send him on a business trip to Texas -- meaning a free flight to the very Texas airport WHERE the reversal was to take place during the very week WHEN the reversal was to take place!
Fast-forward to a week before the reversal, where I was freaking out again. And not just for the worry of hubby's surgery and the worry of spending the money, but for my own selfish reasons. If we had another child "the natural way," there would be "too much space" between our now youngest and the next. I'd struggle even more with weight gain/weight loss. I might feel sick and tired. I wouldn't be able to drink diet soda. I'd have to go through the whole "no sleep" thing again, not to mention grinding up baby food, changing diapers, and potty training. I'd have to do that whole labor and delivery thing again -- eek!! My parents and friends would think we were crazy.
The article in TEACH magazine reminded me that the chance to participate in the creation of another human being is worth all of that, and then some. It laid out the many blessings one could receive by having another child, and I felt encouraged!
If its up for debate for you, check out all the scripture verses on children being blessings (Are there any other blessings we ask God to hold back on?), consider the impact we could have on our culture with a little exponential discipleship (some time I'll write a post workin' the numbers for ya), and have a look at these articles:
10 compelling reasons to have another child
Why Do You Have So Many Children?
For us, we don't know what the future holds. Statistics show only a 50% chance of pregnancy after vasectomy reversal. For the first time in our marriage, we are content to breathe-easy and wait and see what happens. May the Lord's will be done!
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
The Ten Million Commandments of California
California.
Land of the fruits and nuts.
Land of lots of legislation.
My hubby just let me know a new law has already gone into effect, requiring us to turn on our headlights whenever adverse weather conditions require that our windshield wipers are on! Now, this is a great, commonsense idea -- but need it be a LAW? (Did you know the idea for the law came from a "There Oughta Be a Law" contest?)
When we refuse to be self-governed (i.e. when we refuse to obey God), the government must step in. (The kids are just now thinking through these ideas while reading history story books of early America -- thanks to Truthquest History).
Jesus said that the entire Jewish Law could be summed up in 2 commandments: love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, and soul, and love your neighbor as yourself. Imagine a world where people actually did just that...how many other laws on the books would we need?!
Instead, especially here in California, we desire the "freedom" to become slaves to our sin, to do what feels good, looking out for number one at all costs. And so we have become the land of the 10 million commandments.
"If man will not be governed by the 10 commandments, he will be governed by the 10,000 commandments." -- G.K. Chesterton
Friday, November 25, 2005
Martin Luther on Husbandry
Great quote from an ancient blogger himself, Martin Luther:
"Our natural reason looks at marriage and turns up its nose and says, 'Alas! Must I rock the baby? Wash its diapers? Make its bed? Smell its stench? Stay at nights with it? Take care of it when it cries? Heal its rashes and sores?
And on top of that care for my spouse, provide labor at my trade, take care of this and take care of that? Do this and do that? And endure this and endure that? Why should I make such a prisoner of myself?'
What then does Christian faith say to this? It opens its eyes, looks upon all these insignificant, distasteful and despised duties in the spirit, and is aware that they are all adorned with divine approval as with the costliest gold and jewels.
It says, 'O God, I confess I am not worthy to rock that little babe or wash its diapers, or to be entrusted with the care of a child and its mother. How is it that I without any merit have come to this distinction of being certain that I am serving thy creature and thy most precious will? Oh, how gladly will I do so. Though the duty should be even more insignificant and despised, neither frost nor heat, neither drudgery nor labor will distress me for I am certain that it is thus pleasing in thy sight.' "
(This quote provided by Julie from the History Questers Yahoo Group)
"Our natural reason looks at marriage and turns up its nose and says, 'Alas! Must I rock the baby? Wash its diapers? Make its bed? Smell its stench? Stay at nights with it? Take care of it when it cries? Heal its rashes and sores?
And on top of that care for my spouse, provide labor at my trade, take care of this and take care of that? Do this and do that? And endure this and endure that? Why should I make such a prisoner of myself?'
What then does Christian faith say to this? It opens its eyes, looks upon all these insignificant, distasteful and despised duties in the spirit, and is aware that they are all adorned with divine approval as with the costliest gold and jewels.
It says, 'O God, I confess I am not worthy to rock that little babe or wash its diapers, or to be entrusted with the care of a child and its mother. How is it that I without any merit have come to this distinction of being certain that I am serving thy creature and thy most precious will? Oh, how gladly will I do so. Though the duty should be even more insignificant and despised, neither frost nor heat, neither drudgery nor labor will distress me for I am certain that it is thus pleasing in thy sight.' "
(This quote provided by Julie from the History Questers Yahoo Group)
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
7 Habits of Highly Effective Women
Titus 2:3-5 tells me 7 things I can do -- should do -- so that the Word of God will not be blasphemed (profaned, made to look bad or untrue).
Where have I had my head stuck for the past 30 years that these are new concepts to me? And with the reputation of THE WORD OF GOD at stake! Yikes!
Surely I have read these verses before, only now the Lord has pulled the scales off of my eyes and I can see what an intense and interesting job description is laid out for me. The very controversial and fascinating book Created To Be His Help-Meet by Debi Pearl has provided some practical tips on acheiving these 7 habits:
1. Love My Husband (To live every day -- and every night! -- ready to minister to my husband's needs)
2. Love My Children (To consider the needs of my children before my own interests, to invest time in training them to know and do many things, to school myself in diet and medicine that I may be better equipped to keep them safe)
3. Be Sensible/Discreet (To grow in grace and knowledge, to be gracious and honest, to be wise in the building up of my house and my husband, to select the best means to accomplish a purpose)
4. Be Pure/Chaste (To dress modestly, making sure not to draw eyes of anyone that is not my husband to my body -- I wish I'd understood this one better when I was younger!)
5. Be a Keeper at Home (To make my home my main ministry -- a place where I spend a lot of my time, to take my responsibilities seriously, to know that whatever I sow I will reap -- actions have consequences, to make valuable use of my time at home, to create a clean and pleasant haven, to minister to others through hospitality)
6. Be Kind/Good (to be genuine, joyful, virtuous, valuable, competent, agreeable, pleasant, faithful, gracious, hardworking, merciful, honorable, wise, to help!, to serve others, to serve my husband first, children second, others next, and myself last)
7. Be Obedient to My Husband (Here it is in black and white -- Greek and English! Obey my husband! Not just submit in the case of coming to an impasse, but to be yielding, willing and eager to accomplish my husband's wishes. Well, my husband just said he wished I was in the other room watching T.V. with him, so I'm outta here!)
Where have I had my head stuck for the past 30 years that these are new concepts to me? And with the reputation of THE WORD OF GOD at stake! Yikes!
Surely I have read these verses before, only now the Lord has pulled the scales off of my eyes and I can see what an intense and interesting job description is laid out for me. The very controversial and fascinating book Created To Be His Help-Meet by Debi Pearl has provided some practical tips on acheiving these 7 habits:
1. Love My Husband (To live every day -- and every night! -- ready to minister to my husband's needs)
2. Love My Children (To consider the needs of my children before my own interests, to invest time in training them to know and do many things, to school myself in diet and medicine that I may be better equipped to keep them safe)
3. Be Sensible/Discreet (To grow in grace and knowledge, to be gracious and honest, to be wise in the building up of my house and my husband, to select the best means to accomplish a purpose)
4. Be Pure/Chaste (To dress modestly, making sure not to draw eyes of anyone that is not my husband to my body -- I wish I'd understood this one better when I was younger!)
5. Be a Keeper at Home (To make my home my main ministry -- a place where I spend a lot of my time, to take my responsibilities seriously, to know that whatever I sow I will reap -- actions have consequences, to make valuable use of my time at home, to create a clean and pleasant haven, to minister to others through hospitality)
6. Be Kind/Good (to be genuine, joyful, virtuous, valuable, competent, agreeable, pleasant, faithful, gracious, hardworking, merciful, honorable, wise, to help!, to serve others, to serve my husband first, children second, others next, and myself last)
7. Be Obedient to My Husband (Here it is in black and white -- Greek and English! Obey my husband! Not just submit in the case of coming to an impasse, but to be yielding, willing and eager to accomplish my husband's wishes. Well, my husband just said he wished I was in the other room watching T.V. with him, so I'm outta here!)
Sunday, November 13, 2005
He's Home, and Un-Broken
While my dear husband was gone to Texas for his vasectomy reversal, I complained to him about how everything broke as soon as he left our home!
We had a toilet overflow, a vacuum cleaner fizzle out, my Kitchen Aid mixer burnt out, and our closet door busted.
He commented,
"Well, at least I'll be coming home un-broken!"
He's home, and though he looks and feels pretty broken, it is comforting to know that he is now truly "FIXED!"
Saturday, November 12, 2005
Top Ten List for Tamara
I wrote this letter a year ago to a friend who had become discouraged with her decision to homeschool. Having found herself unexpectedly pregnant with her third child, she became overwhelmed with the thought of teaching her 5-year-old son at home. Wanting the best for her child, she enrolled him in an exceptional school (with a really long waiting list). She asked the Lord to show her the right educational choice for this year by whether or not her son made it to the top of the waiting list in time. When the school year began, and her son was not yet admitted into the school, she became disheartened. Names and other details have been changed to protect the innocent.
Dear Tamara, I have been thinking of you this week in your struggles with Joseph not yet getting accepted into the alternative school as you had hoped. I thought I would quickly type up a TOP TEN list for you: the TOP TEN reasons why it will be the "best" choice to homeschool for the Fall of 2004, along with boat-loads of interesting online articles to read. I am not trying to help you make a choice here; it looks like home schooling has been chosen for you (due to circumstances). I would, however, like to give you some reasons to be encouraged that this is a good choice!
Where are the Boys?Homeschooling BoysFox News Story
Reason Number 9: You can delay Joseph's movement from family-orientation to peer-orientation for at least one year, something that will bless you greatly, and make for a more mature Joseph, better equipped to later handle peer-pressure, no doubt! Here is a great article by the Bluedorns, popular supporters of Classical Education:
Homeschools Increase, Classrooms Decrease
Reason Number 8: Kindergarten is awful early to send a little one away from the homefront. I have read a lot of research that seems to reveal that even brilliant children (as we know yours are) do better the longer they delay getting into institutional school. Here is a website of Dr. Raymond Moore (who also wrote HomeGrown Kids and Better Late than Early) and another article on downfalls of early schooling v. staying home a bit longer.
Reason Number 7: Living life in your wonderful loving home will be so much more fun and exciting than sitting in a classroom all day! Here is a great article on boredom in public schools. Side Note: In this article, Gatto also speaks of the origins of our schooling system: the country of Prussia. I can't help thinking of Nazi Germany, and how the masses were taught to follow leaders and not think for themselves...I found a quote by Dietrich Bonhoeffer (I can‘t find it right now) where he put the blame for Hitler’s acceptance by the community-at-large on Germany’s educational system. Germany and Prussia‘s educational ideals were the same, and we in the U.S. based our system originally on their examples! True, the ideals our society tries to give children are much better than Hitler’s, but I don’t want my children just to accept and obey convention, I want my children to learn how to THINK for themselves!! This whole idea was a new one to me, you can get a collection of Gatto’s essays called A Different Kind of Teacher from the library. He was NY State and City Teacher of the year several times...
Reason Number 6: You can give Joseph another year of “true” socialization instead of just peer socialization. I have recently realized how much better socialized most homeschooling kids are. They look adults in the eyes, carry on mature conversations, don’t seem scared of or put-off by grown-ups. Honestly, the maturity and poise of these students has pushed me into further considering home education. It makes sense to socialize your children with all kinds of people, all different races, all different ages (from babies to the elderly) -- to really teach them how to get along with others. Being in an institution with 20 (or more!) other age-mates for the greater part of the day simply cannot prepare one socially for real life. Click here for an interesting article on this subject.
Reason Number 5: Most schools send home about an hour of homework a night, and this alternative school would probably send home more. Knowing that you already are going to have to do 1 hour of work a day with Joseph, why not let it be the work you know he needs, and save him from doing work that doesn't meet his needs (and save him from wasting time). I love the fact that I spend the same amount of time working w/ CJ each night as my friends whose kids are in school during the day, and I get lots of extra time for real life with him too. Not to mention I can be confident that I understand what I am teaching him -- I don’t have to figure out a middle man’s teaching techniques. And instead of following a stranger's lead for my little boy, I am blessed to be able to listen both to the Lord's direction and my husband's vision for CJ's education. Boy, does this really help me feel confident in parenting in general!
Reason Number 4: Joseph will have the BEST teacher in the whole world, the woman that not only knows him better than anyone else, but loves him more than any other teacher possibly could. Not to mention that you are BRILLIANT and MORE THAN CAPABLE, the love in your heart alone would work wonders. You have been custom-made by God to teach Joseph -- look what a great job you’ve done so far! Because you know him so well, Joseph won't be held back or pushed ahead -- you can individualize his education. He is a unique person who will not fit into a category -- he isn't average. He may be reading at a 5th grade level next year (and would be bored in class) and doing pre-school math (and could end up being intimidated math-wise at school). You can direct his education in just the way that fits him!
Reason Number 3: Joseph will have 3 extra hours a day, 15 extra hours a week, to spend in YOUR presence.
Reason Number 2: Joseph will have 3 extra hours a day, 15 extra more a week, to spend with Sister Sarah and Baby #3. Imagine the closeness this will foster...and how much harder that would be to do if they were apart several hours a day. I get teary-eyed sometimes when I see my boys acting “close!” The love they have for each other touches the deepest part of me.
And the Number 1 Reason to Homeschool Next Fall: God strategically placed you right here, right now, for His purpose. A *gentle* reminder -- you really did ask the Lord for a fleece; you told Him you would see homeschooling as the best option (for now) if the school did not become available to you. I think that in and of itself is a nice confirmation that the Lord is paying attention to you and wanting to direct your steps. Even though it wasn’t the answer you were expecting, it is so exciting to know that He answered! If and when the school finds a spot for Joseph, you will be ready at that time! He will work everything out for you. I just know homeschooling will be so much easier than you think. Five in A Row is a gentle curriculum that takes little prep time. I have also heard wonders about My Father's World -- I think you would LOVE THIS! It is an entire curriculum, sort of a unit study. I have heard it is not overwhelming. Kinda pricey ($100 for 1 year) but it covers a lot. I think the first year includes a Geographical Trip around the World -- I know God has put International ideas in your heart...check it out, maybe its for you...? I hope you will be at peace at whatever comes your way this fall! If the Lord does end up opening the door for Joseph at that school, be assured I will fully support you in that endeavor!!
Best wishes, Tamara!
Love, Debbie
Dear Tamara, I have been thinking of you this week in your struggles with Joseph not yet getting accepted into the alternative school as you had hoped. I thought I would quickly type up a TOP TEN list for you: the TOP TEN reasons why it will be the "best" choice to homeschool for the Fall of 2004, along with boat-loads of interesting online articles to read. I am not trying to help you make a choice here; it looks like home schooling has been chosen for you (due to circumstances). I would, however, like to give you some reasons to be encouraged that this is a good choice!
TOP TEN REASONS TO BE HAPPY TO HOMESCHOOL IN FALL 2004
Reason Number 10: You have a a BOY!! I had never considered homeschooling until I began reading about boys and education (one of those places was Dobson's Bringing Up Boys). Even though your little boy is VERY well-mannered and able to sit still, he is still a BOY. Schools really are set up for girls, and they very much reward boys for feminine traits and punish for energetic behavior. I am on a mission to grow up godly masculine men, especially after reading Wild At Heart and Raising a Modern Day Knight! It seems that homeschooling will make this task easier and ever more enjoyable... Here are a few websites I found on boys and homeschooling:Where are the Boys?Homeschooling BoysFox News Story
Reason Number 9: You can delay Joseph's movement from family-orientation to peer-orientation for at least one year, something that will bless you greatly, and make for a more mature Joseph, better equipped to later handle peer-pressure, no doubt! Here is a great article by the Bluedorns, popular supporters of Classical Education:
Homeschools Increase, Classrooms Decrease
Reason Number 8: Kindergarten is awful early to send a little one away from the homefront. I have read a lot of research that seems to reveal that even brilliant children (as we know yours are) do better the longer they delay getting into institutional school. Here is a website of Dr. Raymond Moore (who also wrote HomeGrown Kids and Better Late than Early) and another article on downfalls of early schooling v. staying home a bit longer.
Reason Number 7: Living life in your wonderful loving home will be so much more fun and exciting than sitting in a classroom all day! Here is a great article on boredom in public schools. Side Note: In this article, Gatto also speaks of the origins of our schooling system: the country of Prussia. I can't help thinking of Nazi Germany, and how the masses were taught to follow leaders and not think for themselves...I found a quote by Dietrich Bonhoeffer (I can‘t find it right now) where he put the blame for Hitler’s acceptance by the community-at-large on Germany’s educational system. Germany and Prussia‘s educational ideals were the same, and we in the U.S. based our system originally on their examples! True, the ideals our society tries to give children are much better than Hitler’s, but I don’t want my children just to accept and obey convention, I want my children to learn how to THINK for themselves!! This whole idea was a new one to me, you can get a collection of Gatto’s essays called A Different Kind of Teacher from the library. He was NY State and City Teacher of the year several times...
Reason Number 6: You can give Joseph another year of “true” socialization instead of just peer socialization. I have recently realized how much better socialized most homeschooling kids are. They look adults in the eyes, carry on mature conversations, don’t seem scared of or put-off by grown-ups. Honestly, the maturity and poise of these students has pushed me into further considering home education. It makes sense to socialize your children with all kinds of people, all different races, all different ages (from babies to the elderly) -- to really teach them how to get along with others. Being in an institution with 20 (or more!) other age-mates for the greater part of the day simply cannot prepare one socially for real life. Click here for an interesting article on this subject.
Reason Number 5: Most schools send home about an hour of homework a night, and this alternative school would probably send home more. Knowing that you already are going to have to do 1 hour of work a day with Joseph, why not let it be the work you know he needs, and save him from doing work that doesn't meet his needs (and save him from wasting time). I love the fact that I spend the same amount of time working w/ CJ each night as my friends whose kids are in school during the day, and I get lots of extra time for real life with him too. Not to mention I can be confident that I understand what I am teaching him -- I don’t have to figure out a middle man’s teaching techniques. And instead of following a stranger's lead for my little boy, I am blessed to be able to listen both to the Lord's direction and my husband's vision for CJ's education. Boy, does this really help me feel confident in parenting in general!
Reason Number 4: Joseph will have the BEST teacher in the whole world, the woman that not only knows him better than anyone else, but loves him more than any other teacher possibly could. Not to mention that you are BRILLIANT and MORE THAN CAPABLE, the love in your heart alone would work wonders. You have been custom-made by God to teach Joseph -- look what a great job you’ve done so far! Because you know him so well, Joseph won't be held back or pushed ahead -- you can individualize his education. He is a unique person who will not fit into a category -- he isn't average. He may be reading at a 5th grade level next year (and would be bored in class) and doing pre-school math (and could end up being intimidated math-wise at school). You can direct his education in just the way that fits him!
Reason Number 3: Joseph will have 3 extra hours a day, 15 extra hours a week, to spend in YOUR presence.
Reason Number 2: Joseph will have 3 extra hours a day, 15 extra more a week, to spend with Sister Sarah and Baby #3. Imagine the closeness this will foster...and how much harder that would be to do if they were apart several hours a day. I get teary-eyed sometimes when I see my boys acting “close!” The love they have for each other touches the deepest part of me.
And the Number 1 Reason to Homeschool Next Fall: God strategically placed you right here, right now, for His purpose. A *gentle* reminder -- you really did ask the Lord for a fleece; you told Him you would see homeschooling as the best option (for now) if the school did not become available to you. I think that in and of itself is a nice confirmation that the Lord is paying attention to you and wanting to direct your steps. Even though it wasn’t the answer you were expecting, it is so exciting to know that He answered! If and when the school finds a spot for Joseph, you will be ready at that time! He will work everything out for you. I just know homeschooling will be so much easier than you think. Five in A Row is a gentle curriculum that takes little prep time. I have also heard wonders about My Father's World -- I think you would LOVE THIS! It is an entire curriculum, sort of a unit study. I have heard it is not overwhelming. Kinda pricey ($100 for 1 year) but it covers a lot. I think the first year includes a Geographical Trip around the World -- I know God has put International ideas in your heart...check it out, maybe its for you...? I hope you will be at peace at whatever comes your way this fall! If the Lord does end up opening the door for Joseph at that school, be assured I will fully support you in that endeavor!!
Best wishes, Tamara!
Love, Debbie
If It Ain't Broke, Don't Fix it!
The Dangers of Vasectomy
Of course, like any statistics, the "facts" about the aftermath of vasectomy vary greatly from scientist to scientist. I just wish our doctor had at least run these contrary ideas past us before the vasectomy...like the possiblity of a greater risk of prostate cancer, yikes!
Now, looking back, it was strange how eager the insurance company was to provide for us the vasectomy -- no co-pay even! All Hubby had to do was watch a little video and sign a release form...I haven't quite figured this out. Perhaps they know they will save money not having to take care of future progeny??
Anyway, some ideas to consider before you go snippin' away:
Dangers of a Vasectomy
Don't Fix It!
Vasectomies Gone Bad
Of course, like any statistics, the "facts" about the aftermath of vasectomy vary greatly from scientist to scientist. I just wish our doctor had at least run these contrary ideas past us before the vasectomy...like the possiblity of a greater risk of prostate cancer, yikes!
Now, looking back, it was strange how eager the insurance company was to provide for us the vasectomy -- no co-pay even! All Hubby had to do was watch a little video and sign a release form...I haven't quite figured this out. Perhaps they know they will save money not having to take care of future progeny??
Anyway, some ideas to consider before you go snippin' away:
Dangers of a Vasectomy
Don't Fix It!
Vasectomies Gone Bad
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
The Way Home
Mary Pride is rockin' my world.
I recently read All the Way Home by Mary Pride and was motivated to find her 1st book, The Way Home....wow! wow! wow!
Here's a little quip from the chapter called "Beyond the 'Me' Marriage," in regard to the Church being infected by divorce:
Some say that this sorry state is a sure sign of the end times. But end times or no end times, the church is always supposed to be the light of the world. God expects us to shine brightly, not flicker fitfully! The church is also supposed to be the salt of the world, which even in small amounts flavors the mass and protects it from decay. We can and should be influencing the world to get better; it shouldn't be influencing us to get worse.
If the Christian family is falling into disrepair, it is not because our God is not powerful enough to maintain us in the midst of a corrupt society. New Testament Christians faced a society that in some ways was even more decadent than ours, with cult prostitutes, infanticide, and gladiators battling to the death for the crowd's "entertainment." Yet history witnesses that the early Christians had outstandingly stable and holy home lives. If we can't say the same, perhaps is because we have walked away from what the New Testament Christians had. Perhaps in our zeal to be relevant we have replaced Christian culture with twentieth-century humanist culture.
I recently read All the Way Home by Mary Pride and was motivated to find her 1st book, The Way Home....wow! wow! wow!
Here's a little quip from the chapter called "Beyond the 'Me' Marriage," in regard to the Church being infected by divorce:
Some say that this sorry state is a sure sign of the end times. But end times or no end times, the church is always supposed to be the light of the world. God expects us to shine brightly, not flicker fitfully! The church is also supposed to be the salt of the world, which even in small amounts flavors the mass and protects it from decay. We can and should be influencing the world to get better; it shouldn't be influencing us to get worse.
If the Christian family is falling into disrepair, it is not because our God is not powerful enough to maintain us in the midst of a corrupt society. New Testament Christians faced a society that in some ways was even more decadent than ours, with cult prostitutes, infanticide, and gladiators battling to the death for the crowd's "entertainment." Yet history witnesses that the early Christians had outstandingly stable and holy home lives. If we can't say the same, perhaps is because we have walked away from what the New Testament Christians had. Perhaps in our zeal to be relevant we have replaced Christian culture with twentieth-century humanist culture.
Friday, July 08, 2005
Courtship Questions for Christian
I have been cleaning out my old "journals" (if you can call random bits of paper stuck into books, folders, and notebooks, "journals!") and came across this gem!
Last Christmas, Kathy (visiting from East Africa) and I found an Application to Court My Daughter on the internet. As we were laughing out loud at the notion, my then-6-year-old son began to answer the questions out loud, causing fits of laughter!
And after thinking on it, I realized that we do want to raise our boys to be of the caliber that can stand up to a gal's daddy asking such questions of him! I think I'll ask some of these questions once every year or so and keep note of how the boys (hopefully!) mature.
We only asked him a portion the age-appropriate questions...his answers are in italics below.
APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO COURT
Would you say you love God? Why?
Yes! Because, actually, He made me!
If you love God, how would you say your love manifests itself?
If someone heard me singing a God-Song, they would know I love Him.
If you were by yourself and were being assaulted for your faith in Christ, how would you respond?
I wouldn't hurt him. I would say, "God, can you hit him in the head and stop him from hurting me?"
If you were asked by someone how they could be saved, what would you tell them?
If they fell off a mountain and stopped in the middle of the air, they would be "saved." You can be saved from hell by No. 1: By asking God in your heart, and No. 2: By going to church. Oh, wait, you really don't have to go to church.
If you died and faced Christ, and he asked you why he should let you into heaven, what would you say?
God should let me into heaven because I asked Jesus in my heart -- and because I'm dead.
Next to the Bible, what are your favorite books?
The Bible is my favorite God-Book. Geronimo Stilton is my favorite other book!
Who are your favorite teachers and why?
My mom! She is my favorite because she homeschools me.
What role does psychology have in relationship with the Bible?
What's that?
Do you want to have children? How many are you hoping for?
I really wish for a big number of kids, but that's not going to happen. I'd like 12.
If you enjoyed a certain kind of music, and discovered that it was a stumbling block to your wife, what would you do?
I would make her leave the room so I could listen to it.
What types of entertainment do you watch? ie: TV, movies, videos, etc.
I like to play Super Monkey Ball II, Star Wars, Mario Party 5.
How do you determine what entertainment is acceptable for you as a Christian and what is not?
I know if God wants me to watch it...like if its a bad song, I'll quit it. Or if it has bad words, it's bad.
How do you express anger, and what sets you off?
When Micah messed up our game, I was mad. I didn't throw a fit. I said, "I'm mad."
What would you do if your wife became upset and began beating on your chest?
I would... (thoughtful pause) push her back and kick her off of me.
How does your pride manifest itself?
When Micah buys my favorite toy that I really want to keep, my pride shows. If he says, "No, you can't play with it," I say, "I'm gonna take it from you."
Where would you like to live? ie: city, state, topical region, etc.
I want to live in Singapore because they have lots of math books.
What dream for yourself would you like to be fulfilled 20 years from now?
By age 26? Get married? That's not a dream, it's a nightmare. Ha! Ha! Ha! When I'm 26 I would like to own a store named, Wal Toys.
What is your most outrageous dream for the future?
I would like to sky-glide!
Last Christmas, Kathy (visiting from East Africa) and I found an Application to Court My Daughter on the internet. As we were laughing out loud at the notion, my then-6-year-old son began to answer the questions out loud, causing fits of laughter!
And after thinking on it, I realized that we do want to raise our boys to be of the caliber that can stand up to a gal's daddy asking such questions of him! I think I'll ask some of these questions once every year or so and keep note of how the boys (hopefully!) mature.
We only asked him a portion the age-appropriate questions...his answers are in italics below.
APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO COURT
Would you say you love God? Why?
Yes! Because, actually, He made me!
If you love God, how would you say your love manifests itself?
If someone heard me singing a God-Song, they would know I love Him.
If you were by yourself and were being assaulted for your faith in Christ, how would you respond?
I wouldn't hurt him. I would say, "God, can you hit him in the head and stop him from hurting me?"
If you were asked by someone how they could be saved, what would you tell them?
If they fell off a mountain and stopped in the middle of the air, they would be "saved." You can be saved from hell by No. 1: By asking God in your heart, and No. 2: By going to church. Oh, wait, you really don't have to go to church.
If you died and faced Christ, and he asked you why he should let you into heaven, what would you say?
God should let me into heaven because I asked Jesus in my heart -- and because I'm dead.
Next to the Bible, what are your favorite books?
The Bible is my favorite God-Book. Geronimo Stilton is my favorite other book!
Who are your favorite teachers and why?
My mom! She is my favorite because she homeschools me.
What role does psychology have in relationship with the Bible?
What's that?
Do you want to have children? How many are you hoping for?
I really wish for a big number of kids, but that's not going to happen. I'd like 12.
If you enjoyed a certain kind of music, and discovered that it was a stumbling block to your wife, what would you do?
I would make her leave the room so I could listen to it.
What types of entertainment do you watch? ie: TV, movies, videos, etc.
I like to play Super Monkey Ball II, Star Wars, Mario Party 5.
How do you determine what entertainment is acceptable for you as a Christian and what is not?
I know if God wants me to watch it...like if its a bad song, I'll quit it. Or if it has bad words, it's bad.
How do you express anger, and what sets you off?
When Micah messed up our game, I was mad. I didn't throw a fit. I said, "I'm mad."
What would you do if your wife became upset and began beating on your chest?
I would... (thoughtful pause) push her back and kick her off of me.
How does your pride manifest itself?
When Micah buys my favorite toy that I really want to keep, my pride shows. If he says, "No, you can't play with it," I say, "I'm gonna take it from you."
Where would you like to live? ie: city, state, topical region, etc.
I want to live in Singapore because they have lots of math books.
What dream for yourself would you like to be fulfilled 20 years from now?
By age 26? Get married? That's not a dream, it's a nightmare. Ha! Ha! Ha! When I'm 26 I would like to own a store named, Wal Toys.
What is your most outrageous dream for the future?
I would like to sky-glide!
Friday, July 01, 2005
Song of Micah
------
Micah.
Our strong-willed child.
Our Independent Thinker.
While our first-born was so eager to learn about Jesus, memorize scripture, and beg Jesus to come into his heart so he "wouldn't be a bad guy anymore," our second-born has been a little less enthusiastic. In fact, at age 3, he looked me square-in-the-eye and declared, “I don’t like God and I don’t need Jesus.” He began to refuse to pray during family prayer times. He often disconnected from us in spiritual matters.
Over the past few years I struggled through theological questions regarding Calvinism v. Arminianism and Everything-In-Between. How much of our salvation is based upon our choosing God v. God choosing us? In other words, as a mommy, where did my striving need to be focused: in convincing Micah to choose the Lord, or in begging the Lord to choose my son? Well, of course, we haven’t backed off of the overall goal of Romancing Our Child’s Heart for the Lord but we have commenced a serious campaign of begging the King to save our little boy’s soul!
More than once the prayer heavy on my heart at my women’s prayer group or homeschooling support group has been for Micah’s heart. Some folks have told me not to worry, after all, he is so young! These folks have not seen the resolve in my son’s eyes :). Other sweet friends and grandparents have sensed that there may be something to our intuition and joined my husband and I in praying for God to keep Micah for himself. My childhood best friend (now a missionary in East Africa) vowed to pray often for little Micah (she sees in him a intricate, complex soul much like her own).
Wow, does God answer prayers! I know full well that Micah's walk with the Lord will face many years of ups and downs -- from dark stormy days to days of flourishing Spring, but I cannot help proclaiming what the Lord has done ALREADY in my young man’s heart! I am so stirred that He hears the prayers of my heart – who am I that He should touch me with His Grace?
Over the past year, Micah has shown a new-found interest in Things of God. It started with an Easter movie about the death and resurrection of Christ – his little heart was broken in two that Jesus had to die on the cross! He cried for an hour, leaving two belwildered parents wondering how to lead him to the Throne of Grace! He now swings on his swing and revels in songs of praise to the Lord with the wind brushing against his face as he connects with the Almighty! Several times we have overheard him composing songs of his own to celebrate his Lord, and even during our bedtime prayer will often ask if he can sing his prayer. It seems that nature and things of beauty and grandeur speak right to his heart of the Glory of God.
A few weekends ago our family went camping with several other Believers and had the opportunity to have “church” in the mountains together on Sunday morning. I was struck to the heart to see my little boy with his eyes closed and hands lifted up to the sky, singing to the Lord Most High with love all over his face! The Cherry-on-the-Sundae of this Blessing from Above was the song Micah spontaneously broke into on the drive home from the camping trip:
God is The Powerful One
God is the Powerful One
Most powerful in the world
He’s so nice to me
He takes care of me
He loves me a lot
Oh, He loves me a lot!
He’s so nice
He’s so very nice
I like Him
I like Him because He is most powerful in the world…
And so nice to me!
I will die, but I will stay Alive
I really want to see Him
God is the Powerful One
God is the Strongest One
Who is so nice to me.
God is the one who is so strong
God is so very strong
Even if I die, I will still stay alive
He is my Powerful One
He saved me lots of times
He loves me – even though he knows me,
He likes me a lot!
I furiously jotted down the words as fast as I could, and I know I left out a phrase or two (in fact, he told me the other day I must have left out the words “He is stronger than a worm and a monkey,” but I just can't see where that should be inserted into the song). We are eager to see what the Lord continues to do in Micah’s heart. We will do what we can and what the Lord leads to ensure that Micah is discipled into a Man after God’s Own Heart, equipped to become a strong, godly, masculine leader. We are now convinced that we also need to be coming before the Lord on behalf of all of our sons. Would you join us and say a prayer for their souls?
Micah.
Our strong-willed child.
Our Independent Thinker.
While our first-born was so eager to learn about Jesus, memorize scripture, and beg Jesus to come into his heart so he "wouldn't be a bad guy anymore," our second-born has been a little less enthusiastic. In fact, at age 3, he looked me square-in-the-eye and declared, “I don’t like God and I don’t need Jesus.” He began to refuse to pray during family prayer times. He often disconnected from us in spiritual matters.
Over the past few years I struggled through theological questions regarding Calvinism v. Arminianism and Everything-In-Between. How much of our salvation is based upon our choosing God v. God choosing us? In other words, as a mommy, where did my striving need to be focused: in convincing Micah to choose the Lord, or in begging the Lord to choose my son? Well, of course, we haven’t backed off of the overall goal of Romancing Our Child’s Heart for the Lord but we have commenced a serious campaign of begging the King to save our little boy’s soul!
More than once the prayer heavy on my heart at my women’s prayer group or homeschooling support group has been for Micah’s heart. Some folks have told me not to worry, after all, he is so young! These folks have not seen the resolve in my son’s eyes :). Other sweet friends and grandparents have sensed that there may be something to our intuition and joined my husband and I in praying for God to keep Micah for himself. My childhood best friend (now a missionary in East Africa) vowed to pray often for little Micah (she sees in him a intricate, complex soul much like her own).
Wow, does God answer prayers! I know full well that Micah's walk with the Lord will face many years of ups and downs -- from dark stormy days to days of flourishing Spring, but I cannot help proclaiming what the Lord has done ALREADY in my young man’s heart! I am so stirred that He hears the prayers of my heart – who am I that He should touch me with His Grace?
Over the past year, Micah has shown a new-found interest in Things of God. It started with an Easter movie about the death and resurrection of Christ – his little heart was broken in two that Jesus had to die on the cross! He cried for an hour, leaving two belwildered parents wondering how to lead him to the Throne of Grace! He now swings on his swing and revels in songs of praise to the Lord with the wind brushing against his face as he connects with the Almighty! Several times we have overheard him composing songs of his own to celebrate his Lord, and even during our bedtime prayer will often ask if he can sing his prayer. It seems that nature and things of beauty and grandeur speak right to his heart of the Glory of God.
A few weekends ago our family went camping with several other Believers and had the opportunity to have “church” in the mountains together on Sunday morning. I was struck to the heart to see my little boy with his eyes closed and hands lifted up to the sky, singing to the Lord Most High with love all over his face! The Cherry-on-the-Sundae of this Blessing from Above was the song Micah spontaneously broke into on the drive home from the camping trip:
God is The Powerful One
God is the Powerful One
Most powerful in the world
He’s so nice to me
He takes care of me
He loves me a lot
Oh, He loves me a lot!
He’s so nice
He’s so very nice
I like Him
I like Him because He is most powerful in the world…
And so nice to me!
I will die, but I will stay Alive
I really want to see Him
God is the Powerful One
God is the Strongest One
Who is so nice to me.
God is the one who is so strong
God is so very strong
Even if I die, I will still stay alive
He is my Powerful One
He saved me lots of times
He loves me – even though he knows me,
He likes me a lot!
I furiously jotted down the words as fast as I could, and I know I left out a phrase or two (in fact, he told me the other day I must have left out the words “He is stronger than a worm and a monkey,” but I just can't see where that should be inserted into the song). We are eager to see what the Lord continues to do in Micah’s heart. We will do what we can and what the Lord leads to ensure that Micah is discipled into a Man after God’s Own Heart, equipped to become a strong, godly, masculine leader. We are now convinced that we also need to be coming before the Lord on behalf of all of our sons. Would you join us and say a prayer for their souls?
Sunday, May 01, 2005
Sharing Mr. Kimweli's Final Flight
-----
Letters written December 2004:
-----
Hey Dad!
Do you remember me telling you about a Kenyan man I met on the plane to see Kathy? He reminded me so much of you, he was a professor at a Kentucky university, very political, one of 4 boys, etc. etc. He told me right away the neat story about his elderly father (he was traveling to Kenya for his pop’s funeral). His whole family had accepted Christ years ago, when the Holy Spirit swept through their little village, except for his dad. The brothers prayed and prayed for their dad, to no avail. The dad had 2 major car accidents and one deadly illness – and was pretty much healed from each of these in some neat way, yet still did not turn to Christ. Suddenly, one day, at age 82, for no apparent reason, he gave his heart to the Lord, did a 180 degree change and lived an amazing life for the Lord – for about a year and a half when he then died. I told this Kenyan man, Dr. David Kimweli, that he must have been put on the plane to encourage me to hope for Grandpa Papa again. It went on to be an amazing plane ride, where we prayed and cried together, and had deep deep talks about the Lord – with a real sense of God surrounding us. I really felt like he was my Kenyan “father.” Well, I woke up the other night burdened to pray for his family, did some research on the internet, and lo and behold it turns out he died in a tragic accident that very week I was visiting Kathy. He was probably in the accident the day after I saw him, as the article I read said it happened “returning from his father’s funeral.” He didn’t even get to say good-bye to his wife and kids. So, I decided maybe I was supposed to write to them to tell them how wonderful he was, and how much he said he loved them. I am thinking maybe they are having a super hard time right now, with the holidays?? Anyway, since I reference you in the letter to the Kimwelis, I thought I’d send you a copy too! I hand-wrote the letter and then just typed it here – unfortunately as it is hand-written on beautiful Italian paper that I have no more of I can’t go back and fix the grammar!!!!
Love ya lots!
Debbie
--
Dear Kimweli Family,
I woke up the other night with a strong sense that I was lift up the Kimweli family in prayer. It seemed odd to me, to wake up so burdened for a man I had met on a plane to East Africa months before! The next morning I decided to type in David Kimweli’s name on the internet and was shocked to the bone to discover that he went to be with the Lord only days after I had met him. I am feeling so saddened for you, Joyce, Faith and David. I only knew your husband and father for 7 hours – on a filght from Amsterdam to Dar es Salaam, Tanzania, and yet I wanted to let you know how much he touched my heart in Jesus in that brief time, and how he told me such wonderful things about you all – his beloved family!
I had prayed before my travels that God would orchestrate the people I would sit by on each flight. I am so frightened to fly, and friend encouraged me that God would keep me too busy working for “eternal things” on the flights to be frightened of crashing.
Imagine my surprise when your husband and father began to tell me about Jesus and the work God had done in his father’s heart – before the plane had even taken off! I think we were both a little disappointed, at first, that our co-passenger was not someone who “needed” to learn about Jesus but was already saved :) It ended up being a wonderful flight: we shared testimonies of God’s work in our lives, cried right there on the plane over the goodness of our Lord, and described our wonderful families that the Lord had blessed us with.
The first thing Mr. Kimweli told me was the incredible story of the conversion of his father. You see, the story sounded awfully familiar and gave me hope in what I thought was a hopeless situation. My own father is also one of four sons who all accepted Christ (along with his mother) around the same time. My grandpa, like Mr. Kimweli’s dad, is the stubborn one, holding his heart back from God. My grandpa has even been healed, like Mr. Kimweli’s dad, as the result of God answering the prayers of his sons. Regardless of God’s intervention, my grandpa, now 80, still will not accept Christ. Hearing Mr. Kimweli’s testimony of his dad’s sudden and real conversion, at a ripe old age, filled my eyes with tears and my heart with hope. I told your husband and dad I just KNEW God directed him to sit by me to encourage me (and my father) to hope and pray that God will also win my grandpa’s heart for himself.
Mr. Kimweli, your dear husband and daddy, went on to tell me such wonderful stories about all of you! About your wonderfully romantic story of courtship, Joyce, how you knew each other since childhood and how, like Jacob and Rachel, your husband worked and waited patiently for your hand in marriage. David and Faith, your dad spoke with pride about you both, and mentioned how he feared “letting go,” and wanting so badly for the two of you to follow after Christ with your everything.
Faith, your dad reminded me so much of my own dad. It was so great to talk to him in ways I haven’t talked to my own dad, and it helped me understand my dad better. I really got the sense that your dad wanted to be closer to you, and was unsure how to do that. His love for you was so apparent in his words and face.
I wanted to write you all to tell you my experience with your husband and dad. Near the end of his life, he was trusting the Lord and shining His light. He told me that he was “always ready” to go and be with God, and joked that while up in an airplane he was even more ready! Everything went awry with his flights – he ended up in Dar instead of Nairobi when I last saw him – yet he was still saying, “God must have a reason for this. I will trust Him.” Your dad and husband encouraged me greatly in so many things. He reminded me of God’s sovereignty and helped me not fear death on the plane. He encouraged me that my trip to visit my missionary friend in Dar es Salaam would be used by God. He encouraged me by lifting up my husband, who stayed with our boys and allowed me to go on the trip. He encouraged me in my ministry to my husband and boys – that it is a real ministry not to be taken lightly. And your dad and husband blessed me by how real was the presence of the Holy Spirit in him.
Your husband and dad made an impact on me in just a few hours that will last a lifetime. I am so sorry to hear that he is gone. I imagine, by the short time I knew him, that he impacted many lives – more than most could do in several lifetimes. I saw that he most hoped that he would impact the lives of his son and daughter! I can’t wait to be in heaven someday – with the entire Kimweli family, Praise the Lord! :)
Please know that my heart aches for you, and that I will be lifting you up in prayer.
I pray God’s peace upon you in such a time of sorrow.
Thank you for sharing Mr. Kimweli with me. I know he will be greatly missed by you.
Your sister in Christ,
Debbie
Letters written December 2004:
-----
Hey Dad!
Do you remember me telling you about a Kenyan man I met on the plane to see Kathy? He reminded me so much of you, he was a professor at a Kentucky university, very political, one of 4 boys, etc. etc. He told me right away the neat story about his elderly father (he was traveling to Kenya for his pop’s funeral). His whole family had accepted Christ years ago, when the Holy Spirit swept through their little village, except for his dad. The brothers prayed and prayed for their dad, to no avail. The dad had 2 major car accidents and one deadly illness – and was pretty much healed from each of these in some neat way, yet still did not turn to Christ. Suddenly, one day, at age 82, for no apparent reason, he gave his heart to the Lord, did a 180 degree change and lived an amazing life for the Lord – for about a year and a half when he then died. I told this Kenyan man, Dr. David Kimweli, that he must have been put on the plane to encourage me to hope for Grandpa Papa again. It went on to be an amazing plane ride, where we prayed and cried together, and had deep deep talks about the Lord – with a real sense of God surrounding us. I really felt like he was my Kenyan “father.” Well, I woke up the other night burdened to pray for his family, did some research on the internet, and lo and behold it turns out he died in a tragic accident that very week I was visiting Kathy. He was probably in the accident the day after I saw him, as the article I read said it happened “returning from his father’s funeral.” He didn’t even get to say good-bye to his wife and kids. So, I decided maybe I was supposed to write to them to tell them how wonderful he was, and how much he said he loved them. I am thinking maybe they are having a super hard time right now, with the holidays?? Anyway, since I reference you in the letter to the Kimwelis, I thought I’d send you a copy too! I hand-wrote the letter and then just typed it here – unfortunately as it is hand-written on beautiful Italian paper that I have no more of I can’t go back and fix the grammar!!!!
Love ya lots!
Debbie
--
Dear Kimweli Family,
I woke up the other night with a strong sense that I was lift up the Kimweli family in prayer. It seemed odd to me, to wake up so burdened for a man I had met on a plane to East Africa months before! The next morning I decided to type in David Kimweli’s name on the internet and was shocked to the bone to discover that he went to be with the Lord only days after I had met him. I am feeling so saddened for you, Joyce, Faith and David. I only knew your husband and father for 7 hours – on a filght from Amsterdam to Dar es Salaam, Tanzania, and yet I wanted to let you know how much he touched my heart in Jesus in that brief time, and how he told me such wonderful things about you all – his beloved family!
I had prayed before my travels that God would orchestrate the people I would sit by on each flight. I am so frightened to fly, and friend encouraged me that God would keep me too busy working for “eternal things” on the flights to be frightened of crashing.
Imagine my surprise when your husband and father began to tell me about Jesus and the work God had done in his father’s heart – before the plane had even taken off! I think we were both a little disappointed, at first, that our co-passenger was not someone who “needed” to learn about Jesus but was already saved :) It ended up being a wonderful flight: we shared testimonies of God’s work in our lives, cried right there on the plane over the goodness of our Lord, and described our wonderful families that the Lord had blessed us with.
The first thing Mr. Kimweli told me was the incredible story of the conversion of his father. You see, the story sounded awfully familiar and gave me hope in what I thought was a hopeless situation. My own father is also one of four sons who all accepted Christ (along with his mother) around the same time. My grandpa, like Mr. Kimweli’s dad, is the stubborn one, holding his heart back from God. My grandpa has even been healed, like Mr. Kimweli’s dad, as the result of God answering the prayers of his sons. Regardless of God’s intervention, my grandpa, now 80, still will not accept Christ. Hearing Mr. Kimweli’s testimony of his dad’s sudden and real conversion, at a ripe old age, filled my eyes with tears and my heart with hope. I told your husband and dad I just KNEW God directed him to sit by me to encourage me (and my father) to hope and pray that God will also win my grandpa’s heart for himself.
Mr. Kimweli, your dear husband and daddy, went on to tell me such wonderful stories about all of you! About your wonderfully romantic story of courtship, Joyce, how you knew each other since childhood and how, like Jacob and Rachel, your husband worked and waited patiently for your hand in marriage. David and Faith, your dad spoke with pride about you both, and mentioned how he feared “letting go,” and wanting so badly for the two of you to follow after Christ with your everything.
Faith, your dad reminded me so much of my own dad. It was so great to talk to him in ways I haven’t talked to my own dad, and it helped me understand my dad better. I really got the sense that your dad wanted to be closer to you, and was unsure how to do that. His love for you was so apparent in his words and face.
I wanted to write you all to tell you my experience with your husband and dad. Near the end of his life, he was trusting the Lord and shining His light. He told me that he was “always ready” to go and be with God, and joked that while up in an airplane he was even more ready! Everything went awry with his flights – he ended up in Dar instead of Nairobi when I last saw him – yet he was still saying, “God must have a reason for this. I will trust Him.” Your dad and husband encouraged me greatly in so many things. He reminded me of God’s sovereignty and helped me not fear death on the plane. He encouraged me that my trip to visit my missionary friend in Dar es Salaam would be used by God. He encouraged me by lifting up my husband, who stayed with our boys and allowed me to go on the trip. He encouraged me in my ministry to my husband and boys – that it is a real ministry not to be taken lightly. And your dad and husband blessed me by how real was the presence of the Holy Spirit in him.
Your husband and dad made an impact on me in just a few hours that will last a lifetime. I am so sorry to hear that he is gone. I imagine, by the short time I knew him, that he impacted many lives – more than most could do in several lifetimes. I saw that he most hoped that he would impact the lives of his son and daughter! I can’t wait to be in heaven someday – with the entire Kimweli family, Praise the Lord! :)
Please know that my heart aches for you, and that I will be lifting you up in prayer.
I pray God’s peace upon you in such a time of sorrow.
Thank you for sharing Mr. Kimweli with me. I know he will be greatly missed by you.
Your sister in Christ,
Debbie
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Getting Personal
----
I wonder, if you came across the following ad in your local newspaper, how would you respond?
Younger Woman Seeks Older Woman -- for friendship,
discipleship, and real-life mentoring.
This Older woman must be willing to teach a younger woman,
through friendship and example: how to love her husband
and children, how to be sensible, pure, kind, focused on her
home-ministry, and submissive to her own husband.
Qualified candidate will demonstrate an overall reverence
in her day-to-day living, being not inclined toward gossip or
over-indulgence.
The particulars of her own husband-loving, child-raising, and
personal character development are not nearly as important
as her heart of dedication to the Lord and her family.
Please apply soon with any eager-to-learn Younger Woman, found in abundance at local churches and neighborhoods.
Believe it or not, this personal ad can be found in any Holy Bible, Titus 2:3-5!
Young women are desperate for spiritual mothers and older sisters. We are desperate to hear the counter-culture message that our ministry occurs best in and through our homes, and that loving our husbands and children is a high calling. Older women, come out of hiding, out of busyness, out of over-working, out of too much churchwork -- and hear our cries! Your friendship and leadership is much coveted.
I wonder, if you came across the following ad in your local newspaper, how would you respond?
Younger Woman Seeks Older Woman -- for friendship,
discipleship, and real-life mentoring.
This Older woman must be willing to teach a younger woman,
through friendship and example: how to love her husband
and children, how to be sensible, pure, kind, focused on her
home-ministry, and submissive to her own husband.
Qualified candidate will demonstrate an overall reverence
in her day-to-day living, being not inclined toward gossip or
over-indulgence.
The particulars of her own husband-loving, child-raising, and
personal character development are not nearly as important
as her heart of dedication to the Lord and her family.
Please apply soon with any eager-to-learn Younger Woman, found in abundance at local churches and neighborhoods.
Believe it or not, this personal ad can be found in any Holy Bible, Titus 2:3-5!
Young women are desperate for spiritual mothers and older sisters. We are desperate to hear the counter-culture message that our ministry occurs best in and through our homes, and that loving our husbands and children is a high calling. Older women, come out of hiding, out of busyness, out of over-working, out of too much churchwork -- and hear our cries! Your friendship and leadership is much coveted.
To VBS or not to VBS: This is my Anguish!
---
Hi Lord!
I have so many things weighing heavily on my mind. Sometimes I wonder why you gave me such a strong mind, one that thinks and thinks and thinks. My strong conscience does not help – once something appears wrong to me – or even if something else simply appears “better,” I cannot put away the thoughts that drew me to the conclusion but am instead forced to act upon them! Oh, but I do thank you for these gifts. They do make life harder, but much more interesting.
Right now it is VBS soaring through the brainwaves. You know that I have struggled with VBS thoughts since last year. I was really pressed – by Your Spirit, I believe – to see how so many of us church women were acting like Marthas last year. It was almost impossible not to be a Martha, and yet my soul felt broken in two for it. My heart yearns to be a Mary! And I yearn to bring a throng of Marys with me, rejoicing at your feet and waiting for the next words from your mouth!
I just feel so obligated to help out with VBS. Why? Because it is a major church event. Because Everymom who is Anymom helps out – of course! Yet You started stirring within me feelings that VBS may not be for us, at least for now. Do you know how hard this is on me? To be different? To look like I am not Your servant? To look selfish and unhelpful? Lord, I will look like a flake. A Flake!!
Yet, if I do not listen to your still small voice, and the principles you keep knocking me over the head with, then I will really be a flake – even if to the rest of the church I do not look like one.
I have always thought of VBS as an outreach to the neighborhood, unchurched kids, and indeed, Lord, I praise you forevermore for any of the souls that You have reached through VBS. And, Lord, how I do love to share your Good News, especially with little people who have never heard of Your Grace! The fact remains that the majority of the children in VBS are churched kids, who should already be well-versed in the Gospel. Aren’t there more effective alternatives to reach the few unchurched kids that do go to VBS? Perhaps having them over for dinner, meeting physical and emotional needs of their families, or letting our well-versed young ones directly share their faith? And these options sound so hassle and hectic-atmosphere free! I feel that we in the Body of Christ tend to see getting the unsaved through the doors of the church building as the best way to evangelize. Lord, you are showing me that this is not the case, but that instead you want to use our very lives to reach others. I am so moved by the way Jesus “did” evangelism. Lord, that you would remind us in Your Body that we are not professionals, that we do not need to copy the ways of the world, but that we can imitate Jesus Christ and win souls exceedingly well – with a lot less overhead!
And the amount of work that it takes to put on VBS at a big church! VBS is an impressive, well-oiled machine -- with hours and hours of blood, sweat and prep work poured into it. Mostly by mommas who give up hours of time with their families to get ready for the VBS week, and possibly give up hours of time they should be using to disciple younger women or reach out to neighbors who need your love. The moms look tired and spent and overwhelmed to me. I want to yell to them, “Come to Him you who are weary and heavy-laden, and He will give you rest! His yoke is easy, and His burden is light!” Is Marthadom inescapable, or is there a better way?
Lord, I spend so much of the year orchestrating our lives so that the boys will grow in closeness to each other, learning to serve the very people who annoy them the most (good preparation for marriage, I say!), and VBS is another thing that separates them from each other, and from Ron and me. The exciting experience of VBS becomes a self-centered memory, instead of a family calling. And this would not be such a big deal -- it is, after all, only one week a year -- except that at every turn in our society we are faced with the dissolution of family! Lord, why is your Body insisting on joining in with this pulling apart? Shouldn’t we be the ones who help restore relationships within families, especially at a time when relationships are so strained? While pondering VBS these past few months, I have thought often of the things that drew us away from segregated Sunday School for the time-being: the creation of a generation gap that should not exist, the entertainment-style of kids’ programming, the fostering of self-centered views of church life (what’s in it for me?), the teacher-led passive-style learning, the preeminence of women leaders and the absence of males.
I do thank you that there are so many men at my church who take the time off of work to volunteer this week, but Lord, there simply aren’t enough. It bothers me so that our kids grow up seeing church, especially ministry to children, as woman’s work. Thank you, Lord, for women that want to serve you. But, Lord, it is the fathers that you have called to spiritually nurture their children. It is the fathers who will make the biggest difference for generations to come. The Hebrew model you have provided in scripture shows us relational discipleship where Daddy was the chief delivery system for Truth. VBS does not help us parents bring into the lives of our children godly men whom they can be inspired by and emulate – even the wonderful men who are involved are pretty busy with programming aspects and cannot build relationships with children.
You’ve really changed my mind about the way children learn. I do believe now that people in general learn much better through relationships than through programs or classroom situations. My kids have always had a blast at VBS, but at least at their young ages VBS has not pushed them to grow in their walks with You. Lord, I feel overwhelmingly called to bring others, including my children, into maturity in You. It seems strange to busy myself with something that doesn’t jive with the mission you have written in my heart.
Oh, and I do feel so badly for the children who have just had to endure 180 days of regular school. Lord, to be led from activity to activity with no time to sit under the stars, or in the wildflowers, or at the river – wondering in the beauty of your nature! To live a rushed life, to not have the time to be a child and sit on mom’s lap to read, to leisurely paint a picture, to imagine with siblings. It seems so silly to subject these kids to another week of crafts and singings and stories and activities – in the name of Christ. Lord, how I long to bring children who have never heard of you into your presence by way of nature! The heavens declare your glory, much better than Oriental Trading Company!
I know you are callings us to lives with Margin, and I feel as though VBS is the antithesis to Margin. How can we have margin in our lives while being completely overloaded, even though what we are doing is “good?” If a neighbor stops by, needing a shoulder to cry on, is it righteous of me to say I am indeed too busy with my ministry? Lord, I want to be available for Divine Appointments. Help me to commit ONLY to the things which you have pre-ordained for my good and Your glory, that I may walk confidently seeking Your leading and seeing Your hand.
You want more than than sacrifice from me, don’t you? You want obedience. To obey is better than sacrifice! In some ways I am annoyed with this (as if I have the right!). It is a sacrifice to work at VBS: a sacrifice I will receive honor from and can share in with my gal comrades; a sacrifice that would actually show up on a church Report Card. Yet, Lord, you are calling me to obey, not simply sacrifice. I realize that in obeying you, truly living for you, I will sacrifice much, much more than what VBS would take. You want me to be ready for ministry 24/7, ready to sacrifice at the drop of a hat. Yet, Lord this burden is light because you will provide exactly what I need each step of the way, and the Joy that you will pour upon me for obeying you will flood my soul, and I will bring Glory to your name.
I ask you to help me do this humbly, without a hint of self-righteousness – ouch! I ask you to give me wisdom in talking to others about this decision, that I would only say what You want when You want it said. That my words would be used only for edification, not for tearing down. If you are really calling me to be different in this way, one thing I ask is that you let me sow seeds of love and unity and not seeds of discord in the so-doing. Please, Lord, guide me each step of the way. This is a big thing for me, for I am a silly girl. Thank you for loving me, thank you for leading me, thank you for putting up with me. I want to live for you. No matter what that means.
Your Daughter,
Deborah
Hi Lord!
I have so many things weighing heavily on my mind. Sometimes I wonder why you gave me such a strong mind, one that thinks and thinks and thinks. My strong conscience does not help – once something appears wrong to me – or even if something else simply appears “better,” I cannot put away the thoughts that drew me to the conclusion but am instead forced to act upon them! Oh, but I do thank you for these gifts. They do make life harder, but much more interesting.
Right now it is VBS soaring through the brainwaves. You know that I have struggled with VBS thoughts since last year. I was really pressed – by Your Spirit, I believe – to see how so many of us church women were acting like Marthas last year. It was almost impossible not to be a Martha, and yet my soul felt broken in two for it. My heart yearns to be a Mary! And I yearn to bring a throng of Marys with me, rejoicing at your feet and waiting for the next words from your mouth!
I just feel so obligated to help out with VBS. Why? Because it is a major church event. Because Everymom who is Anymom helps out – of course! Yet You started stirring within me feelings that VBS may not be for us, at least for now. Do you know how hard this is on me? To be different? To look like I am not Your servant? To look selfish and unhelpful? Lord, I will look like a flake. A Flake!!
Yet, if I do not listen to your still small voice, and the principles you keep knocking me over the head with, then I will really be a flake – even if to the rest of the church I do not look like one.
I have always thought of VBS as an outreach to the neighborhood, unchurched kids, and indeed, Lord, I praise you forevermore for any of the souls that You have reached through VBS. And, Lord, how I do love to share your Good News, especially with little people who have never heard of Your Grace! The fact remains that the majority of the children in VBS are churched kids, who should already be well-versed in the Gospel. Aren’t there more effective alternatives to reach the few unchurched kids that do go to VBS? Perhaps having them over for dinner, meeting physical and emotional needs of their families, or letting our well-versed young ones directly share their faith? And these options sound so hassle and hectic-atmosphere free! I feel that we in the Body of Christ tend to see getting the unsaved through the doors of the church building as the best way to evangelize. Lord, you are showing me that this is not the case, but that instead you want to use our very lives to reach others. I am so moved by the way Jesus “did” evangelism. Lord, that you would remind us in Your Body that we are not professionals, that we do not need to copy the ways of the world, but that we can imitate Jesus Christ and win souls exceedingly well – with a lot less overhead!
And the amount of work that it takes to put on VBS at a big church! VBS is an impressive, well-oiled machine -- with hours and hours of blood, sweat and prep work poured into it. Mostly by mommas who give up hours of time with their families to get ready for the VBS week, and possibly give up hours of time they should be using to disciple younger women or reach out to neighbors who need your love. The moms look tired and spent and overwhelmed to me. I want to yell to them, “Come to Him you who are weary and heavy-laden, and He will give you rest! His yoke is easy, and His burden is light!” Is Marthadom inescapable, or is there a better way?
Lord, I spend so much of the year orchestrating our lives so that the boys will grow in closeness to each other, learning to serve the very people who annoy them the most (good preparation for marriage, I say!), and VBS is another thing that separates them from each other, and from Ron and me. The exciting experience of VBS becomes a self-centered memory, instead of a family calling. And this would not be such a big deal -- it is, after all, only one week a year -- except that at every turn in our society we are faced with the dissolution of family! Lord, why is your Body insisting on joining in with this pulling apart? Shouldn’t we be the ones who help restore relationships within families, especially at a time when relationships are so strained? While pondering VBS these past few months, I have thought often of the things that drew us away from segregated Sunday School for the time-being: the creation of a generation gap that should not exist, the entertainment-style of kids’ programming, the fostering of self-centered views of church life (what’s in it for me?), the teacher-led passive-style learning, the preeminence of women leaders and the absence of males.
I do thank you that there are so many men at my church who take the time off of work to volunteer this week, but Lord, there simply aren’t enough. It bothers me so that our kids grow up seeing church, especially ministry to children, as woman’s work. Thank you, Lord, for women that want to serve you. But, Lord, it is the fathers that you have called to spiritually nurture their children. It is the fathers who will make the biggest difference for generations to come. The Hebrew model you have provided in scripture shows us relational discipleship where Daddy was the chief delivery system for Truth. VBS does not help us parents bring into the lives of our children godly men whom they can be inspired by and emulate – even the wonderful men who are involved are pretty busy with programming aspects and cannot build relationships with children.
You’ve really changed my mind about the way children learn. I do believe now that people in general learn much better through relationships than through programs or classroom situations. My kids have always had a blast at VBS, but at least at their young ages VBS has not pushed them to grow in their walks with You. Lord, I feel overwhelmingly called to bring others, including my children, into maturity in You. It seems strange to busy myself with something that doesn’t jive with the mission you have written in my heart.
Oh, and I do feel so badly for the children who have just had to endure 180 days of regular school. Lord, to be led from activity to activity with no time to sit under the stars, or in the wildflowers, or at the river – wondering in the beauty of your nature! To live a rushed life, to not have the time to be a child and sit on mom’s lap to read, to leisurely paint a picture, to imagine with siblings. It seems so silly to subject these kids to another week of crafts and singings and stories and activities – in the name of Christ. Lord, how I long to bring children who have never heard of you into your presence by way of nature! The heavens declare your glory, much better than Oriental Trading Company!
I know you are callings us to lives with Margin, and I feel as though VBS is the antithesis to Margin. How can we have margin in our lives while being completely overloaded, even though what we are doing is “good?” If a neighbor stops by, needing a shoulder to cry on, is it righteous of me to say I am indeed too busy with my ministry? Lord, I want to be available for Divine Appointments. Help me to commit ONLY to the things which you have pre-ordained for my good and Your glory, that I may walk confidently seeking Your leading and seeing Your hand.
You want more than than sacrifice from me, don’t you? You want obedience. To obey is better than sacrifice! In some ways I am annoyed with this (as if I have the right!). It is a sacrifice to work at VBS: a sacrifice I will receive honor from and can share in with my gal comrades; a sacrifice that would actually show up on a church Report Card. Yet, Lord, you are calling me to obey, not simply sacrifice. I realize that in obeying you, truly living for you, I will sacrifice much, much more than what VBS would take. You want me to be ready for ministry 24/7, ready to sacrifice at the drop of a hat. Yet, Lord this burden is light because you will provide exactly what I need each step of the way, and the Joy that you will pour upon me for obeying you will flood my soul, and I will bring Glory to your name.
I ask you to help me do this humbly, without a hint of self-righteousness – ouch! I ask you to give me wisdom in talking to others about this decision, that I would only say what You want when You want it said. That my words would be used only for edification, not for tearing down. If you are really calling me to be different in this way, one thing I ask is that you let me sow seeds of love and unity and not seeds of discord in the so-doing. Please, Lord, guide me each step of the way. This is a big thing for me, for I am a silly girl. Thank you for loving me, thank you for leading me, thank you for putting up with me. I want to live for you. No matter what that means.
Your Daughter,
Deborah
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