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Letters written December 2004:
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Hey Dad!
Do you remember me telling you about a Kenyan man I met on the plane to see Kathy? He reminded me so much of you, he was a professor at a Kentucky university, very political, one of 4 boys, etc. etc. He told me right away the neat story about his elderly father (he was traveling to Kenya for his pop’s funeral). His whole family had accepted Christ years ago, when the Holy Spirit swept through their little village, except for his dad. The brothers prayed and prayed for their dad, to no avail. The dad had 2 major car accidents and one deadly illness – and was pretty much healed from each of these in some neat way, yet still did not turn to Christ. Suddenly, one day, at age 82, for no apparent reason, he gave his heart to the Lord, did a 180 degree change and lived an amazing life for the Lord – for about a year and a half when he then died. I told this Kenyan man, Dr. David Kimweli, that he must have been put on the plane to encourage me to hope for Grandpa Papa again. It went on to be an amazing plane ride, where we prayed and cried together, and had deep deep talks about the Lord – with a real sense of God surrounding us. I really felt like he was my Kenyan “father.” Well, I woke up the other night burdened to pray for his family, did some research on the internet, and lo and behold it turns out he died in a tragic accident that very week I was visiting Kathy. He was probably in the accident the day after I saw him, as the article I read said it happened “returning from his father’s funeral.” He didn’t even get to say good-bye to his wife and kids. So, I decided maybe I was supposed to write to them to tell them how wonderful he was, and how much he said he loved them. I am thinking maybe they are having a super hard time right now, with the holidays?? Anyway, since I reference you in the letter to the Kimwelis, I thought I’d send you a copy too! I hand-wrote the letter and then just typed it here – unfortunately as it is hand-written on beautiful Italian paper that I have no more of I can’t go back and fix the grammar!!!!
Love ya lots!
Debbie
--
Dear Kimweli Family,
I woke up the other night with a strong sense that I was lift up the Kimweli family in prayer. It seemed odd to me, to wake up so burdened for a man I had met on a plane to East Africa months before! The next morning I decided to type in David Kimweli’s name on the internet and was shocked to the bone to discover that he went to be with the Lord only days after I had met him. I am feeling so saddened for you, Joyce, Faith and David. I only knew your husband and father for 7 hours – on a filght from Amsterdam to Dar es Salaam, Tanzania, and yet I wanted to let you know how much he touched my heart in Jesus in that brief time, and how he told me such wonderful things about you all – his beloved family!
I had prayed before my travels that God would orchestrate the people I would sit by on each flight. I am so frightened to fly, and friend encouraged me that God would keep me too busy working for “eternal things” on the flights to be frightened of crashing.
Imagine my surprise when your husband and father began to tell me about Jesus and the work God had done in his father’s heart – before the plane had even taken off! I think we were both a little disappointed, at first, that our co-passenger was not someone who “needed” to learn about Jesus but was already saved :) It ended up being a wonderful flight: we shared testimonies of God’s work in our lives, cried right there on the plane over the goodness of our Lord, and described our wonderful families that the Lord had blessed us with.
The first thing Mr. Kimweli told me was the incredible story of the conversion of his father. You see, the story sounded awfully familiar and gave me hope in what I thought was a hopeless situation. My own father is also one of four sons who all accepted Christ (along with his mother) around the same time. My grandpa, like Mr. Kimweli’s dad, is the stubborn one, holding his heart back from God. My grandpa has even been healed, like Mr. Kimweli’s dad, as the result of God answering the prayers of his sons. Regardless of God’s intervention, my grandpa, now 80, still will not accept Christ. Hearing Mr. Kimweli’s testimony of his dad’s sudden and real conversion, at a ripe old age, filled my eyes with tears and my heart with hope. I told your husband and dad I just KNEW God directed him to sit by me to encourage me (and my father) to hope and pray that God will also win my grandpa’s heart for himself.
Mr. Kimweli, your dear husband and daddy, went on to tell me such wonderful stories about all of you! About your wonderfully romantic story of courtship, Joyce, how you knew each other since childhood and how, like Jacob and Rachel, your husband worked and waited patiently for your hand in marriage. David and Faith, your dad spoke with pride about you both, and mentioned how he feared “letting go,” and wanting so badly for the two of you to follow after Christ with your everything.
Faith, your dad reminded me so much of my own dad. It was so great to talk to him in ways I haven’t talked to my own dad, and it helped me understand my dad better. I really got the sense that your dad wanted to be closer to you, and was unsure how to do that. His love for you was so apparent in his words and face.
I wanted to write you all to tell you my experience with your husband and dad. Near the end of his life, he was trusting the Lord and shining His light. He told me that he was “always ready” to go and be with God, and joked that while up in an airplane he was even more ready! Everything went awry with his flights – he ended up in Dar instead of Nairobi when I last saw him – yet he was still saying, “God must have a reason for this. I will trust Him.” Your dad and husband encouraged me greatly in so many things. He reminded me of God’s sovereignty and helped me not fear death on the plane. He encouraged me that my trip to visit my missionary friend in Dar es Salaam would be used by God. He encouraged me by lifting up my husband, who stayed with our boys and allowed me to go on the trip. He encouraged me in my ministry to my husband and boys – that it is a real ministry not to be taken lightly. And your dad and husband blessed me by how real was the presence of the Holy Spirit in him.
Your husband and dad made an impact on me in just a few hours that will last a lifetime. I am so sorry to hear that he is gone. I imagine, by the short time I knew him, that he impacted many lives – more than most could do in several lifetimes. I saw that he most hoped that he would impact the lives of his son and daughter! I can’t wait to be in heaven someday – with the entire Kimweli family, Praise the Lord! :)
Please know that my heart aches for you, and that I will be lifting you up in prayer.
I pray God’s peace upon you in such a time of sorrow.
Thank you for sharing Mr. Kimweli with me. I know he will be greatly missed by you.
Your sister in Christ,
Debbie
Sunday, May 01, 2005
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Getting Personal
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I wonder, if you came across the following ad in your local newspaper, how would you respond?
Younger Woman Seeks Older Woman -- for friendship,
discipleship, and real-life mentoring.
This Older woman must be willing to teach a younger woman,
through friendship and example: how to love her husband
and children, how to be sensible, pure, kind, focused on her
home-ministry, and submissive to her own husband.
Qualified candidate will demonstrate an overall reverence
in her day-to-day living, being not inclined toward gossip or
over-indulgence.
The particulars of her own husband-loving, child-raising, and
personal character development are not nearly as important
as her heart of dedication to the Lord and her family.
Please apply soon with any eager-to-learn Younger Woman, found in abundance at local churches and neighborhoods.
Believe it or not, this personal ad can be found in any Holy Bible, Titus 2:3-5!
Young women are desperate for spiritual mothers and older sisters. We are desperate to hear the counter-culture message that our ministry occurs best in and through our homes, and that loving our husbands and children is a high calling. Older women, come out of hiding, out of busyness, out of over-working, out of too much churchwork -- and hear our cries! Your friendship and leadership is much coveted.
I wonder, if you came across the following ad in your local newspaper, how would you respond?
Younger Woman Seeks Older Woman -- for friendship,
discipleship, and real-life mentoring.
This Older woman must be willing to teach a younger woman,
through friendship and example: how to love her husband
and children, how to be sensible, pure, kind, focused on her
home-ministry, and submissive to her own husband.
Qualified candidate will demonstrate an overall reverence
in her day-to-day living, being not inclined toward gossip or
over-indulgence.
The particulars of her own husband-loving, child-raising, and
personal character development are not nearly as important
as her heart of dedication to the Lord and her family.
Please apply soon with any eager-to-learn Younger Woman, found in abundance at local churches and neighborhoods.
Believe it or not, this personal ad can be found in any Holy Bible, Titus 2:3-5!
Young women are desperate for spiritual mothers and older sisters. We are desperate to hear the counter-culture message that our ministry occurs best in and through our homes, and that loving our husbands and children is a high calling. Older women, come out of hiding, out of busyness, out of over-working, out of too much churchwork -- and hear our cries! Your friendship and leadership is much coveted.
To VBS or not to VBS: This is my Anguish!
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Hi Lord!
I have so many things weighing heavily on my mind. Sometimes I wonder why you gave me such a strong mind, one that thinks and thinks and thinks. My strong conscience does not help – once something appears wrong to me – or even if something else simply appears “better,” I cannot put away the thoughts that drew me to the conclusion but am instead forced to act upon them! Oh, but I do thank you for these gifts. They do make life harder, but much more interesting.
Right now it is VBS soaring through the brainwaves. You know that I have struggled with VBS thoughts since last year. I was really pressed – by Your Spirit, I believe – to see how so many of us church women were acting like Marthas last year. It was almost impossible not to be a Martha, and yet my soul felt broken in two for it. My heart yearns to be a Mary! And I yearn to bring a throng of Marys with me, rejoicing at your feet and waiting for the next words from your mouth!
I just feel so obligated to help out with VBS. Why? Because it is a major church event. Because Everymom who is Anymom helps out – of course! Yet You started stirring within me feelings that VBS may not be for us, at least for now. Do you know how hard this is on me? To be different? To look like I am not Your servant? To look selfish and unhelpful? Lord, I will look like a flake. A Flake!!
Yet, if I do not listen to your still small voice, and the principles you keep knocking me over the head with, then I will really be a flake – even if to the rest of the church I do not look like one.
I have always thought of VBS as an outreach to the neighborhood, unchurched kids, and indeed, Lord, I praise you forevermore for any of the souls that You have reached through VBS. And, Lord, how I do love to share your Good News, especially with little people who have never heard of Your Grace! The fact remains that the majority of the children in VBS are churched kids, who should already be well-versed in the Gospel. Aren’t there more effective alternatives to reach the few unchurched kids that do go to VBS? Perhaps having them over for dinner, meeting physical and emotional needs of their families, or letting our well-versed young ones directly share their faith? And these options sound so hassle and hectic-atmosphere free! I feel that we in the Body of Christ tend to see getting the unsaved through the doors of the church building as the best way to evangelize. Lord, you are showing me that this is not the case, but that instead you want to use our very lives to reach others. I am so moved by the way Jesus “did” evangelism. Lord, that you would remind us in Your Body that we are not professionals, that we do not need to copy the ways of the world, but that we can imitate Jesus Christ and win souls exceedingly well – with a lot less overhead!
And the amount of work that it takes to put on VBS at a big church! VBS is an impressive, well-oiled machine -- with hours and hours of blood, sweat and prep work poured into it. Mostly by mommas who give up hours of time with their families to get ready for the VBS week, and possibly give up hours of time they should be using to disciple younger women or reach out to neighbors who need your love. The moms look tired and spent and overwhelmed to me. I want to yell to them, “Come to Him you who are weary and heavy-laden, and He will give you rest! His yoke is easy, and His burden is light!” Is Marthadom inescapable, or is there a better way?
Lord, I spend so much of the year orchestrating our lives so that the boys will grow in closeness to each other, learning to serve the very people who annoy them the most (good preparation for marriage, I say!), and VBS is another thing that separates them from each other, and from Ron and me. The exciting experience of VBS becomes a self-centered memory, instead of a family calling. And this would not be such a big deal -- it is, after all, only one week a year -- except that at every turn in our society we are faced with the dissolution of family! Lord, why is your Body insisting on joining in with this pulling apart? Shouldn’t we be the ones who help restore relationships within families, especially at a time when relationships are so strained? While pondering VBS these past few months, I have thought often of the things that drew us away from segregated Sunday School for the time-being: the creation of a generation gap that should not exist, the entertainment-style of kids’ programming, the fostering of self-centered views of church life (what’s in it for me?), the teacher-led passive-style learning, the preeminence of women leaders and the absence of males.
I do thank you that there are so many men at my church who take the time off of work to volunteer this week, but Lord, there simply aren’t enough. It bothers me so that our kids grow up seeing church, especially ministry to children, as woman’s work. Thank you, Lord, for women that want to serve you. But, Lord, it is the fathers that you have called to spiritually nurture their children. It is the fathers who will make the biggest difference for generations to come. The Hebrew model you have provided in scripture shows us relational discipleship where Daddy was the chief delivery system for Truth. VBS does not help us parents bring into the lives of our children godly men whom they can be inspired by and emulate – even the wonderful men who are involved are pretty busy with programming aspects and cannot build relationships with children.
You’ve really changed my mind about the way children learn. I do believe now that people in general learn much better through relationships than through programs or classroom situations. My kids have always had a blast at VBS, but at least at their young ages VBS has not pushed them to grow in their walks with You. Lord, I feel overwhelmingly called to bring others, including my children, into maturity in You. It seems strange to busy myself with something that doesn’t jive with the mission you have written in my heart.
Oh, and I do feel so badly for the children who have just had to endure 180 days of regular school. Lord, to be led from activity to activity with no time to sit under the stars, or in the wildflowers, or at the river – wondering in the beauty of your nature! To live a rushed life, to not have the time to be a child and sit on mom’s lap to read, to leisurely paint a picture, to imagine with siblings. It seems so silly to subject these kids to another week of crafts and singings and stories and activities – in the name of Christ. Lord, how I long to bring children who have never heard of you into your presence by way of nature! The heavens declare your glory, much better than Oriental Trading Company!
I know you are callings us to lives with Margin, and I feel as though VBS is the antithesis to Margin. How can we have margin in our lives while being completely overloaded, even though what we are doing is “good?” If a neighbor stops by, needing a shoulder to cry on, is it righteous of me to say I am indeed too busy with my ministry? Lord, I want to be available for Divine Appointments. Help me to commit ONLY to the things which you have pre-ordained for my good and Your glory, that I may walk confidently seeking Your leading and seeing Your hand.
You want more than than sacrifice from me, don’t you? You want obedience. To obey is better than sacrifice! In some ways I am annoyed with this (as if I have the right!). It is a sacrifice to work at VBS: a sacrifice I will receive honor from and can share in with my gal comrades; a sacrifice that would actually show up on a church Report Card. Yet, Lord, you are calling me to obey, not simply sacrifice. I realize that in obeying you, truly living for you, I will sacrifice much, much more than what VBS would take. You want me to be ready for ministry 24/7, ready to sacrifice at the drop of a hat. Yet, Lord this burden is light because you will provide exactly what I need each step of the way, and the Joy that you will pour upon me for obeying you will flood my soul, and I will bring Glory to your name.
I ask you to help me do this humbly, without a hint of self-righteousness – ouch! I ask you to give me wisdom in talking to others about this decision, that I would only say what You want when You want it said. That my words would be used only for edification, not for tearing down. If you are really calling me to be different in this way, one thing I ask is that you let me sow seeds of love and unity and not seeds of discord in the so-doing. Please, Lord, guide me each step of the way. This is a big thing for me, for I am a silly girl. Thank you for loving me, thank you for leading me, thank you for putting up with me. I want to live for you. No matter what that means.
Your Daughter,
Deborah
Hi Lord!
I have so many things weighing heavily on my mind. Sometimes I wonder why you gave me such a strong mind, one that thinks and thinks and thinks. My strong conscience does not help – once something appears wrong to me – or even if something else simply appears “better,” I cannot put away the thoughts that drew me to the conclusion but am instead forced to act upon them! Oh, but I do thank you for these gifts. They do make life harder, but much more interesting.
Right now it is VBS soaring through the brainwaves. You know that I have struggled with VBS thoughts since last year. I was really pressed – by Your Spirit, I believe – to see how so many of us church women were acting like Marthas last year. It was almost impossible not to be a Martha, and yet my soul felt broken in two for it. My heart yearns to be a Mary! And I yearn to bring a throng of Marys with me, rejoicing at your feet and waiting for the next words from your mouth!
I just feel so obligated to help out with VBS. Why? Because it is a major church event. Because Everymom who is Anymom helps out – of course! Yet You started stirring within me feelings that VBS may not be for us, at least for now. Do you know how hard this is on me? To be different? To look like I am not Your servant? To look selfish and unhelpful? Lord, I will look like a flake. A Flake!!
Yet, if I do not listen to your still small voice, and the principles you keep knocking me over the head with, then I will really be a flake – even if to the rest of the church I do not look like one.
I have always thought of VBS as an outreach to the neighborhood, unchurched kids, and indeed, Lord, I praise you forevermore for any of the souls that You have reached through VBS. And, Lord, how I do love to share your Good News, especially with little people who have never heard of Your Grace! The fact remains that the majority of the children in VBS are churched kids, who should already be well-versed in the Gospel. Aren’t there more effective alternatives to reach the few unchurched kids that do go to VBS? Perhaps having them over for dinner, meeting physical and emotional needs of their families, or letting our well-versed young ones directly share their faith? And these options sound so hassle and hectic-atmosphere free! I feel that we in the Body of Christ tend to see getting the unsaved through the doors of the church building as the best way to evangelize. Lord, you are showing me that this is not the case, but that instead you want to use our very lives to reach others. I am so moved by the way Jesus “did” evangelism. Lord, that you would remind us in Your Body that we are not professionals, that we do not need to copy the ways of the world, but that we can imitate Jesus Christ and win souls exceedingly well – with a lot less overhead!
And the amount of work that it takes to put on VBS at a big church! VBS is an impressive, well-oiled machine -- with hours and hours of blood, sweat and prep work poured into it. Mostly by mommas who give up hours of time with their families to get ready for the VBS week, and possibly give up hours of time they should be using to disciple younger women or reach out to neighbors who need your love. The moms look tired and spent and overwhelmed to me. I want to yell to them, “Come to Him you who are weary and heavy-laden, and He will give you rest! His yoke is easy, and His burden is light!” Is Marthadom inescapable, or is there a better way?
Lord, I spend so much of the year orchestrating our lives so that the boys will grow in closeness to each other, learning to serve the very people who annoy them the most (good preparation for marriage, I say!), and VBS is another thing that separates them from each other, and from Ron and me. The exciting experience of VBS becomes a self-centered memory, instead of a family calling. And this would not be such a big deal -- it is, after all, only one week a year -- except that at every turn in our society we are faced with the dissolution of family! Lord, why is your Body insisting on joining in with this pulling apart? Shouldn’t we be the ones who help restore relationships within families, especially at a time when relationships are so strained? While pondering VBS these past few months, I have thought often of the things that drew us away from segregated Sunday School for the time-being: the creation of a generation gap that should not exist, the entertainment-style of kids’ programming, the fostering of self-centered views of church life (what’s in it for me?), the teacher-led passive-style learning, the preeminence of women leaders and the absence of males.
I do thank you that there are so many men at my church who take the time off of work to volunteer this week, but Lord, there simply aren’t enough. It bothers me so that our kids grow up seeing church, especially ministry to children, as woman’s work. Thank you, Lord, for women that want to serve you. But, Lord, it is the fathers that you have called to spiritually nurture their children. It is the fathers who will make the biggest difference for generations to come. The Hebrew model you have provided in scripture shows us relational discipleship where Daddy was the chief delivery system for Truth. VBS does not help us parents bring into the lives of our children godly men whom they can be inspired by and emulate – even the wonderful men who are involved are pretty busy with programming aspects and cannot build relationships with children.
You’ve really changed my mind about the way children learn. I do believe now that people in general learn much better through relationships than through programs or classroom situations. My kids have always had a blast at VBS, but at least at their young ages VBS has not pushed them to grow in their walks with You. Lord, I feel overwhelmingly called to bring others, including my children, into maturity in You. It seems strange to busy myself with something that doesn’t jive with the mission you have written in my heart.
Oh, and I do feel so badly for the children who have just had to endure 180 days of regular school. Lord, to be led from activity to activity with no time to sit under the stars, or in the wildflowers, or at the river – wondering in the beauty of your nature! To live a rushed life, to not have the time to be a child and sit on mom’s lap to read, to leisurely paint a picture, to imagine with siblings. It seems so silly to subject these kids to another week of crafts and singings and stories and activities – in the name of Christ. Lord, how I long to bring children who have never heard of you into your presence by way of nature! The heavens declare your glory, much better than Oriental Trading Company!
I know you are callings us to lives with Margin, and I feel as though VBS is the antithesis to Margin. How can we have margin in our lives while being completely overloaded, even though what we are doing is “good?” If a neighbor stops by, needing a shoulder to cry on, is it righteous of me to say I am indeed too busy with my ministry? Lord, I want to be available for Divine Appointments. Help me to commit ONLY to the things which you have pre-ordained for my good and Your glory, that I may walk confidently seeking Your leading and seeing Your hand.
You want more than than sacrifice from me, don’t you? You want obedience. To obey is better than sacrifice! In some ways I am annoyed with this (as if I have the right!). It is a sacrifice to work at VBS: a sacrifice I will receive honor from and can share in with my gal comrades; a sacrifice that would actually show up on a church Report Card. Yet, Lord, you are calling me to obey, not simply sacrifice. I realize that in obeying you, truly living for you, I will sacrifice much, much more than what VBS would take. You want me to be ready for ministry 24/7, ready to sacrifice at the drop of a hat. Yet, Lord this burden is light because you will provide exactly what I need each step of the way, and the Joy that you will pour upon me for obeying you will flood my soul, and I will bring Glory to your name.
I ask you to help me do this humbly, without a hint of self-righteousness – ouch! I ask you to give me wisdom in talking to others about this decision, that I would only say what You want when You want it said. That my words would be used only for edification, not for tearing down. If you are really calling me to be different in this way, one thing I ask is that you let me sow seeds of love and unity and not seeds of discord in the so-doing. Please, Lord, guide me each step of the way. This is a big thing for me, for I am a silly girl. Thank you for loving me, thank you for leading me, thank you for putting up with me. I want to live for you. No matter what that means.
Your Daughter,
Deborah
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