Christian the Blogger Man's Blog

My 7 year old son has joined the blog craze.
Stop on over and visit his blog and say HI!

Loving Your Brother

When I was pregnant with my second son, visions of two brothers deeply in love with each other danced in my head. When I shared my hopes and dreams, people scoffed! I was really taken aback by many reactions, "That'll never happen!" "Siblings are supposed to hate each other!" "Dream on!"
I will be the first to admit a Pollyannaesque worldview. If the glass isn't half-full, then let's do something about that, eh? I also have a bit of a rebellious spirit. If someone tells me something cannot be done, I'm going to try that much harder to ensure that it will.
My boys have not been AS in love with each other as I hoped. But then if they were born mature, what would they need parents for? (And if I didn't have children, would I be forced into maturity as quickly as I ought to be?)
Our 3 sons do cherish each other deeply. They truly are best friends. Sometimes while we are out shopping, I notice them holding hands (but I NEVER point it out, for then they might stop -- if anyone teases them about this you will forever be on my blacklist). They make each other cards or homemade board games when they are sick. They often bring each other snacks or glasses of water when they stop to get something for themselves. More often than not, after tucking them each into their own beds, we will peek in on them to find all three of them snuggled together under one blanket.
I feel that home schooling has been another surprise answer to prayer. Close family relationships were the desire of my heart -- I had no idea that home schooling would be one of the vehicles God would use to grant us this desire. The boys spending more time together during the day, and being on the same family team -- not running off on their own individual tangents all the time --has produced amazing friendships. I feel blessed that God "talked us into" home schooling and then astonished us with so many extra benefits!
God has been kind enough to their dad and me to give us a foretaste of this desire of our hearts. So far, it seems that the Lord has clued us in when the friendships start slipping -- which inevitably happens every once in a while. We had one little neighbor boy who used to spend a lot of time in our house, and he really was quite destructive to the brothers' relationship. We prayed about what to do, and God asked me to play with the group of boys when the neighbor boy was over (which they actually seemed to enjoy, not to mention I had a bit of fun myself!) and this helped much. Not long after that, the little boy moved away, and I breathed a sigh of relief.
The last few weeks have shown a bit more bickering and jealousy in the house. I have been so busy with Christmas and reading other people's blogs that I have chosen to turn a blind eye to much of it. A lot more derogatory words have been exchanged from the olders to the youngers. And as for our youngest, we haven't held as high standards for him as we should have. He is the one to show favoritism and try to play one older brother against the other. His brothers have been too kind to him, letting him be the Prince of the House.
I just read a cute post on Making Your Kids Love Each Other. Such good ideas!
How thankful I am that God's mercies are new every morning. I am inspired to wake up tomorrow morning and help my littles love on each other more and more. I am inspired to get myself back on the family team and not be off doing my own thing for much of the day.
Back to loving God, and loving others -- this is where I want to go. And everything else will fall into place...
Lord God, will you guide Ron and I in helping our children love each other? Do not let us tolerate ugly words amongst them. Help us to teach them biblical ways of dealing with conflict, and biblical ways of loving the unloveable. Help us to love them and enjoy them while we discipline and disciple them. Thank you that You are such an enjoyable God! May we learn to feast on You and share You with the little ones you have loaned to us. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

A Family Tradition

Our little boys were pleasured to spend 2 evenings out of town this Christmas Vacation at their Nana's home. Unfortunately, our eldest son, Christian, came down with a cold while visiting. Nana remarked to him, "I can tell you are getting sick because you have dark circles under your eyes."
He replied, "Oh, no. In my house, those are a family tradition."

Out of the mouth of babes :)

Which Theologian Are You?

You scored as Anselm. Anselm is the outstanding theologian of the medieval period.He sees man's primary problem as having failed to render unto God what we owe him, so God becomes man in Christ and gives God what he is due. You should read 'Cur Deus Homo?'

Anselm		100%
John Calvin		87%
Karl Barth		87%
Friedrich Schleiermacher		80%
J?Moltmann		80%
Jonathan Edwards		73%
Martin Luther		67%
Paul Tillich		33%
Charles Finney		27%
Augustine		20%

Which theologian are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

Pretty neat quiz. I needed clarification on a few of the questions, so I'm not certain I answered according to the depths of my soul. Try it! Which theologian are YOU?

That's My Boy

The Lord saw fit to bless our home with three children of the masculine persuasion.
By our third son, I sat up and took notice that I had more than a few things to learn. Growing up with only one sister left me with not much knowledge of these man-types. Don't get me wrong, I've always been crazy about males, but only if they were wrapped around my little finger. And truth be told, for years I held the secret (or not-so-secret at times) belief that women and girls were, uh, better than men and boys. Yep, its true. Thought we were smarter, and thought we were better because of our knack of multi-tasking, having more apparent depth of emotion, and not struggling as much as men with sexual sins.
Funny how circumstances often bring us to paradigm-shifts. The more I researched boys -- the way they learn, the way they play, the way they interact, the way they fight, they way they learn to follow (or don't learn to follow) God -- the more I fell in love with the way they are. I like to think that I have graduated to the higher status in life of Boy Advocate.
Boys are GREAT! Men are GREAT!
And boys are Future Men.
It is amazing to me that God had the idea of making men and women so different from one another, and now I am mature enough to thank Him for this (instead of asking him why men weren't more like women).
What a joy it is to have sons. Boys are simple and forthright. Boys hardly ever hold grudges. If they are mad at a brother or friend -- even if the disagreement escalates to a physical scuffle, once the fight is done, its done. We don't have to try to hard to psycho-analyze a boy -- he puts it all right out there for us. Being competitve is not a sin, and it is possible to teach a boy how to win and lose gracefully. Boys learn by seeing that they can use their knowledge to make a difference in the world -- receiving little "good job" smiley-face stickers doesn't cut it for motivating boys. They need to feel the strength and profundity of acquired knowledge. Boys grow up to be fathers, the single most important person in each of our childhoods (whether your father was present or absent, godly or unkind, his importance is not diminished -- though the blessings may have been). Boys grow up to be leaders -- of their families, churches, businesses, and societies. A focused man (one that isn't good at multi-tasking, remember?) has the strength and fortitude to make a huge dent in our society. Imagine that focused man "seeking first the Kingdom of God." What a difference he can make, and what an adventure he can enjoy while doing it!
And boys and mothers, oh my. I don't think I will ever tire of having several males who pick flowers for me and play with my hair and tell me I'm beautiful. This love and affection alone makes any pee on the toilet seat worth it.
I am in Boy Heaven.

Some great books on boys:
Future Men by Douglas Wilson
Raising A Modern-Day Knight
King Me by Steve Farrar
Bringing Up Boys by James Dobson

Some good books about and/or for men:
The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Laura
Created to Be His Help-Meet by Debi Pearl
Reforming Marriage by Douglas Wilson
Wild at Heart by John Eldredge
Family Man, Family Leader by Phillip Lancaster
A Father's Stew by Stephen Beck
Point Man by Steve Farrar
No More Christian Nice Guy by Paul Coughlin (highly recommended by a friend, we haven't read this yet)

Are We Crunchy Cons?

As soon as it could be official, my political party of choice has been "Decline to State."

Actually, that's not true. At 18, I signed up to be an American Independent, until my dad informed me this was an actual political party with whose ideals I may not confer (I thought I was checking the "Independent" box to let people know I was free to be me - LOL).

Well, I just may have found a new box to check!

Hmmm.

I'm not Republican. I'm not a Democrat.

Maybe I'm a Crunchy Con.

I came across the Pilgrim Not Wanderer blog late last night in a fit of insomnia. He had an interesting post about a book coming out next year entitled:
Crunchy Cons: How Birkenstocked Burkeans, gun-loving organic gardeners, evangelical free-range farmers, hip homeschooling mamas, right-wing nature lovers, and their diverse tribe of countercultural conservatives plan to save America (or at least the Republican Party).

From Pilgrim's blog:

A Crunchy Con Manifesto

1. We are conservatives who stand outside the conservative mainstream; therefore, we can see things that matter more clearly.

2. Modern conservatism has become too focused on money, power, and the accumulation of stuff, and insufficiently concerned with the content of our individual and social character.

3. Big business deserves as much skepticism as big government.

4. Culture is more important than politics and economics.

5. A conservatism that does not practice restraint, humility, and good stewardship - especially of the natural world - is not fundamentally conservative.

6. Small, Local, Old, and Particular are almost always better than Big, Global, New, and Abstract.

7. Beauty is more important than efficiency.

8. The relentlessness of media-driven pop culture deadens our senses to authentic truth, beauty, and wisdom.

9. We share Russell Kirk's conviction that 'the institution most essential to conserve is the family.'

Pilgrim wasn't sure if the book fits him -- but it looks quite promising for us.

I can't wait to get my hands on it and find out.

Even the front cover photo of the hippie-mobile VW Van decked out with an elephant decal strikes something inside me.

The book doesn't come out until next February... I'll let ya know what I think as soon as I can read it!

Quality Blogs to Check Out

The Old Schoolhouse is accepting votes for Blog Awards. I went there to vote for my very favorite inspirational blog -- Holy Experience -- and ended up discovering on several other neat blogs. Thought I'd spread the good cheer, inspiration, and deep thoughts! I definitely don't have the time to be reading these all by myself. In fact, I put the kids in front of a very short movie -- Max Lucado's The Crippled Lamb, and was supposed to be washing my hair! Well, I may still have dirty hair when the movie ends, but I'll be in a really good mood :)
Oh, and one of the dad's blogs had a link to The Chronicles of Narnia Rap -- one that I am embarrassed to admit I was awake for and watching last Saturday Night Live!

Postmodernism and Os Guinness

I have spent a bit of time this weekend researching Postmodernism and The Emerging Church . Cleaning out our "office" closet tonight, I came across an article I had printed out months ago that held fresh meaning for me tonight. Calling, Postmodernism, and Chastened Liberals is a Mars Hill interview with Os Guinness.
A few excerpts for your consideration:

MHR: What has silenced the church? What keeps us from responding to this opportunity?

OG: There are a great number of factors. Many conservatives have lost their genuine passion to reach outside of themselves. They're now immersed in a political-cultural warring mode, which attacks people rather than tries to win them.

I also think the American church has an underlying insecurity. The larger culture is disintegrating-and yet, rather than having an incredible confidence in the truth of the gospel in a time of cultural disintegration, Christians sense that it's all over for the church and the gospel.

There are many other reasons we're not responding to this incredible opportunity we have evangelistically and aplogetically. But, in any case, we're not exploiting it.
---

MHR: You mentioned that some of the grand philosophies are failing, such as postmodernism. Would you say the gospel has relevance only outside of postmodernism, or could it have relevance within as well?

OG: I think the gospel has relevance both outside and inside. Both modernism and postmodernism give tremendous opportunity to the gospel, and both provide deadly challenges to the gospel as well.

Modernism, to its credit, had a very strong sense of truth, and a strong sense of the importance of truth and reason. Modernists may have thought the Christian faith was untrue or simply a bad faith, but at least they would discuss it.

Postmodernism is more welcoming. The postmodern attitude is, "You come from where you come from," so that more positions are level on the playing field. Yet, this perspective is built on a radical relativism that, at the end of the day, destroys everything.

I think a good apologetic based on scripture should be flexible enough and creative enough to survive and thrive in any situation. I don't agree with those who see postmodernism as either radically dangerous in some extraordinarily novel way, or as a great advantage. The important thing is that we must speak from a position of our faith.
---

MHR: There are many definitions of postmodernism. What is the definition from which you're speaking?

OG: A key to remember is that postmodernism is not postmodernity. Many evangelicals make the mistake of thinking that if we are postmodern-which we are-then we must be living "after modernity."

On the contrary, postmodernism is a set of ideas which follows the collapse of modernism, not modernity. If you define modernism as the ideas that are part of what is sometimes called the Enlightenment project-the ideas that have flourished from the Enlightenment until today-then those ideas have collapsed. Modernity, on the other hand, is not just as a set of ideas, but is based on great structural revolutions, such as capitalism, industrialized technology, and modern telecommunication. And although modernism may have collapsed-the belief in truth, reason, progress, science-modernity is actually at its high noon.

In simple terms, postmodernism is a set of ideas that is flourishing at the high noon of modernity. Yet because many evangelicals have confused modernity and modernism, some think that because we are postmodern we've waved the wand and gotten rid of modernity.

Quite the contrary is true. The challenge of modernity is stronger than ever. There is no foreseeable means of dismantling modernity, short of the Lord's return or a nuclear disaster of unimaginable proportions.

If we in the west think we can give up modernity, then the Asians would be only too happy to take over. In other words, modernity will not simply be rolled back or dismantled anytime soon. Postmodernism is just a western phenomenon within the overall context of modernity.
----

MHR: Is it your prediction that postmodernism will fade?

OG: I don't believe postmodernism can last, because it is essentially negative. You couldn't build a family, sustain a university, or run a country on postmodern ideas for very long. Let me suggest an example.

At the moment, one of the Christian claims that seems embarrassing is the claim to truth. If you claim anything close to absolute truth on a modern campus, you are seen as Neanderthal, obscene, politically incorrect. A kind of "brave new world" feeling is prevalent, in which people are saying that truth is dead, following Nietzsche's thought-and that if truth is dead, then knowledge is simply power. The underlying idea is that if you simply understand the gender, race, or class of the person who makes the claim to truth, you will then discover the real bid, which is the bid for power. Everything is reduced to the role of power.

At first that sounds very brave, as you unmask and demystify. But it is an absolute myth. When all is said and done, if knowledge is only power, and if truth is dead, then everything is left to manipulation.

Many people are starting to recognize this problem. For example, how many western liberals admire Vaclav Havel and his role in the Czech revolution? The Czech revolution maxim was, "Truth prevails for those who live in truth." That's actually very close to the scriptures. Havel's point was that in facing a Marxist regime-an empire built on lies-there were only two ways to overcome it. One was by being strong, which, of course, the dissidents weren't. The other way was to live in truth: "Truth prevails to those who live in truth."

What fascinates me is the vast number of western liberals who admire that thought deeply-and rightly so-but who don't have a view of truth upon which they could do the same thing. And if you follow that line of argument around, you come back to Jesus' words: "You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

Whether it happens on the level of interpersonal relationships, or in the realm of grand political things, people are casually giving up truth today with the "brave new idea" that knowledge is power and truth is dead. And, ironically, what looks like a great embarrassment-the Christian claim to truth-is actually one of our great trump cards. I think it soon will be seen to be so.

MHR: Soon?

OG: Marxism, for all its tyranny and technology, lasted only seventy-four years. That is a mere blinking of the eye in terms of history. Modern choice and change are coming so fast that the shelf-life of idols is very brief. I don't think postmodernism will be around in ten years' time.
----

MHR: At present, is the church making a mistake by trying to understand the gospel's relevance to postmodernism?

OG: No. You must understand that the gospel has relevance to everything while it's in vogue. But those who try to adapt too much will be washed up when the next thing comes along.

For two hundred years, that has been the mistake of liberalism-following Frederich Schleiermacher-in trying to reach a culture that despises the gospel. Liberals have joined the culture and stayed there.

Today, there is a near equivalent within evangelicalism, in the name of reaching the unchurched for the sake of relevance. The trouble is that the church often has adapted too much. Much of evangelicalism is every bit as liberal as liberalism. One could easily make the argument that evangelicalism is the worldliest tradition of the modern church.

I know liberals who describe themselves as chastened liberals. They chased every idea in the sixties, whether the idea was politics, therapy, or whatever. And they adapted the gospel to every one of those and sold out. Today they are amazed not that they were chastened by all those events, but that they see evangelicals doing the same things in the nineties.

Birth Control in the Bible????

Soooooooo....I left a comment over on my brother-in-law's blog that said:
This past year has been an eye opener for me in actually reading the Bible and choosing to believe what it says -- even on such ideas as birth control!
A friend of mine emailed that people will wonder what the heck I meant, and possibly think I meant something I did not. In case any of Miroslav's readers are so shocked and dismayed that they click over to my blog to see what kind of freak show is going on over here, I thought I'd clarify my thoughts on birth control.
Birth Control is NOT mentioned in the Bible. Look it up in a concordance, you won't find it. However children are mentioned in scripture, lots of times, and our attitudes toward them are prescribed there for us as well. It is a new heart toward children -- which the Lord has given me through the process of reading scripture -- which has given me a new view of birth control. We used to go right along with the "children are a burden" philosophy, always looking for chances to have "breaks" from them, and dreaming about the things we could accomplish once they were grown and out of the house!
(The amazing thing has been watching God work in my husband's heart over the years. He has really changed his viewpoint on children. I have recently had the chance to watch Hubby explain to many people his thoughts about his vasectomy-reversal, and I have to wonder if this is the same man I married! Wow! I loved him when we got married, and I loved him when he got the vasectomy, but how my heart goes "pitter-patter, boom! boom! boom!" for him every time I see him look to God for answers to questions in our lives -- and then respond with appropriate action. A man of integrity!)
I think Douglas Wilson, author of Reforming Marriage, says it best. From the end of Chapter 8:
In one sense, the fact that birth control is an issue in the church again is a good sign. No longer are Christians automatically assuming that a practice which is widespread in the world must be legitimate. At the same time, just because multitudes of non-Christians are doing something does not automatically make it unlawful either. So how are we to approach the question?
The first step is to see if the Bible teaches directly on the subject. And at this level, it is clear that certain forms of birth control are expressly prohibited in Scripture. Beginning with the most obvious, we may exclude infanticide and abortion. The Bible excludes all such practices in the most direct way possible -- "Thou shall not kill." What many may not realize is that this commandment also excludes certain birth control devices, such as "morning after pills" or the IUD. These are devices which prevent the implantation of a fertilized egg. Consequently, they are unlawfully taking a human life after it has begun.
But what about other birth control devices? Does the Bible say anything about the lawfulness of a husband and wife limiting the number of children they have or spacing them? The answer is both yes and no. There is nothing in Scripture itself that says the act of using birth control is unlawful in itself. At the same time, most birth control as practiced today is sinful in its motivation and application. To understand this, we have to look at a related subject first.
While the Bible says nothing about birth control, as stated earlier, it teaches much about children and family. So before we can ask whether the practice of birth control is lawful, we have to ask whether or not it springs from an understanding of, and submission to, the Bible's teaching on the family. And because situations vary, sometimes it does and much of the time it does not.
Let us start with an example of a situation where the use of birth control would not be godly. Suppose a couple is thinking this way: "You know, kids are a hassle, both are careers are going well right now, the world is really overpopulated, and besides, we can always go off the pill later." Nothing is more apparent than the fact that this couple has been drinking in worldly assumptions from a fire hose.
Now a counter-example: "The Lord has graciously given us six children, and they are all a delight to us. But we have recently been thinking about using birth control because it is getting harder and harder to provide them with the care the Bible requires. We are starting to have trouble feeding them all -- and the tuition costs for a biblical education (or the time costs for a biblical home education) really add up."
Now this second couple may be mistaken in their assumptions (about their ability to care for seven children, for example). But this mistaken assumption is not the same kind of thing as the sinful and rebellious attitude exhibited by the first couple. In contrast, we see a family which believes that children are a blessing, and they have been acting accordingly.
Because the Bible says nothing about birth control itself, we must evaluate the action based upon whether the action is motivated by a biblical attitude toward that which the Bible does address -- children and family.
(Here Wilson goes into the story of Onan, showing that it wasn't Onan's actions so much as his motives that were evil -- trying to rob his deceased brother of his posterity)
Consequently, those who practice birth control with ungodly motives are following in the footsteps of Onan. But it takes a good deal of ingenuity to make a connection between this evil motive of Onan's and the motive a godly couple who practice birth control to space their children in order to maximize the number of children they can have (e.g., because she has to deliver by Caesarean section). So when there is no clear teaching in the Scripture on a subject of moral and ethical behavior, it is necessary for us to be silent. We may not condemn something as sin in itself simply on the grounds that most people who do it are sinful in their motivations.
But this does not mean that a Christian husband and wife practicing birth control are free to assume they are doing right. It is true, as argued above, that this entire issue must be understood in the light of our motivation, and our submission to the scriptural view of family. It is also true that in the area of motivations, we are answerable to God and Him alone. The issue of birth control is not an area where the civil magistrate or the elders of the church have any business. If an ungodly attitude toward children and family is visible and apparent, then THAT should be addressed by the elders of the church. But they should deal with it in the same way they would deal with an analogous situation (e.g., someone who has an ungodly attitude toward alcohol -- a substance not sinful in itself but which can be abused).
Parents are stewards before God, and God entrusts the children to them. Some parents receive the resources which God gives and bring up many children to serve Him. They are greatly blessed. Other parents may limit the children they have but believe the children they have to be a great blessing, and they also bring them up to serve the Lord. These parents are also blessed by God. When Jesus told the parable of the talents, He did not refer to any quarrel between the man who had ten talents and the man who had five. The one who got into trouble (with his master, and not with his fellow-servants) was the one who feared to be entrusted with any responsibility. He buried what he had in the ground and was condemned by his master. And this is what many Christian couples have done and are doing. They don't want the responsibility of parenthood, but God has said that He made them one for the purpose of godly offspring (Mal 2:15).
So our modern debate about birth control has unfortunately gravitated to the methods used -- as if the lazy servant could have justified himself by pointing out that the action of burying money in the ground is not inherently sinful. This is true enough, but beside the point.
Nowhere in the Bible does it say that the use of birth control is sinful.
So it is wrong to say that it is.
The Bible does consistently say that children are a blessing from the Lord.
And it is a sin to act as if they were not.

The Emerging Delusion

Urgh.
Thinking is so hard. There is such a temptation to just stop doing it. How easy, how relaxing it would be to just ride the waves of group-think that I am surrounded with daily. Put my feet up. Give a big group hug. Smile and wave, smile and wave!
But reality gnaws at my heartstrings. The repulsive smell of the devil's handiwork fills my nostrils and slaps me awake. The words in my Bible simply won't disappear either -- each time I look they are still there (and unfortunately, it feels, become more and more clear with each reading).
The most current stewing in my mind? The Emerging Church.
I just read a fabulous article by Bob DeWaay called The Emergent Delusion. Though the article is long and not the easiest to think through, I feel as though I have just run a few miles, done 50 crunchies, and enjoyed a nice tall glass of fresh cold water. Ahhhh. There now! Some good thoughts for the old brain to chew on!
DeWaay's article is mostly a review of Brian McLaren's book, The Generous Orthodoxy (This book is actually subtitled Why I Am a Missional, Evangelical, Post/Protestant, Liberal/Conservative, Mystical/Poetic, Biblical, Charismatic/Contemplative, Fundamentalist/Calvinist, Anabaptist/Anglican, Methodist, Catholic, Green, Incarnational, Depressed-yet-Hopeful, Emergent, Unfinished CHRISTIAN).
A reviewer from Amazon.com, under the title "Nobody Can Tell You You're Not Jewish," aptly describes what seems to be the main idea of McLaren's book:
"The idea here (which McLaren blithely appropriates) is that words, even concepts, can mean anything I want them to mean, and no one can tell me any differently. Or, you can challenge me if you want, but I don't care; that's just your position and anyone can think anything they want and why can't we all just be brothers?"
Its enough that this book denies that the Bible reveals to us many absolute truths about God, but the truly disturbing thing is that this way of thinking represents mainstream Christianity. This book is published by Youth Specialties, a popular group I have always loved and trusted. McLaren is welcomed to speak at mainstream Christian gatherings all around our country. You can even McLaren to "coach" your church into organizational success (somehow I am reminded of the 40 Days of Purpose craze).To the untrained eye, McLaren is just another brother, promoting love and unity amongst the brethren.
Be afraid! Be very afraid!
McLaren is suggesting we move further from the truth rather than back to it. We need to move BACK to the Word of God! Back to the truths and triumphs brought forth by the Reformation. Back to the idea of sola scriptura. We do not need to "emerge" into a group of touchy-feeling New Agers who think God is whatever we'd like Him to be, saying along with McLaren,
"If I seem to show too little respect for your opinions or thought, be assured I have equal doubts about my own, and I don't mind if you think I am wrong. I'm sure I am wrong about many things, although I'm not sure exactly which things I'm wrong about. I'm even sure I'm wrong about what I think I'm right about in at least some cases. So wherever you think I'm wrong, you could be right."
Read McLaren's book. Read DeWaay's article. Search the scriptures.
Just go find your thinking cap, dust it off, and tie it tightly to your head.
We cannot afford to be lazy thinkers. The Church is headed into a direction of danger, and we all need to be awake enough to notice.

Improving His Aim...?

Just yesterday, I was reprimanded at a friend's home for using the "boy" bathroom instead of the guest bathroom. Everyone knows boys' bathrooms can be icky. For that matter, men's rooms can be worse. Have you ever seen a long line of women waiting for the potty, while the men's room remains vacant? Any of us who have tried the guys' side once before in desperation know from experience that the gals' side is worth the wait.
Well, this morning was no exception in our home. I had to go potty really badly and sat down on a WET seat. Now, our toilet is right next to the shower, which has been known to splash a little, so I didn't freak out at first. When I stood up, I could tell the toilet was not wet with shower water. I also noticed that it wasn't just the seat that was wet, but behind the seat and on both sides of the bottom of the toilet. How in the world could this have happened?
I began my wailing: Who did this? This is so disgusting! Who could miss like this?? It looks like someone pee'd ON the seat instead of IN it!!
My honest-most-of-the-time-lately son Micah ran into the bathroom with his eyes downcast. Quietly, he answered, "It was me, Mom. I'm sorry."
You? You did this? This is sooooooooooooo gross. I SAT in pee! I have pee on my bottom! Do you have any idea how disgusting that is?
Then I asked the question that most good parenting books tell you to skip:
WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?
I really didn't expect an answer, but I got one. Micah looked up at me with his big baby blues and in all sincerity explained, "Mom, there was a fly on the potty. I was trying to shoot it."
Suddenly the wicked vandalist transformed into an endearing little boy right before my very eyes. He and I started cracking up, hugged each other and had a good laugh, right there on the bathroom floor! Then I gave him the Windex and a ton of paper towels and told him to make the porcelain shine.
Micah knows that he shall never again try to shoot flies with bodily fluid. And I know that a wet bottom is not worth losing my temper over. Some day these boys will be grown up and gone, and I will remember (and miss) their antics with fondness.
Their future wives may have to deal with dirty toilets at times, but at least these husbands will know how to clean 'em up :)

What the Good Man Does is Always Right

My son Christian read a story today from our book of Fairy Tales by Hans Christian Anderson. He called out, "Hey, Mom! I found your favorite story, What the Good Man Does is Always Right, remember it? Can I read it out loud for all of us?"
What a blessing to hear him refer to it as my favorite story. When I first read it to him a few years back, I remember fighting with my flesh all the way through it. The main male character is an idiot. What woman wouldn't scold him for his impropriety? Yet, not only does Mrs. Fairy Tale not scold her husband-dear, she finds something positive to say with each unveiling of bad news.
The end of this story [spoiler warning] brings Mr. and Mrs. Fairy Tale a bag of riches, due to the Missus' good attitude. A good reminder that I, too, can bring about good things for our family by simply following the guidelines God has given me in my How To Be a Good Wife Manual.
So, honey, if you ever sell our horse for some rotten apples, I'll give you a big kiss and say, "What the good man does is always right!"

Proverbs 31:11 and 12

The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.

She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.

No Children After 35

Women should not have children after 35;

thirty-five children are enough.

- Anonymous

A Reversal of Heart

Last month's issue of TEACH Magazine arrived on the perfect day -- I was second-guessing my husband's upcoming vasectomy-reversal.

The issue's main article was entitled, "I Wish We'd Had More!" The author, a mother of about 6, if I remember correctly, mentioned that the Number One thing she heard from folks when she was out and about with her children (after "Are they all YOURS?") was, "Oh, I wish we'd had more." -- spoken with a wistful sigh.

The fact of the matter is, I don't think any of us will look back and think we had one too many children, will we? But I wonder how many of us will wistfully look back and say, "I wish we'd had more."

I had been thinking it was too late for us. Hubby had a vasectomy three years ago, with our age-old plan of adopting in the near-future. When my hubby said he didn't think he could go through with adoption at this time (I do still hope God allows this for us someday), I thought we were "done." Funny how when you are sure something is impossible, you have the freedom to re-think your paradigm. Suddenly Hubby and I were looking into the lives of other families who "trusted the Lord for their birth control," and what we saw made sense. We were actually missing the fact that baby-making was no longer a mysterious part -- even if its something we were trying often to avoid -- of love-making. We wondered why we thought it was okay to permanently dismantle the fertility we had been given -- how had we missed the beauty of this gift and given it away in a few snips (and just so we could enjoy the marriage bed with no strings attached -- no new blessings for us, please). The benefits of large families suddenly began to appeal to us. It was too late for us to put these ideas into practice -- too bad we'd already had that vasectomy done!

No serious thought was given to a vasectomy-reversal (do you know how much they cost??), until I stumbled onto the site of a surgeon in Texas who does 'em as a MINISTRY, at a much cheaper rate than most. We prayed and sought the Lord, and after an Christian Entrepreneurial Conference, Hubby came home saying, "Let's do it!" His big worry had been spending the money, and God reminded him at this conference that money is just not a big deal, nothing to hold on to so tightly! (Sound like a good conference? You should come with us next year!)

The very day that I was to call for the reversal appointment, hubby's work offered to send him on a business trip to Texas -- meaning a free flight to the very Texas airport WHERE the reversal was to take place during the very week WHEN the reversal was to take place!

Fast-forward to a week before the reversal, where I was freaking out again. And not just for the worry of hubby's surgery and the worry of spending the money, but for my own selfish reasons. If we had another child "the natural way," there would be "too much space" between our now youngest and the next. I'd struggle even more with weight gain/weight loss. I might feel sick and tired. I wouldn't be able to drink diet soda. I'd have to go through the whole "no sleep" thing again, not to mention grinding up baby food, changing diapers, and potty training. I'd have to do that whole labor and delivery thing again -- eek!! My parents and friends would think we were crazy.

The article in TEACH magazine reminded me that the chance to participate in the creation of another human being is worth all of that, and then some. It laid out the many blessings one could receive by having another child, and I felt encouraged!

If its up for debate for you, check out all the scripture verses on children being blessings (Are there any other blessings we ask God to hold back on?), consider the impact we could have on our culture with a little exponential discipleship (some time I'll write a post workin' the numbers for ya), and have a look at these articles:

10 compelling reasons to have another child

Why Do You Have So Many Children?

For us, we don't know what the future holds. Statistics show only a 50% chance of pregnancy after vasectomy reversal. For the first time in our marriage, we are content to breathe-easy and wait and see what happens. May the Lord's will be done!