One Beggar's Bread

Not a Blog!

2008-06-27T08:16:00.000-07:00

This is no longer a blog.

For a real blog, please go to Stay at Home My Heart.

WordPress

2006-03-31T09:39:00.000-08:00

I am officially over at wordpress now -- I love it!

www.onebeggarsbread.wordpress.com

Stop by and say HI :)

New Blog!

2006-03-25T21:40:00.000-08:00

My sis just introduced me to another blog arena -- www.wordpress.com, and I LOVE IT! It seems easier to manage -- a good thing for a non-techie like me!
I think I'm movin' on.
It'll be under construction for a bit, but come visit me over at:
www.onebeggarsbread.wordpress.com

In This Corner...

2006-03-17T14:51:00.000-08:00

CHARLOTTE MASON v. LINDA HIRSHMAN

---

My Amble Ramble Yahoo group (a support group for Charlotte Mason Education) has been abuzz this week over Linda Hirshman's recent assertion that a woman's place is in the office. Reading articles by Hirshman alongside Home Education by my Charlotte Mason, list member Kari Hannon was struck by the incredible difference between these two women.

I can imagine the boxing arena full of cheering women as we set Linda Hirchsman, a prominent feminist thinker up against Charlotte Mason, prominent educator from the late 1800's/early 1900's whose work has recently made a comeback to greatly influence the modern home education movement.

Kari gave me permission to reprint her thoughts here:

In my reading of Hirshman's article, it is clear to me that she has no clue what motherhood and "staying at home" truly is. Of educated women who choose to stay at home she writes, "these daughters of the upper classes will be bearing most of the burden of the work always associated with the lowest caste: sweeping and cleaning bodily waste...They have voluntarily become untouchables." So, she equates it solely with the physical and lowly tasks of cleaning homes and children. A maid or janitor. Contrast that view with Charlotte Mason's understanding of the value of motherhood.

First, Mason, an early 20th Century British educator, quotes another person called Pestalozzi, who said, "The mother is qualified, and qualified by the Creator Himself, to become the principal agent in the development of her child; ...and what is demanded of her is--a thinking love...God has given to the child all the faculties of our nature, but the grand point remains undecided--how shall this heart, this head, these hands be employed? to whose service shall they be dedicated? ... Maternal love is the first agent in education."

Then Mason writes, "We are waking up to our duties and in proportion, as mothers become more highly educated and efficient, they will doubtless feel the more strongly that the education of their children during the first six years of life is an undertaking hardly to be entrusted to any hand but their own. And they will take it up as their profession--that is, with the diligence, regularity, and punctuality which men bestow on their professional labours." (Home Education, vol.1)

When I first read Mason's words, my reaction was, "Alas...if only that were true!" To me, daycares are much too prevalent and I have not seen this awakening in educated mothers that Mason envisioned.

But Hirshman's article gave me hope!

Hirshman is non-plussed that all these educated mothers are leaving the workplace and returning home. "This less-flourishing sphere is not the natural or moral responsibility only of women," she writes.

The fact that top, "elite", educated women are choosing to stay home and don't see it as "unjust" should clue her in to the fact that maybe it IS natural, brings self-fulfillment and happiness and is, yes, even honorable. If things don't stack up as you think they should, go back and check your hypothesis. But that's unthinkable; instead, she points back at the feminist system and blames it for not going far enough. It targeted education and the workplace, but obviously those were not the correct targets. The real target is the home. "Feminists must acknowledge that the family is to 2005 what the workplace was to 1964 and the vote to 1920." In other words, family is holding women back from their full potential as human beings. Only when they are freed from the traditional understanding of home and family will women be able to "flourish".

The fact that these women and their families "seem happy" and would consider themselves as "flourishing" means nothing to Hirshman. It doesn't matter what they think, because she knows what is better for them than they do themselves. "We care because what they do is bad for them, is certainly bad for society, and is widely imitated."

Ahh, thank you Ms. Hirshman, for your loving concern. However, I see that your concern is not truly for women. If it were, you would rejoice with them that they are happy in their chosen field of motherhood. Instead, you lament that they have a choice at all. "Prying women out of their traditional roles is not going to be easy. It will require rules."

Her concern is not truly for society, either, for if it were, she would be more concerned about the children she is so quick to hand over to the casual daycare worker. The good of society does not rest solely on the shoulders of those in the workforce or those currently holding the "power"--be it man or woman. A society can change for the better or for worse with each successive generation. Therefore, any society must look to the future and ensure the proper raising of its young. "Children," writes Charlotte Mason, "are, in truth, to be regarded less as personal property than as public trusts, put into the hands of parents that they may make the very most of them for the good of society." And who cares more for the success of her child than a mother? Mason writes further, "This is why we hear so frequently of great men who have had good mothers-- that is, mothers who brought up their children themselves, and did not make over their gravest duty to indifferent persons."

No, Ms. Hirshman's concern is for money, power and honor--her own definition of honor, of course, which seems to be related solely to money and power. Her love of money and power has blinded her. She is blind to the truth that, not only are men and women different, but that the world benefits when we embrace those differences, allowing both men and women to flourish in the roles for which they were created.

I would recommend that Ms. Hirshman go back to the drawing board and do a bit more research into 1) the natures of God and man and 2) the importance of training in the development of a child. Once she has a deeper grasp of both of those, she will be able to see why feminism has not "worked" to her current satisfaction. Her response may no longer be a bewildered, "What is going on?" but a victorious, "Hallelujah!"

---

Thank you for sharing, Kari!

More Baby Famine in the News

2006-03-17T14:08:00.000-08:00

This idea is popping up all over the place!

I came across 2 articles today about population statistics and how they relate to conservative values and modern thought.

This one from News Max (thanks for the link, Mom!): Conservative Baby Boom; Liberal Baby Bust

And this one from Melanie Phillips: Britain's Lop-sided Baby Famine

Interesting reading!

Secular Baby-Making, or Lack Thereof

2006-03-15T14:02:00.000-08:00

My dad recently left a comment with a link to this USA Today article about the Red States out-populating the Blue States (for more of my thoughts on this, see It's the Sex, Stupid).

Here's another article, along the same vein, from The Washington Times on on how the French Government is paying well-educated, working women to produce a third child.

I suppose none can truly deny the influence a mother (or whomever is raising the children) has upon the next generation -- even upon whether or not that next generation will have children of their own.

They say that man is mighty,
He governs land and sea,
He wields a mighty scepter
O'er lesser powers that be;
But a mightier power and stronger
Man from his throne has hurled,
For the hand that rocks the cradle
Is the hand that rules the world.
-- William Ross Wallace, 1865 or 66

Another Goofy Test!

2006-03-13T19:45:00.000-08:00

You Are Likely an Only Child

At your darkest moments, you feel frustrated.
At work and school, you do best when you're organizing.
When you love someone, you tend to worry about them.

In friendship, you are emotional and sympathetic.
Your ideal careers are: radio announcer, finance, teaching, ministry, and management.
You will leave your mark on the world with organizational leadership, maybe as the author of self-help books.

The Birth Order Predictor

Ron and I are goofing around with the kids taking all these stupid, boring, waste-of-time quizzes tonight (like, What's Your Hillbilly Name?) -- but check this one! It predicted fairly well my birth order. My sis is almost 9 years my junior, and according to the New Birth Order Book by Kevin Leman, we are both considered "only children."

What's Your World View?

2006-03-13T17:30:00.000-08:00

You scored as Cultural Creative. Cultural Creatives are probably the newest group to enter this realm. You are a modern thinker who tends to shy away from organized religion but still feels as if there is something greater than ourselves. You are very spiritual, even if you are not religious. Life has a meaning outside of the rational.

Cultural Creative

69%

Fundamentalist

63%

Postmodernist

63%

Romanticist

63%

Idealist

19%

Modernist

19%

Existentialist

13%

Materialist

What is Your World View? (updated)
created with QuizFarm.com

Hmmm. I'm equal parts fundamentalist, postmodern, and romanticist? Explains my confusion over The Emerging Church :)

Silly little quiz. What's it say your world view is?

Save California?

2006-03-10T14:22:00.000-08:00

(If I could figure out how to keep my posts in categories, this one would go under RANT).

Flipping through my FM radio in the van today, I heard two minutes of a program I've never heard before addressing public schools and homosexualitly. The content was just too much to let my little boys listen to, but I listened long enough to catch a plug for this website:

www.savecalifornia.com

Now, I'm not one to want to save California. At this point I'm not sure of any answer for California besides jumping ship before it sinks (ever heard The Big One theory? Where California falls into the ocean? Now, I certainly am not one to wish for thousands of people to face injury and death! But if only there was a way to dump the overwhelmingly popular liberal and socialist California IDEAS into the ocean without damage to flesh and blood...I'd sign up for that.).

The radio host and hostess increased my embarrassment of my home state by referring to the issue at hand, "Even though we are discussing C-a-l-i-f-o-r-n-i-a (the word "California" was drawn out with obvious scorn, head-shaking and eye-rolling), this issue IS one of which all Americans need to be aware."

Whatever this program was, this morning's broadcast was focused on a new bill, AB 606, which reads:

"A school district shall establish and publicize an anti-discrimination and anti-harassment policy that prohibits discrimination and harassment based on the characteristics set forth in Section 422.55 of the Penal Code and Section 220, including, but not limited to, actual or perceived gender identity and sexual orientation" -- AB 606 234.1(a)(1).

I'm wondering if any of my public school teacher friends or family know about this bill? What's your take on this?

My husband and I noticed just this week that a protest was held (we watched it on the evening news), with kids who desired gay and lesbian clubs at all public schools carrying signs to demand "Safe Schools."

Frankly, I just don't get it. In It's the Sex, Stupid, I remarked on how our society's general indifference towards the morality of sexuality is causing the downfall of western civilization. Working the numbers of this U.S. Department of Justice report on Molestation Statistics, friends and supporters of Pastor Ake Green (in trouble in Sweden for speaking out against homosexuality) say that a homosexual is 10 times as likely as a heterosexual to molest a child. This article in World Net Daily echoes these sentiments. Steve Baldwin says, "Overwhelming evidence supports the belief that homosexuality is a sexual deviancy often accompanied by disorders that have dire consequences for our culture." Baldwin backs up his words with evidence in a 16-page publication entitled Child Molestation and the Homosexual Movement.

Gay and lesbian clubs -- glamorizing deviant behavior, putting casual sex in the spotlight, and providing our world with future pedophiles (helping to ensure the next generation of club members?) -- how in the world can they create a safer place for our kids?

While googling this issue, I did find these websites (not for the faint of heart):
The California Safe School Coalition quotes local Stephen Russell, Ph.D. from UC Davis'4-H Center for Youth Development, “Data from the CHKS show that these 200,000 students harassed on the basis of actual or perceived sexual orientation are three times more likely to miss school because they feel unsafe, more than twice as likely to be depressed, to consider suicide, or to make a plan for suicide." (It couldn't be that the homosexual behavior itself brings on depression, or that whatever is wrong in the child's life pushing him or her toward homosexuality could also be causing depression?)
The Gay and Lesbian Straight Alliance envisons "a future in which every child learns to respect and accept all people, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity/expression."
Day of Silence/Night of Noise attempts to explain the campain for student-led protests, which fight the "discrimination lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender individuals experience within K-12 schools."

This is an issue for grades K-12? How in the world can a Kindergartner be gay or lesbian? My three year old last night said he wanted to marry his daddy, and last week he wanted to marry a cousin AND our dog. Let me assure you that he is not homosexual nor interested in incest or sex with animals. He is simply expressing his love for all these people in the best way he has seen love expressed -- through marriage.

It takes time, love and attention for our kids to learn what God's ideas for life, marriage, and sex are. How long are Christians going to stand by while the media, public school administrators and gay activists mold the worldview of our young ones?

I submit to you that the last thing our high schoolers need (not to mention our Kindergartners) is on-campus "publicity" for "perceived gender identity and sexual orientation."

Someone fix this. Or bring on The Big One...?

The Paradoxical Commandments

2006-03-09T13:48:00.000-08:00

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.

Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.

Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.

Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.

Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.

Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.

Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.

Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.

Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.

Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.

Give the world the best you have anyway.

by Kent M. Keith

It's the Sex, Stupid

2006-03-05T16:26:00.000-08:00

I recently read a long Canadian opinion piece called It's the Demography, Stupid: The Real Reason the West is in Danger of Extinction. It's a fascinating secular take on why Islam is the fastest growing religion...and how the Western World is going extinct. In the article, Mark Steyn states, ''the hard data on babies around the Western world is that they're running out a lot faster than the oil is. 'Replacement' fertility rate--i.e., the number you need for merely a stable population, not getting any bigger, not getting any smaller--is 2.1 babies per woman." The author quotes statistics from many different countries, demonstrating that the countries well above this replacement rate tend to be Islamic, and many western nations fall below the replacement rate.

Steyn throws in the following numbers in an attempt to scare the liberal left about the growth of not only the Islamic nations but also conservative Americans -- his words should greatly encourage those of us on the conservative side of the fence: "In America, demographic trends suggest that the blue states ought to apply for honorary membership of the EU: In the 2004 election, John Kerry won the 16 with the lowest birthrates; George W. Bush took 25 of the 26 states with the highest. By 2050, there will be 100 million fewer Europeans, 100 million more Americans--and mostly red-state Americans."

Jennifer Roback Morse, Ph.D, wrote an incredible response to It's the Demography, Stupid entitled, It's the Sex, Stupid: A Response to Mark Steyn. If you don't have time to read the original article, I hope you'll find the time to read this response. Dr. Morse feels that the way western culture views sexuality has "created the demographic collapse of the West, and the human void into which Islamic fertility is rapidly flooding."

Speaking from a secular, naturalist viewpoint, Dr. Morse says that "the modern world has completely lost sight of the social purposes of sex. We now regard sex as a private recreational activity, with no moral or social significance. Unlimited sexual activity without a live baby resulting is the quintessential modern entitlement."

Dr. Morse goes on to describe consumer sex (what she often refers to as Wal-Mart Sex): Sex is a consumer good and our sex partners are objects that please us more or less well. Morse submits that this view of sex is "at the root of the West's demographic death spiral...Consumer sex inverts the whole natural order of sexuality. Instead of drawing us out of ourselves and into relationship with others, we turn sex inward, on ourselves and our own individual pleasure."

Dr. Morse states that demographic collapse is hardly surprising. She observes the risky business of having children without a permanent bond between parents. As we as a country move toward indifference as to whether a child has parents who are married to each other, or even whether the parents are of different or the same sex, we create a culture that is "hardly conducive to having a higher than replacement level of fertility."

As a woman who waited until reaching tenure to have a child, she recognizes that she is "part of the problem of the well-educated, high-income women who can't bring themselves to replace themselves" and ends her article with these challenging words:

"What women do and want will be decisive in determining whether the West survives the demographic clash with Islam. If intelligent, educated women believe children are an unacceptable distraction from their careers, we won't have many kids. If women regard flash cards as beneath their dignity, educating the next generation will be left to hired help. If women think raising a child alone is less trouble than dealing with a pesky man, we'll have a lot of stressed out single mothers and poorly raised kids.

"So, stay at home moms, don't let anyone tell you that you are wasting your talents. Without your contribution of a healthy, functioning next generation, all the strength of the U.S. military won't be enough to protect us from the primal force of Islam that believes in itself enough to replace itself. Your actions show that you believe in your civilization enough to invest in its future. "

As Dr. Morse points out, few have noticed the short, direct line between seeing sex as a commodity, to seeing a sex partner as a commodity, to seeing a baby as a commodity. If we in conservative Christian circles can grasp the depth, spirituality, and significance to these gifts from God -- sex, spouses, and children -- we will well be on our way to making a lasting mark on our world.

A Woman's Place is in the Office

2006-03-05T16:00:00.000-08:00

Are you a competent, educated woman? Then according to Linda Hirschman, a prominent feminist thinker, you are above being "just a mom."
Apparently irritated at the large numbers of highly educated women who are intending to forgo careers over being "just" wives and mommas, Hirchman has spent quite a bit of time and energy arguing that "feminism has largely failed in its goals." Here's to more failure of this brand of feminism.
You can read all about Hirschman's recent appearance on Good Morning America here.
Al Mohler's take on it all? "These women [stay-at-home moms] not 'letting down the team.' To the contrary, they are holding civilization together where civilization begins--in the home."

Teens Rock!

2006-03-03T09:38:00.000-08:00

I was visiting The Rebelution site this morning, in eager anticipation of the conference coming up next weekend (which is SOLD OUT by the way -- I hope you already purchased your tickets!) and came across this awesome site:

REGENERATE OUR CULTURE

This new movement, largely directed by those of the teenage-persuasion, has this as part of its vision statement:

Regenerate Our Culture is an organization with the goal of regenerating our nation's worldview away from the post-modernism holding it and back to the Christian worldview it was first built on.

Ah, yes. This is the answer to the questions posed by the emerging church movement, I believe. While I do believe it is time for Modernism to get the right foot of fellowship out of the doors of our churches, I just don't see embracing post-modernism as the answer. Reformation, going back to the scriptures, learning from historical Christianity, transforming our lives so they are lived out through a Christian Worldview -- this is the direction we ought to be headed.

The "kids" over at Regenerating Our Culture seem to have this very idea in mind. And the fact that they are so young means their message should be vibrant, full of life and EDGY... kinda like the Bible, actually :)

I hope you check them out!

The Beggar is Back, I hope!

2006-02-28T18:20:00.000-08:00

We have spent the past month in our garage.

Well, not exactly, but it sure has felt like it. My incredible husband decided that we needed extra space. He took to converting 2/3 of our garage into a family room -- and the result is amazing. We have a large room that really serves as two rooms: a craft room with craft and homeschool supplies, a desk, a laptop, and cute little table, and a reading/play room which consists of comfy reading chairs, bookshelves full of living books, a chest of toys, and a closet full of board games and Legos and such.

My husband is the most inventive, enterprising man you will ever meet. If something around our house needs to be done, Ron will "get a book on it" and see that it's done. From garbage disposals to dimmer switches to track lighting to installing hardwood flooring to building playground equipment, he will figure it out and get it done.

When we were first married, I used to refer demurely to Ron's enterprising ways as jury-rigging (actually, until about a week ago, I would have misused this term by calling it "jimmy-rigging." Fortunately, I have a super-smart mother who let me know that "jury-rigging" is the correct phrase. However you say it, the phrase gives the connotation of "though it'll work in a pinch, it's improvised, and not done correctly.")

Gone are my days of not giving proper reverence to my husband's craft. He has proven himself, beyond measure, to handle all sorts of household projects. He is a jack of all trades, and a master of the ones we appreciate the most (like being a wonderful husband and father).

To give you just a taste of some of the current re-model project Ron's been working on:
He created a second ceiling frame and wall frame as a skeleton for the room, made a large built-in closet, a large enclosure with folding doors to hide the laundry room, brought electricity to the room, hung beautiful lights, installed Pergo flooring and carpet, cut trim, and painted walls. Luckily, he had my dad's construction expertise to help with drywall, mudding, and texturizing (not to mention the muscles and time dad lent us -- thank you so much, dad!).

As you can guess, I haven't had much time for blogging lately. But after a month of de-cluttering almost our entire house and helping hubby with the new room, I am ready to declutter my head by getting some random and crazy thoughts out of it and onto my blog. With a nicely organized house (it's almost where I want it to be, I need a little push to finish up the task at hand) and extra space for the boys' books and projects, I feel rested and at a peace.

I'm ready to get back to my daily regimen of reading lots and writing a little!

God is from Mars and Venus

2006-02-28T18:10:00.000-08:00

Off with the skirt, On with the Pants is an article sure to make you either clench your fists in anger or laugh out loud as R.C. Sproul, Jr. (son of the well-known Christian theologian R.C. Sproul) brings you face-to-face with the issue of men's leadership in our churches.

Sproul Junior has a silly sense of humor sprinkled with a bit of sarcasm and large doses of truth. He writes with passion that is a bit over the top...but I do think God will use this dynamic man to get a few good messages across.

Enjoy!

Where Have All the Young Men Gone?

2006-02-01T07:14:00.000-08:00

I was perusing The Rebelution Blog this morning, and was struck by this post called If Boys Would Be Men, Would Girls Be Ladies? I can't say how impressed I am by the young male authors of this blog.

This post strikes me for a few reasons. The first is that feminism has been on my brain for the past few weeks, even though I have yet to finish posting my thoughts. Then, just yesterday, my sister mentioned a discussion she had in the high school teacher's lounge of a recent article in Newsweek on schools failing boys. The topic of "boys in education" is one very near and dear to my soul, and the idea that institutional schools aren't set up for boys to succeed was the first thing that drew my husband and me to consider homeschooling. And, over the past few years, I have had a paradigm-shift in my way of viewing men -- I now see how important it is to us as The Church and as a country to have REAL, godly, strong men leading us to victorious moral living. (I am so honored that God put three little men into our home, not because boys are any better than girls -- I am not swinging clear to the other side of the spectrum -- but because our society has an absolute lack of godly men and the thought that God could use our seed to replenish this lack excites me. Godly women just seem easier to find than godly men, and I am of the opinion that godly men will only make life more wonderful for women in general. I only ask the Lord to lead Ron and I in raising these little guys to be true men of faith -- manly and godly world-changers -- :) that's all I ask, Lord!)

I hope you'll take a moment to read the Rebelution post - and remember, these boys are only 17 years old!!

A few excerpts from the posting:

"The problem is not that women have risen, that's not even an issue here. The problem is that men have fallen."

"The truth is that young men today possess little incentive, whether archaic or otherwise, to pursue excellence in career, marriage or family. True men are not only disapearing from our universities, they're disapearing from society's most fundamental institution, the family. Unless men, as the heads of their families, return to the historic call of biblical manhood, the family will continue to decay. This is a battle our generation must fight."

Join the Rebelution!

2006-01-31T11:20:00.000-08:00

My husband and I have always had an interest in young people. We met while on volunteer staff with Young Life and spent the first 10 years of our marriage in youth ministry together. One of the reasons we felt drawn to youth ministry was the idea that young people aren't as "messed up yet" or as set in their ways as their adult counterparts, and that it is therefore easier to get them started on the right path toward a healthy, successful life of deep, abiding relationship with Christ.

We just didn't realize quite how much young people are capable of...we set our sights too low.

And we didn't realize what an important role parents play in their children's future well-being -- not only whether children come to Christ but how richly the children will end up living for Christ and how well they will be able to sustain healthy friendships and marriages and reach others for Christ. (How could we have missed the importance of parents? Uh, I'm really not sure.)

One thing leads to another, and the birth of our first child brought the first stirrings of change in our minds and hearts. These stirrings led to several years of slow change, which in turn led to a paradigm-shift of thinking regarding young people.

The Rebelution Tour is coming to the Sacramento area (north of Auburn), this March 11th, from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. The teen boy speakers and their father truly epitomize the standard of teen living we have come to see as normal Christianity. (Ahem, that's "normal" according to scripture, not "normal" meaning what is average today).

I highly recommend this tour to teens, parents of teens, grandparents of teens, single adults, and parents of someday-teens.

I am praying and hoping, and praying and hoping, and praying and hoping for Reformation in The Church, and it tickles me pink that God could use teens as part of this movement!

From the Rebelution Tour's Website:

What is the Rebelution?

--It's a movement among Christian youth from around the world to throw off the shackles of low cultural expectations.
--It's a cry for young people to return to historic levels of Christian character and competence.
--It's a network of young men and women who are mutually committed to glorifying God by "doing hard things" in their teen years.
--It's a reformation by those who recognize the biblical commandment to use the teen years, not as a vacation from responsibility, but as the launching pad for all of life.

Check out the Harris boys' blog!

Homosexuality and The Emerging Church

2006-01-28T19:51:00.000-08:00

This just snagged from the A-Team's blog:

"The Mark Driscoll-Brian McLaren Throwdown, Round 1"

"If you thought this blog was rough, you ain't seen nothin' yet! Emergent leader Brian "The Godfather" McLaren recently posted this article about homosexuality, to which Mark "The Pistol" Driscoll fired back with a very unrestrained comment, which was posted here. Various reactions to the Driscoll-McLaren Throwdown have sprung up around the blogosphere, with Andrew Jones and Steve McCoy leading the way. So, who wants to get in on the betting action? I got ten bucks that says Driscoll knocks McLaren out in the eleventh round. Boo-yah."

Also found this link to Douglas Wilson's response to McLaren.

It is nice to see people reacting to this and disscusing the topic with some spunk...
There is still life in The Body -- I was worried we were all asleep!

Calling All Dads!

2006-01-20T14:43:00.000-08:00

I received an email notice today that Family Life did 2 radio programs on daddies leading family worship. I'm listening to them right now, and they sound great so far!
Ron and I have come across many statistics lately revealing the number one factor in having kids that follow Christ is dad leading his children in some type of family worship. Back in the Pilgrim or Puritan days, a father could be whipped for not leading his family in daily devotions -- yikes! All whips put aside, I sure hope God moves in the hearts of men to turn their hearts back to Him and back to their wives and children.
We wives and children hunger for spiritual food from our men.

Theology From A Bunch of Dead Guys!

2006-01-19T19:53:00.000-08:00

---
I stumbled onto this site of Phil Johnson's today, and it is a hoot!

From the introductory page:

A FRIEND who noticed my reading habits asked, "Why would anyone want to study theology by reading A Bunch of Dead Guys? Shouldn't you focus mostly on current works, or risk becoming an irrelevant theological fossil?"My answer: the truth about God is timeless. The last infallible book of theology was written nearly two thousand years ago. In theology, if it's new, it probably isn't true.The best of the men featured here knew that. Though they are dead, they still speak (cf. Heb. 11:4). Scripture was their supreme rule of faith. Their theological line of descent is clearly traceable from the Reformers, to Augustine, to the Apostle Paul, to Isaiah, to Abraham—all the way back to the first promise God made to Adam in the Garden (Gen. 3:15).

This site is informative and fun, especially for a light intro into Church History (Warning -- the information is from a Calvinist point of view). The site owner provides a little map with caricatures or pictures of specific dead guys. You can navigate your way down the map -- but be careful! Too far to the left or the right and you'll find yourself in theological trouble! The site also provides links to follow under each of these people groups, for further study or enlightenment :) You may explore a page of links to different creeds, catechisms, and confessions.

Phil Johnson makes learning theology from a bunch of dead guys feel like browsing howstuffworks.com!

Resources on Figuring out Feminism

2006-01-19T14:44:00.000-08:00

Oh. If only I didn't have a husband and kids to minister to, perhaps I would have more time and a less-cluttered brain to sit down and do something really important -- like blog about feminism in the church! :)
Really, I am working on Parts 2 through at-least-4 of the Unwitting Feminism series. I keep jumping around between them -- and none of them is able to stand alone as a post at this point. Hopefully I won't end up posting them all at once!
Besides, it is amusing to just check back and read everyone's incredible comments. Dad and Danielle have already stolen my thunder on a few words of wisdom. And George, though I agree with a lot of your assessment of things, I think "feminism" and its spread throughout society and the church is more men's fault than women's! And I think that feminism has done nothing but harm to both sexes.
It's been fun to think about everything you ALL had to say so far -- thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Before I get to the next controversial "real" post, here are some resources for you. All of these books or websites come from a pretty conservative, but very biblical standpoint. I would challenge you to look at any of these sources (with a Bible on your lap) and see what you think!

Books I have yet to Read that Look Great:
The Feminist Mistake by Mary Kassian
Review of The Feminist Mistake by Tim Challies (this review is worth the read)
Roger of The A Team interviews Mary Kassian (includes a link to read the first chapter
of this book online)
The Exemplary Husband by Stuart Scott

Websites with lots of articles:
Patriarch Magazine
Ladies Against Feminism
The Council for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood
Family Ministries

Books I have found helpful over the past few years:

Reforming Marriage by Douglas Wilson
Family Man, Family Leader by Philip Lancaster
The Way Home and All The Way Home (the 2nd is "way" better) by Mary Pride
Created to Be His Help-Meet by Debi Pearl
The Fruit of Her Hands: Respect and the Christian Woman by Nancy Wilson
On the Other Side of the Garden: Biblical Womanhood for Today's World by Virginia Fugate

A lot of these resources will seem odd and extreme in light of most of the other stuff out there these days.
At first, I even threw Reforming Marriage to the floor -- it made me so mad! But I can't get past the biblical wisdom from many of these authors. Not that I agree with EVERYTHING each of them has to say, either. I am just so tired of explaining away scripture verses -- it has been refreshing to read books written by those who take the Bible for what it plainly says. These authors and people who live this way have drawn me into investigating Reform Theology (although they are not ALL Reform, Debi Pearl and Reb Bradley of Family Ministries are assuredly NOT Reform).
If you've read any of these books/articles, I'd love to hear what you think.

Post-Christian America

2006-01-17T16:59:00.000-08:00

Do you know who Albert Mohler is? I didn't until today.

While checking some of my favorite blogs today, Mohler showed up on two of them -- one remarked that he would be on Larry King Live to discuss the gay cowboy movie, Brokeback Mountain, and the other to a link where Mohler discusses a recent inspiring and empowering sermon of John Piper's.

Poking around his website, I found an article entitled Transforming Culture: Christian Truth Confronts Post-Christian America that puts into words some of the reasons I have felt frustrated with society and helpless to change it. Our society has changed as much as an entire "civilization" in the past 50-60 years.

Mohler's message is one of stating the facts and encouraging Christians to do what they are called to do.

A few passages from the article:

---
Looking within, Americans have adopted a therapeutic worldview which has transformed all issues of right and wrong into newly created categories of authenticity, self esteem, codependencies, and various psychological fads which basically tell us that we are victims, not responsible moral agents. A cult of self-worship has developed, substituting a search for the inner child in place of the worship of the transcendent God.

Isn't this the truth! And it is so difficult for me to know how to respond to people who think this way. When you bring up sin, you feel as though you are guilty of picking on someone for being sick. And in a way, you are -- but the Bible clearly states that men are gulity of this sickness of sin and must repent. There are ways to soften the truth, sometimes, but as my 7 year old is fond of saying, "Truth Hurts."

---
The displacement of the Church is characteristic of the process of secularization, which has now so thoroughly altered the landscape of American culture. Though sociologists point to continuing high levels of religious activity and statements of belief--both of these in sharp contrast to other western nations--the truth is that very little of this activity translates into authentic discipleship, active church membership, and bold Christian witness.

An interesting comment on where we as Christians stand in America.
Religious, but not authentic, active, and bold.

---
The truths of God's Word reveal the Gospel of spiritual transformation, and the proclamation of the truths of God's Word is the only means available to us of cultural transformation. From beginning to end, it is all in God's hands. We are called to faithful witness and compassionate ministry. In the context of post-Christian America, our task is to preach the Gospel and to proclaim the truths of God's Word. As the Apostle Paul wrote to the Corinthian church, the Gospel is foolishness to those seeking wisdom and a scandal to those looking for power. To the redeemed, however, the Gospel is the power of God unto salvation. Here is found the only genuine transformation. Therein is found our charge.

Mmm. Good reminders. The rest of the article is worth a read.
I think I'll be back for more of Albert Mohler's writings. It seems like he has good stuff to say!

Unwitting Feminisim, Part I

2006-01-15T23:00:00.000-08:00

Feminism by Any Other Name -- Still Doesn't Smell Sweet

I'm beginning to re-think many current "Christian" ideas concerning the role of women.

I'm re-thinking them because they just don't seem to hold up to biblical precedent. How I could have been reading this same Bible for years, content to gloss over verses concerning my life as a woman? Usually, I used the excuse of the Bible being written so very long ago, during a different time period, a different culture. These verses needed to be carefully interpreted in light of these differences, and then thoughtfully dismissed. They simply couldn't apply to my life in the straightforward way they were written, could they? And besides, compared to my friends outside the church, I was practically old-fashioned. I shared a bank account with my husband, took his last name when we married, didn't make any major decisions without him, and decided to not work outside of the home once we had children. Heck, I even submitted to him the two times we needed a "tie-breaker!" Feminist? Not me!

In an article entitled Many Evangelicals Unwittingly Live as Feminists, Russell D. Moore is quoted as saying:

"Evangelicals maintain headship in the sphere of ideas, but practical decisions are made in most evangelical homes through a process of negotiation, mutual submission, and consensus. That's what our forefathers would have called feminism -- and our foremothers, too."

I'd agree with Moore. Today's typical books on Christian marriage promote a contemporary way of looking at submission and many other issues having to do with a woman's role in life, marriage, the church.

In the introduction to The Way Home: Beyond Feminism, Back to Reality, Mary Pride sounds a wake-up call to Christian women about the feminist ideas we have picked up and made our own:

"Christians have accepted feminists 'moderate' demands for family planning and careers while rejecting the 'radical' side of feminism -- meaning lesbianism and abortion. What most do not see is that one demand leads to the other. Feminism is a totally self-consistent system aimed at rejecting God's role for women. Those who adopt any part of its lifestyle can't help picking up its philosophy. And those who pick up its philosophy are buying themselves a one-way ticket to social anarchy."

Pride's words certainly were true of me -- I had rejected radical feminism but had fully embraced moderate feminism. A few generations of moderate feminism, and we end up with a church that not only is hardly distinguishable from the world, but one that is bent on self-destruction. (In fact, I wonder how many church issues could be fixed by a re-wiring of our brains when it comes to reading scripture? A Reformation of thought where we return to the ideas of sola scriptura?)

What parts of feminism have we as Christians unwittingly picked up? What parts of scripture have we closed our eyes to? How have these thought patterns affected the church? How in the world did these changes come about? And how did I come to see my own patterns of thought had strayed so far from the biblical ideal?

Stay tuned for more thoughts on this controversial issue. . .

New Age Practices in the Church?

2006-01-15T08:49:00.000-08:00

---
I just read an interesting book review over on the A-Team's Blog about a new book entitled Running Against the Wind by Brian Flynn. Flynn describes his life as an anti-Christian, first looking for hope in sex, drugs and rock 'n roll and later looking for it in Nirvana, meditation, and conferring with the spirits. When he met Jesus Christ, he found the Truth and he found his Hope. Next Flynn goes into his journey as a Christian, and his surprising encounters with New Age beliefs INSIDE the church. He says that New Age practices have slipped into the church, mostly without us being aware of them.
This subject fascinates me as I often wonder how much of our culture affects our Christian Worldview. In my own life, I have discovered so many ways of thinking that seemed unquestionable until I found scripture saying the opposite (my version of feminism, for example).
It is very hard to lift our heads up above our culture to really analyze what parts of our current lifestyles are biblical and which parts need to be thrown out.
I will be getting ahold of this book soon. It will be exciting to challenge another area of thinking and hold up common practices to scripture.

Black Widow Scare!

2006-01-13T23:58:00.000-08:00

It is nearly midnight. I just found a black widow spider. My husband is out of town.
Not only am I deathly afraid of any scary-looking spiders, but a black widow takes the cake. And she is in a really hard to reach spot, under my sink. I was down there to get out the bread maker (we were going to have fresh bread for breakfast tomorrow -- not now!) when I saw her scurry back in there. It is pretty dark in there, so maybe I am wrong about her being a huge, black poisonous spider!
If only it wasn't so late, I'd go over to the college boys next door, or call my uncle or brother-in-law who both live nearby. My boys aren't big enough for this job, I don't think! I just don't think I have it in me to kill or trap her tonight.
Thank goodness I just had a swig of NyQuil -- maybe I can get some sleep even though my skin is crawling and itching with dozens of imaginary spiders!!! Eeek!
Honey, my Protector Extraordinaire, come home soon!!

"Stupid in America"

2006-01-13T18:55:00.000-08:00

---
On 20/20 this evening, John Stossel aired a special report called "Stupid in America."
I admit it, we are John Stossel fans in our home. Not that we agree with every opinion he has, but we admire his sensibility and the fact that he calls things as he sees them.
The program was very interesting, and seemed to reveal a debate of larger proportions going on in our country -- over deeper worldview issues, perhaps the ideas of Socialism v. Capitalism? Hmm. Well, this show may have been the kick in the pants I needed to finally get around to reading John Taylor Gatto's Underground History of American Education.
At the end of the program, Stossel said something along the lines of, "Well, this was our show on education. We hope it sparks a debate." Boy did it. If you missed the program, you can catch a few video clips here.

Love Stinks - or What Goes Around Comes Around

2006-01-12T21:51:00.000-08:00

---
Lately I've been thinking about how void the public squares are of children and old people -- especially during the daytime "work hours." Our society tends to lock these types of people away all day, behind closed doors with other people their same age -- in the places that are "natural" and "better for them."
When the kids and I do meet an elderly person at the grocery store or park, I make certain to stop and chat for as long as I can -- exposing my children to this generation of people, their wisdom, their fragility, their love for friendship and companionship, their delight in little children. How can it be normal to disregard, at least in action and attention, such a valuable portion of our society?
We recently went with our eldest son's Cub Scout Troop to sing Christmas Carols at an old folks' home. My three-year old asked me (hopefully everyone there was too deaf to hear him), "Mama, why everybody here dead?"
Oh my goodness! After a quick reminder to him that we will all die some day, I explained that the people there were very old, but were not dead. But, to tell you the truth, the place felt pretty dead. It wasn't a place I would look forward living any time soon. Though I am sure Bingo or Bible Study with senior gals my age will be a blast, being locked up with them in an institution doesn't look like fun.
It got me thinking about how many people begin to live like they are dead way before the Angel of Death comes a-knocking. I made a NOTE TO SELF: If at all possible, live in such a way that I will not flicker out like an old candle -- I want to go out in a blaze of glory!
How have old folks' homes become so typical? I UNDERSTAND that homes for the elderly are an absolute need for some people, especially for medical reasons. But we have taken what should be a last resort and made it average, inevitable, and desirable. We've all seen the bumper sticker, "Be Nice to Your Children; They'll Choose Your Nursing Home."
My mantra instead is, "Value and enjoy your time with your young and simple-minded children now, for if you do, they will value and enjoy time with you when you are old and feeble-minded."
One of my family members mentioned that he would prefer to be in a nursing home so that the people he loves won't have to bathe and feed him, should he deteriorate to such a level. Of course, wiping faces and bottoms isn't Number One on most people's entertainment list, but guess what? Love stinks! I am willing to take care of my mom and dad in any way they need. They did it for me, and I can do it for them.
I once had a neighbor, dear old Bertha, who had 6 children -- five of them sons. Even though her husband died at a young age, Bertha never had to worry about money. She never had to mow her lawn or hire a lawn service. If the plumbing needed fixing or the roof leaked, one of those boys was over in a jiffy.
What happened to old-fashioned retirement plan of having children and raising them well? It worked for Bertha, and I hope it will work for me.

Marriage Has Its Rewards

2006-01-12T19:12:00.000-08:00

---
When my eldest son Christian was only 3 1/2, he let us know that he would not be getting married one day as he wanted to have "more time to serve God." (Apparently he caught wind of I Corinthians 7:32-35).
Since that time, whenever I say, "Look at the way you helped your brother -- you'll be such a good daddy someday!" or "Thank you for killing that spider. Your wife will love it when you do that," he patiently reminds me that there is a good chance he just may never get married.
Christian has also stated that marriage would be rough -- because you would "have" to kiss, and because you just may end up having to go to the store with your wife to buy a bra or girl underwear.
Today, as we were sailing down the freeway toward my parents' house, with a sudden and dramatic sigh Christian exclaimed, "Oh no! I just thought of something! If I don't get married, I won't be able to use the CARPOOL LANE. Ohhhh...then I'd end up just SITTING in traffic."

Any single men out there need a good reason to get married?
Christian just came up with a fine one for your list!

Best of the Blogosphere

2006-01-11T11:18:00.000-08:00

Just when I think I can break away from blog reading, I stumble onto delicious blogs!

Here's a few for you to check out!

Important things going on in Christianity:
Tim Challies
The A Team
Best of the God Blogs

Blogs for Gals:
Holy Experience
Girl Talk
Rebecca Writes (her post on Rick Warren is interesting)
Choosing Home
Amy's Humble Musings
Solo Femininity

Links to award-winning blogs:
Blogs of Beauty

Family and Friends' Blogs:
My Sister - She's Adorable
My Unicycle-Riding Father
My First-Born Son
Micah-in-the-Middle
My Brother-in-Law
George Mimmen
Classical Families
Anne of Green Curtains

Future Men

2006-01-08T13:55:00.000-08:00

One of the books that I am reading right now is Future Men by Douglas Wilson. (I always have several books going at a time because its just too boring to finish one before going onto the next -- I prefer keeping several areas of my brain working out at once -- sort of like circuit training for the mind. LOL.) It is just so enlightening to read these books about boys. I am reminded that I am SUCH a girl -- through and through -- and I need the encouragment and direction for raising masculine men. Not to mention that these books on boys help me better understand my husband and his ways...!

From the Introduction to Future Men:

"The faith exhibited by wise parents of boys is the faith of a farmer, or a sculptor, or anyone else engaged in the work of shaping unfolding possibilities. It is not the faith of someone waiting around for lightning to strike; it is the faith of someone who looks at the present and sees what it will become -- through grace and good works.
"Countless examples may be multiplied from any given day in the life of a small boy. Say a boy breaks a chair because he was jumping on it from the bunk bed. Unbelief sees the cost of replacing the chair. Faith sees aggressiveness and courage, both of which obviously need to be directed and disciplined. Suppose a boy gets into a fight protecting his sister. Unbelief sees the lack of wisdom that created a situation that could have been easily avoided; faith sees an immature masculinity that is starting to assume the burden of manhood.
"Unbelief squashes; faith teaches. Faith takes a boy aside, and tells him that this part of what he did was good, while that other part of what he did got in the way. 'And this is how to do it better next time.'"

Oh, Lord, the Good Farmer! Would you sow seeds of faith in my heart? Would you help Ron and I to believe and strive toward the best in our sons? It is you who causes the crops to grow, Father. I just want to be your handmaiden, ready to serve You in any way you would prefer. Use me like a tool in your garden! May the crops that are raised in our home glorify Your name in just the way you desire.
I do not want to be guilty of squashing the Good in my boys.
I DO want to be faithful to instructing these little guys in the ways of godly, masculine men.
Thank you for revealing to me so much lately about the manly soul -- keep me appreciative of Your good works as I see to understand Your ways. Your thoughts are not my thoughts, and I am so thankful that You are so high above me! Usher me into Your Truth, and please give me the grace to walk by it.

These Are My Poems

2006-01-08T08:26:00.000-08:00

I spent half the day yesterday fellowshipping at my friend Robin’s baby shower. Many of the gals attending were friends from a local Charlotte Mason support group I used to attend. I just LOVE spending time with women who encourage me to slow down, to respect and honor and submit to my husband, and to listen and walk with the Lord daily.

Ahhh...what a breath of fresh air these ladies are!

Can I just say to them...

I love you gals! Thank you for all the encouragement you've given me over the past few years. The Lord caused you to come into my life at the perfect time, a time when I was ready and wanting for your influence and inspiration. I appreciate how He has caused my eyes to open on many things over which I didn't even know my eyes were closed. My heart has been drawn toward home -- and you have definitely had something to do with this!

Thank You!

One of the gals read a stirring quote from a book of poetry. On the way to the shower, I had been thinking about how I wished I had more time to putter around with creative ideas. This quote was a nice reminder of the role I have TODAY – and that I can and should be pouring my creative ideas into serving my husband and children.

When I learn to follow God in the ways he has made clear in scripture and in my heart, I am confident He will “enlarge my territory” to have an effect on the world at large.

Many people have said to me
'What a pity you had such a big family
to raise. Think of the novels and the short stories and the poems you never had time to write because of that.'
And I looked at my children and I said,
'These are my poems. These are my
short stories.'
--Olga Masters

Christian the Blogger Man's Blog

2005-12-27T23:10:00.000-08:00

My 7 year old son has joined the blog craze.
Stop on over and visit his blog and say HI!

Loving Your Brother

2005-12-27T22:29:00.000-08:00

When I was pregnant with my second son, visions of two brothers deeply in love with each other danced in my head. When I shared my hopes and dreams, people scoffed! I was really taken aback by many reactions, "That'll never happen!" "Siblings are supposed to hate each other!" "Dream on!"
I will be the first to admit a Pollyannaesque worldview. If the glass isn't half-full, then let's do something about that, eh? I also have a bit of a rebellious spirit. If someone tells me something cannot be done, I'm going to try that much harder to ensure that it will.
My boys have not been AS in love with each other as I hoped. But then if they were born mature, what would they need parents for? (And if I didn't have children, would I be forced into maturity as quickly as I ought to be?)
Our 3 sons do cherish each other deeply. They truly are best friends. Sometimes while we are out shopping, I notice them holding hands (but I NEVER point it out, for then they might stop -- if anyone teases them about this you will forever be on my blacklist). They make each other cards or homemade board games when they are sick. They often bring each other snacks or glasses of water when they stop to get something for themselves. More often than not, after tucking them each into their own beds, we will peek in on them to find all three of them snuggled together under one blanket.
I feel that home schooling has been another surprise answer to prayer. Close family relationships were the desire of my heart -- I had no idea that home schooling would be one of the vehicles God would use to grant us this desire. The boys spending more time together during the day, and being on the same family team -- not running off on their own individual tangents all the time --has produced amazing friendships. I feel blessed that God "talked us into" home schooling and then astonished us with so many extra benefits!
God has been kind enough to their dad and me to give us a foretaste of this desire of our hearts. So far, it seems that the Lord has clued us in when the friendships start slipping -- which inevitably happens every once in a while. We had one little neighbor boy who used to spend a lot of time in our house, and he really was quite destructive to the brothers' relationship. We prayed about what to do, and God asked me to play with the group of boys when the neighbor boy was over (which they actually seemed to enjoy, not to mention I had a bit of fun myself!) and this helped much. Not long after that, the little boy moved away, and I breathed a sigh of relief.
The last few weeks have shown a bit more bickering and jealousy in the house. I have been so busy with Christmas and reading other people's blogs that I have chosen to turn a blind eye to much of it. A lot more derogatory words have been exchanged from the olders to the youngers. And as for our youngest, we haven't held as high standards for him as we should have. He is the one to show favoritism and try to play one older brother against the other. His brothers have been too kind to him, letting him be the Prince of the House.
I just read a cute post on Making Your Kids Love Each Other. Such good ideas!
How thankful I am that God's mercies are new every morning. I am inspired to wake up tomorrow morning and help my littles love on each other more and more. I am inspired to get myself back on the family team and not be off doing my own thing for much of the day.
Back to loving God, and loving others -- this is where I want to go. And everything else will fall into place...
Lord God, will you guide Ron and I in helping our children love each other? Do not let us tolerate ugly words amongst them. Help us to teach them biblical ways of dealing with conflict, and biblical ways of loving the unloveable. Help us to love them and enjoy them while we discipline and disciple them. Thank you that You are such an enjoyable God! May we learn to feast on You and share You with the little ones you have loaned to us. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

A Family Tradition

2005-12-27T19:05:00.000-08:00

Our little boys were pleasured to spend 2 evenings out of town this Christmas Vacation at their Nana's home. Unfortunately, our eldest son, Christian, came down with a cold while visiting. Nana remarked to him, "I can tell you are getting sick because you have dark circles under your eyes."
He replied, "Oh, no. In my house, those are a family tradition."

Out of the mouth of babes :)

Which Theologian Are You?

2005-12-25T21:19:00.000-08:00

You scored as Anselm. Anselm is the outstanding theologian of the medieval period.He sees man's primary problem as having failed to render unto God what we owe him, so God becomes man in Christ and gives God what he is due. You should read 'Cur Deus Homo?'

Anselm

100%

John Calvin

87%

Karl Barth

87%

Friedrich Schleiermacher

80%

J?Moltmann

80%

Jonathan Edwards

73%

Martin Luther

67%

Paul Tillich

33%

Charles Finney

27%

Augustine

20%

Which theologian are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

Pretty neat quiz. I needed clarification on a few of the questions, so I'm not certain I answered according to the depths of my soul. Try it! Which theologian are YOU?

That's My Boy

2005-12-21T21:35:00.000-08:00

The Lord saw fit to bless our home with three children of the masculine persuasion.
By our third son, I sat up and took notice that I had more than a few things to learn. Growing up with only one sister left me with not much knowledge of these man-types. Don't get me wrong, I've always been crazy about males, but only if they were wrapped around my little finger. And truth be told, for years I held the secret (or not-so-secret at times) belief that women and girls were, uh, better than men and boys. Yep, its true. Thought we were smarter, and thought we were better because of our knack of multi-tasking, having more apparent depth of emotion, and not struggling as much as men with sexual sins.
Funny how circumstances often bring us to paradigm-shifts. The more I researched boys -- the way they learn, the way they play, the way they interact, the way they fight, they way they learn to follow (or don't learn to follow) God -- the more I fell in love with the way they are. I like to think that I have graduated to the higher status in life of Boy Advocate.
Boys are GREAT! Men are GREAT!
And boys are Future Men.
It is amazing to me that God had the idea of making men and women so different from one another, and now I am mature enough to thank Him for this (instead of asking him why men weren't more like women).
What a joy it is to have sons. Boys are simple and forthright. Boys hardly ever hold grudges. If they are mad at a brother or friend -- even if the disagreement escalates to a physical scuffle, once the fight is done, its done. We don't have to try to hard to psycho-analyze a boy -- he puts it all right out there for us. Being competitve is not a sin, and it is possible to teach a boy how to win and lose gracefully. Boys learn by seeing that they can use their knowledge to make a difference in the world -- receiving little "good job" smiley-face stickers doesn't cut it for motivating boys. They need to feel the strength and profundity of acquired knowledge. Boys grow up to be fathers, the single most important person in each of our childhoods (whether your father was present or absent, godly or unkind, his importance is not diminished -- though the blessings may have been). Boys grow up to be leaders -- of their families, churches, businesses, and societies. A focused man (one that isn't good at multi-tasking, remember?) has the strength and fortitude to make a huge dent in our society. Imagine that focused man "seeking first the Kingdom of God." What a difference he can make, and what an adventure he can enjoy while doing it!
And boys and mothers, oh my. I don't think I will ever tire of having several males who pick flowers for me and play with my hair and tell me I'm beautiful. This love and affection alone makes any pee on the toilet seat worth it.
I am in Boy Heaven.

Some great books on boys:
Future Men by Douglas Wilson
Raising A Modern-Day Knight
King Me by Steve Farrar
Bringing Up Boys by James Dobson

Some good books about and/or for men:
The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Laura
Created to Be His Help-Meet by Debi Pearl
Reforming Marriage by Douglas Wilson
Wild at Heart by John Eldredge
Family Man, Family Leader by Phillip Lancaster
A Father's Stew by Stephen Beck
Point Man by Steve Farrar
No More Christian Nice Guy by Paul Coughlin (highly recommended by a friend, we haven't read this yet)

Are We Crunchy Cons?

2005-12-21T02:27:00.000-08:00

As soon as it could be official, my political party of choice has been "Decline to State."

Actually, that's not true. At 18, I signed up to be an American Independent, until my dad informed me this was an actual political party with whose ideals I may not confer (I thought I was checking the "Independent" box to let people know I was free to be me - LOL).

Well, I just may have found a new box to check!

Hmmm.

I'm not Republican. I'm not a Democrat.

Maybe I'm a Crunchy Con.

I came across the Pilgrim Not Wanderer blog late last night in a fit of insomnia. He had an interesting post about a book coming out next year entitled:
Crunchy Cons: How Birkenstocked Burkeans, gun-loving organic gardeners, evangelical free-range farmers, hip homeschooling mamas, right-wing nature lovers, and their diverse tribe of countercultural conservatives plan to save America (or at least the Republican Party).

From Pilgrim's blog:

A Crunchy Con Manifesto

1. We are conservatives who stand outside the conservative mainstream; therefore, we can see things that matter more clearly.

2. Modern conservatism has become too focused on money, power, and the accumulation of stuff, and insufficiently concerned with the content of our individual and social character.

3. Big business deserves as much skepticism as big government.

4. Culture is more important than politics and economics.

5. A conservatism that does not practice restraint, humility, and good stewardship - especially of the natural world - is not fundamentally conservative.

6. Small, Local, Old, and Particular are almost always better than Big, Global, New, and Abstract.

7. Beauty is more important than efficiency.

8. The relentlessness of media-driven pop culture deadens our senses to authentic truth, beauty, and wisdom.

9. We share Russell Kirk's conviction that 'the institution most essential to conserve is the family.'

Pilgrim wasn't sure if the book fits him -- but it looks quite promising for us.

I can't wait to get my hands on it and find out.

Even the front cover photo of the hippie-mobile VW Van decked out with an elephant decal strikes something inside me.

The book doesn't come out until next February... I'll let ya know what I think as soon as I can read it!

Quality Blogs to Check Out

2005-12-20T11:35:00.000-08:00

The Old Schoolhouse is accepting votes for Blog Awards. I went there to vote for my very favorite inspirational blog -- Holy Experience -- and ended up discovering on several other neat blogs. Thought I'd spread the good cheer, inspiration, and deep thoughts! I definitely don't have the time to be reading these all by myself. In fact, I put the kids in front of a very short movie -- Max Lucado's The Crippled Lamb, and was supposed to be washing my hair! Well, I may still have dirty hair when the movie ends, but I'll be in a really good mood :)
Oh, and one of the dad's blogs had a link to The Chronicles of Narnia Rap -- one that I am embarrassed to admit I was awake for and watching last Saturday Night Live!

Postmodernism and Os Guinness

2005-12-18T19:40:00.000-08:00

I have spent a bit of time this weekend researching Postmodernism and The Emerging Church . Cleaning out our "office" closet tonight, I came across an article I had printed out months ago that held fresh meaning for me tonight. Calling, Postmodernism, and Chastened Liberals is a Mars Hill interview with Os Guinness.
A few excerpts for your consideration:

MHR: What has silenced the church? What keeps us from responding to this opportunity?

OG: There are a great number of factors. Many conservatives have lost their genuine passion to reach outside of themselves. They're now immersed in a political-cultural warring mode, which attacks people rather than tries to win them.

I also think the American church has an underlying insecurity. The larger culture is disintegrating-and yet, rather than having an incredible confidence in the truth of the gospel in a time of cultural disintegration, Christians sense that it's all over for the church and the gospel.

There are many other reasons we're not responding to this incredible opportunity we have evangelistically and aplogetically. But, in any case, we're not exploiting it.
---

MHR: You mentioned that some of the grand philosophies are failing, such as postmodernism. Would you say the gospel has relevance only outside of postmodernism, or could it have relevance within as well?

OG: I think the gospel has relevance both outside and inside. Both modernism and postmodernism give tremendous opportunity to the gospel, and both provide deadly challenges to the gospel as well.

Modernism, to its credit, had a very strong sense of truth, and a strong sense of the importance of truth and reason. Modernists may have thought the Christian faith was untrue or simply a bad faith, but at least they would discuss it.

Postmodernism is more welcoming. The postmodern attitude is, "You come from where you come from," so that more positions are level on the playing field. Yet, this perspective is built on a radical relativism that, at the end of the day, destroys everything.

I think a good apologetic based on scripture should be flexible enough and creative enough to survive and thrive in any situation. I don't agree with those who see postmodernism as either radically dangerous in some extraordinarily novel way, or as a great advantage. The important thing is that we must speak from a position of our faith.
---

MHR: There are many definitions of postmodernism. What is the definition from which you're speaking?

OG: A key to remember is that postmodernism is not postmodernity. Many evangelicals make the mistake of thinking that if we are postmodern-which we are-then we must be living "after modernity."

On the contrary, postmodernism is a set of ideas which follows the collapse of modernism, not modernity. If you define modernism as the ideas that are part of what is sometimes called the Enlightenment project-the ideas that have flourished from the Enlightenment until today-then those ideas have collapsed. Modernity, on the other hand, is not just as a set of ideas, but is based on great structural revolutions, such as capitalism, industrialized technology, and modern telecommunication. And although modernism may have collapsed-the belief in truth, reason, progress, science-modernity is actually at its high noon.

In simple terms, postmodernism is a set of ideas that is flourishing at the high noon of modernity. Yet because many evangelicals have confused modernity and modernism, some think that because we are postmodern we've waved the wand and gotten rid of modernity.

Quite the contrary is true. The challenge of modernity is stronger than ever. There is no foreseeable means of dismantling modernity, short of the Lord's return or a nuclear disaster of unimaginable proportions.

If we in the west think we can give up modernity, then the Asians would be only too happy to take over. In other words, modernity will not simply be rolled back or dismantled anytime soon. Postmodernism is just a western phenomenon within the overall context of modernity.
----

MHR: Is it your prediction that postmodernism will fade?

OG: I don't believe postmodernism can last, because it is essentially negative. You couldn't build a family, sustain a university, or run a country on postmodern ideas for very long. Let me suggest an example.

At the moment, one of the Christian claims that seems embarrassing is the claim to truth. If you claim anything close to absolute truth on a modern campus, you are seen as Neanderthal, obscene, politically incorrect. A kind of "brave new world" feeling is prevalent, in which people are saying that truth is dead, following Nietzsche's thought-and that if truth is dead, then knowledge is simply power. The underlying idea is that if you simply understand the gender, race, or class of the person who makes the claim to truth, you will then discover the real bid, which is the bid for power. Everything is reduced to the role of power.

At first that sounds very brave, as you unmask and demystify. But it is an absolute myth. When all is said and done, if knowledge is only power, and if truth is dead, then everything is left to manipulation.

Many people are starting to recognize this problem. For example, how many western liberals admire Vaclav Havel and his role in the Czech revolution? The Czech revolution maxim was, "Truth prevails for those who live in truth." That's actually very close to the scriptures. Havel's point was that in facing a Marxist regime-an empire built on lies-there were only two ways to overcome it. One was by being strong, which, of course, the dissidents weren't. The other way was to live in truth: "Truth prevails to those who live in truth."

What fascinates me is the vast number of western liberals who admire that thought deeply-and rightly so-but who don't have a view of truth upon which they could do the same thing. And if you follow that line of argument around, you come back to Jesus' words: "You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

Whether it happens on the level of interpersonal relationships, or in the realm of grand political things, people are casually giving up truth today with the "brave new idea" that knowledge is power and truth is dead. And, ironically, what looks like a great embarrassment-the Christian claim to truth-is actually one of our great trump cards. I think it soon will be seen to be so.

MHR: Soon?

OG: Marxism, for all its tyranny and technology, lasted only seventy-four years. That is a mere blinking of the eye in terms of history. Modern choice and change are coming so fast that the shelf-life of idols is very brief. I don't think postmodernism will be around in ten years' time.
----

MHR: At present, is the church making a mistake by trying to understand the gospel's relevance to postmodernism?

OG: No. You must understand that the gospel has relevance to everything while it's in vogue. But those who try to adapt too much will be washed up when the next thing comes along.

For two hundred years, that has been the mistake of liberalism-following Frederich Schleiermacher-in trying to reach a culture that despises the gospel. Liberals have joined the culture and stayed there.

Today, there is a near equivalent within evangelicalism, in the name of reaching the unchurched for the sake of relevance. The trouble is that the church often has adapted too much. Much of evangelicalism is every bit as liberal as liberalism. One could easily make the argument that evangelicalism is the worldliest tradition of the modern church.

I know liberals who describe themselves as chastened liberals. They chased every idea in the sixties, whether the idea was politics, therapy, or whatever. And they adapted the gospel to every one of those and sold out. Today they are amazed not that they were chastened by all those events, but that they see evangelicals doing the same things in the nineties.

Birth Control in the Bible????

2005-12-12T07:04:00.000-08:00

Soooooooo....I left a comment over on my brother-in-law's blog that said:
This past year has been an eye opener for me in actually reading the Bible and choosing to believe what it says -- even on such ideas as birth control!
A friend of mine emailed that people will wonder what the heck I meant, and possibly think I meant something I did not. In case any of Miroslav's readers are so shocked and dismayed that they click over to my blog to see what kind of freak show is going on over here, I thought I'd clarify my thoughts on birth control.
Birth Control is NOT mentioned in the Bible. Look it up in a concordance, you won't find it. However children are mentioned in scripture, lots of times, and our attitudes toward them are prescribed there for us as well. It is a new heart toward children -- which the Lord has given me through the process of reading scripture -- which has given me a new view of birth control. We used to go right along with the "children are a burden" philosophy, always looking for chances to have "breaks" from them, and dreaming about the things we could accomplish once they were grown and out of the house!
(The amazing thing has been watching God work in my husband's heart over the years. He has really changed his viewpoint on children. I have recently had the chance to watch Hubby explain to many people his thoughts about his vasectomy-reversal, and I have to wonder if this is the same man I married! Wow! I loved him when we got married, and I loved him when he got the vasectomy, but how my heart goes "pitter-patter, boom! boom! boom!" for him every time I see him look to God for answers to questions in our lives -- and then respond with appropriate action. A man of integrity!)
I think Douglas Wilson, author of Reforming Marriage, says it best. From the end of Chapter 8:
In one sense, the fact that birth control is an issue in the church again is a good sign. No longer are Christians automatically assuming that a practice which is widespread in the world must be legitimate. At the same time, just because multitudes of non-Christians are doing something does not automatically make it unlawful either. So how are we to approach the question?
The first step is to see if the Bible teaches directly on the subject. And at this level, it is clear that certain forms of birth control are expressly prohibited in Scripture. Beginning with the most obvious, we may exclude infanticide and abortion. The Bible excludes all such practices in the most direct way possible -- "Thou shall not kill." What many may not realize is that this commandment also excludes certain birth control devices, such as "morning after pills" or the IUD. These are devices which prevent the implantation of a fertilized egg. Consequently, they are unlawfully taking a human life after it has begun.
But what about other birth control devices? Does the Bible say anything about the lawfulness of a husband and wife limiting the number of children they have or spacing them? The answer is both yes and no. There is nothing in Scripture itself that says the act of using birth control is unlawful in itself. At the same time, most birth control as practiced today is sinful in its motivation and application. To understand this, we have to look at a related subject first.
While the Bible says nothing about birth control, as stated earlier, it teaches much about children and family. So before we can ask whether the practice of birth control is lawful, we have to ask whether or not it springs from an understanding of, and submission to, the Bible's teaching on the family. And because situations vary, sometimes it does and much of the time it does not.
Let us start with an example of a situation where the use of birth control would not be godly. Suppose a couple is thinking this way: "You know, kids are a hassle, both are careers are going well right now, the world is really overpopulated, and besides, we can always go off the pill later." Nothing is more apparent than the fact that this couple has been drinking in worldly assumptions from a fire hose.
Now a counter-example: "The Lord has graciously given us six children, and they are all a delight to us. But we have recently been thinking about using birth control because it is getting harder and harder to provide them with the care the Bible requires. We are starting to have trouble feeding them all -- and the tuition costs for a biblical education (or the time costs for a biblical home education) really add up."
Now this second couple may be mistaken in their assumptions (about their ability to care for seven children, for example). But this mistaken assumption is not the same kind of thing as the sinful and rebellious attitude exhibited by the first couple. In contrast, we see a family which believes that children are a blessing, and they have been acting accordingly.
Because the Bible says nothing about birth control itself, we must evaluate the action based upon whether the action is motivated by a biblical attitude toward that which the Bible does address -- children and family.
(Here Wilson goes into the story of Onan, showing that it wasn't Onan's actions so much as his motives that were evil -- trying to rob his deceased brother of his posterity)
Consequently, those who practice birth control with ungodly motives are following in the footsteps of Onan. But it takes a good deal of ingenuity to make a connection between this evil motive of Onan's and the motive a godly couple who practice birth control to space their children in order to maximize the number of children they can have (e.g., because she has to deliver by Caesarean section). So when there is no clear teaching in the Scripture on a subject of moral and ethical behavior, it is necessary for us to be silent. We may not condemn something as sin in itself simply on the grounds that most people who do it are sinful in their motivations.
But this does not mean that a Christian husband and wife practicing birth control are free to assume they are doing right. It is true, as argued above, that this entire issue must be understood in the light of our motivation, and our submission to the scriptural view of family. It is also true that in the area of motivations, we are answerable to God and Him alone. The issue of birth control is not an area where the civil magistrate or the elders of the church have any business. If an ungodly attitude toward children and family is visible and apparent, then THAT should be addressed by the elders of the church. But they should deal with it in the same way they would deal with an analogous situation (e.g., someone who has an ungodly attitude toward alcohol -- a substance not sinful in itself but which can be abused).
Parents are stewards before God, and God entrusts the children to them. Some parents receive the resources which God gives and bring up many children to serve Him. They are greatly blessed. Other parents may limit the children they have but believe the children they have to be a great blessing, and they also bring them up to serve the Lord. These parents are also blessed by God. When Jesus told the parable of the talents, He did not refer to any quarrel between the man who had ten talents and the man who had five. The one who got into trouble (with his master, and not with his fellow-servants) was the one who feared to be entrusted with any responsibility. He buried what he had in the ground and was condemned by his master. And this is what many Christian couples have done and are doing. They don't want the responsibility of parenthood, but God has said that He made them one for the purpose of godly offspring (Mal 2:15).
So our modern debate about birth control has unfortunately gravitated to the methods used -- as if the lazy servant could have justified himself by pointing out that the action of burying money in the ground is not inherently sinful. This is true enough, but beside the point.
Nowhere in the Bible does it say that the use of birth control is sinful.
So it is wrong to say that it is.
The Bible does consistently say that children are a blessing from the Lord.
And it is a sin to act as if they were not.

The Emerging Delusion

2005-12-11T15:49:00.000-08:00

Urgh.
Thinking is so hard. There is such a temptation to just stop doing it. How easy, how relaxing it would be to just ride the waves of group-think that I am surrounded with daily. Put my feet up. Give a big group hug. Smile and wave, smile and wave!
But reality gnaws at my heartstrings. The repulsive smell of the devil's handiwork fills my nostrils and slaps me awake. The words in my Bible simply won't disappear either -- each time I look they are still there (and unfortunately, it feels, become more and more clear with each reading).
The most current stewing in my mind? The Emerging Church.
I just read a fabulous article by Bob DeWaay called The Emergent Delusion. Though the article is long and not the easiest to think through, I feel as though I have just run a few miles, done 50 crunchies, and enjoyed a nice tall glass of fresh cold water. Ahhhh. There now! Some good thoughts for the old brain to chew on!
DeWaay's article is mostly a review of Brian McLaren's book, The Generous Orthodoxy (This book is actually subtitled Why I Am a Missional, Evangelical, Post/Protestant, Liberal/Conservative, Mystical/Poetic, Biblical, Charismatic/Contemplative, Fundamentalist/Calvinist, Anabaptist/Anglican, Methodist, Catholic, Green, Incarnational, Depressed-yet-Hopeful, Emergent, Unfinished CHRISTIAN).
A reviewer from Amazon.com, under the title "Nobody Can Tell You You're Not Jewish," aptly describes what seems to be the main idea of McLaren's book:
"The idea here (which McLaren blithely appropriates) is that words, even concepts, can mean anything I want them to mean, and no one can tell me any differently. Or, you can challenge me if you want, but I don't care; that's just your position and anyone can think anything they want and why can't we all just be brothers?"
Its enough that this book denies that the Bible reveals to us many absolute truths about God, but the truly disturbing thing is that this way of thinking represents mainstream Christianity. This book is published by Youth Specialties, a popular group I have always loved and trusted. McLaren is welcomed to speak at mainstream Christian gatherings all around our country. You can even McLaren to "coach" your church into organizational success (somehow I am reminded of the 40 Days of Purpose craze).To the untrained eye, McLaren is just another brother, promoting love and unity amongst the brethren.
Be afraid! Be very afraid!
McLaren is suggesting we move further from the truth rather than back to it. We need to move BACK to the Word of God! Back to the truths and triumphs brought forth by the Reformation. Back to the idea of sola scriptura. We do not need to "emerge" into a group of touchy-feeling New Agers who think God is whatever we'd like Him to be, saying along with McLaren,
"If I seem to show too little respect for your opinions or thought, be assured I have equal doubts about my own, and I don't mind if you think I am wrong. I'm sure I am wrong about many things, although I'm not sure exactly which things I'm wrong about. I'm even sure I'm wrong about what I think I'm right about in at least some cases. So wherever you think I'm wrong, you could be right."
Read McLaren's book. Read DeWaay's article. Search the scriptures.
Just go find your thinking cap, dust it off, and tie it tightly to your head.
We cannot afford to be lazy thinkers. The Church is headed into a direction of danger, and we all need to be awake enough to notice.

Improving His Aim...?

2005-12-08T09:57:00.000-08:00

Just yesterday, I was reprimanded at a friend's home for using the "boy" bathroom instead of the guest bathroom. Everyone knows boys' bathrooms can be icky. For that matter, men's rooms can be worse. Have you ever seen a long line of women waiting for the potty, while the men's room remains vacant? Any of us who have tried the guys' side once before in desperation know from experience that the gals' side is worth the wait.
Well, this morning was no exception in our home. I had to go potty really badly and sat down on a WET seat. Now, our toilet is right next to the shower, which has been known to splash a little, so I didn't freak out at first. When I stood up, I could tell the toilet was not wet with shower water. I also noticed that it wasn't just the seat that was wet, but behind the seat and on both sides of the bottom of the toilet. How in the world could this have happened?
I began my wailing: Who did this? This is so disgusting! Who could miss like this?? It looks like someone pee'd ON the seat instead of IN it!!
My honest-most-of-the-time-lately son Micah ran into the bathroom with his eyes downcast. Quietly, he answered, "It was me, Mom. I'm sorry."
You? You did this? This is sooooooooooooo gross. I SAT in pee! I have pee on my bottom! Do you have any idea how disgusting that is?
Then I asked the question that most good parenting books tell you to skip:
WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?
I really didn't expect an answer, but I got one. Micah looked up at me with his big baby blues and in all sincerity explained, "Mom, there was a fly on the potty. I was trying to shoot it."
Suddenly the wicked vandalist transformed into an endearing little boy right before my very eyes. He and I started cracking up, hugged each other and had a good laugh, right there on the bathroom floor! Then I gave him the Windex and a ton of paper towels and told him to make the porcelain shine.
Micah knows that he shall never again try to shoot flies with bodily fluid. And I know that a wet bottom is not worth losing my temper over. Some day these boys will be grown up and gone, and I will remember (and miss) their antics with fondness.
Their future wives may have to deal with dirty toilets at times, but at least these husbands will know how to clean 'em up :)

What the Good Man Does is Always Right

2005-12-06T14:58:00.000-08:00

My son Christian read a story today from our book of Fairy Tales by Hans Christian Anderson. He called out, "Hey, Mom! I found your favorite story, What the Good Man Does is Always Right, remember it? Can I read it out loud for all of us?"
What a blessing to hear him refer to it as my favorite story. When I first read it to him a few years back, I remember fighting with my flesh all the way through it. The main male character is an idiot. What woman wouldn't scold him for his impropriety? Yet, not only does Mrs. Fairy Tale not scold her husband-dear, she finds something positive to say with each unveiling of bad news.
The end of this story [spoiler warning] brings Mr. and Mrs. Fairy Tale a bag of riches, due to the Missus' good attitude. A good reminder that I, too, can bring about good things for our family by simply following the guidelines God has given me in my How To Be a Good Wife Manual.
So, honey, if you ever sell our horse for some rotten apples, I'll give you a big kiss and say, "What the good man does is always right!"

Proverbs 31:11 and 12

The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.

She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.

No Children After 35

2005-12-04T16:00:00.000-08:00

Women should not have children after 35;

thirty-five children are enough.

- Anonymous

A Reversal of Heart

2005-12-04T14:58:00.000-08:00

Last month's issue of TEACH Magazine arrived on the perfect day -- I was second-guessing my husband's upcoming vasectomy-reversal.

The issue's main article was entitled, "I Wish We'd Had More!" The author, a mother of about 6, if I remember correctly, mentioned that the Number One thing she heard from folks when she was out and about with her children (after "Are they all YOURS?") was, "Oh, I wish we'd had more." -- spoken with a wistful sigh.

The fact of the matter is, I don't think any of us will look back and think we had one too many children, will we? But I wonder how many of us will wistfully look back and say, "I wish we'd had more."

I had been thinking it was too late for us. Hubby had a vasectomy three years ago, with our age-old plan of adopting in the near-future. When my hubby said he didn't think he could go through with adoption at this time (I do still hope God allows this for us someday), I thought we were "done." Funny how when you are sure something is impossible, you have the freedom to re-think your paradigm. Suddenly Hubby and I were looking into the lives of other families who "trusted the Lord for their birth control," and what we saw made sense. We were actually missing the fact that baby-making was no longer a mysterious part -- even if its something we were trying often to avoid -- of love-making. We wondered why we thought it was okay to permanently dismantle the fertility we had been given -- how had we missed the beauty of this gift and given it away in a few snips (and just so we could enjoy the marriage bed with no strings attached -- no new blessings for us, please). The benefits of large families suddenly began to appeal to us. It was too late for us to put these ideas into practice -- too bad we'd already had that vasectomy done!

No serious thought was given to a vasectomy-reversal (do you know how much they cost??), until I stumbled onto the site of a surgeon in Texas who does 'em as a MINISTRY, at a much cheaper rate than most. We prayed and sought the Lord, and after an Christian Entrepreneurial Conference, Hubby came home saying, "Let's do it!" His big worry had been spending the money, and God reminded him at this conference that money is just not a big deal, nothing to hold on to so tightly! (Sound like a good conference? You should come with us next year!)

The very day that I was to call for the reversal appointment, hubby's work offered to send him on a business trip to Texas -- meaning a free flight to the very Texas airport WHERE the reversal was to take place during the very week WHEN the reversal was to take place!

Fast-forward to a week before the reversal, where I was freaking out again. And not just for the worry of hubby's surgery and the worry of spending the money, but for my own selfish reasons. If we had another child "the natural way," there would be "too much space" between our now youngest and the next. I'd struggle even more with weight gain/weight loss. I might feel sick and tired. I wouldn't be able to drink diet soda. I'd have to go through the whole "no sleep" thing again, not to mention grinding up baby food, changing diapers, and potty training. I'd have to do that whole labor and delivery thing again -- eek!! My parents and friends would think we were crazy.

The article in TEACH magazine reminded me that the chance to participate in the creation of another human being is worth all of that, and then some. It laid out the many blessings one could receive by having another child, and I felt encouraged!

If its up for debate for you, check out all the scripture verses on children being blessings (Are there any other blessings we ask God to hold back on?), consider the impact we could have on our culture with a little exponential discipleship (some time I'll write a post workin' the numbers for ya), and have a look at these articles:

10 compelling reasons to have another child

Why Do You Have So Many Children?

For us, we don't know what the future holds. Statistics show only a 50% chance of pregnancy after vasectomy reversal. For the first time in our marriage, we are content to breathe-easy and wait and see what happens. May the Lord's will be done!

The Ten Million Commandments of California

2005-11-30T18:51:00.000-08:00

California.

Land of the fruits and nuts.

Land of lots of legislation.

My hubby just let me know a new law has already gone into effect, requiring us to turn on our headlights whenever adverse weather conditions require that our windshield wipers are on! Now, this is a great, commonsense idea -- but need it be a LAW? (Did you know the idea for the law came from a "There Oughta Be a Law" contest?)

When we refuse to be self-governed (i.e. when we refuse to obey God), the government must step in. (The kids are just now thinking through these ideas while reading history story books of early America -- thanks to Truthquest History).

Jesus said that the entire Jewish Law could be summed up in 2 commandments: love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, and soul, and love your neighbor as yourself. Imagine a world where people actually did just that...how many other laws on the books would we need?!

Instead, especially here in California, we desire the "freedom" to become slaves to our sin, to do what feels good, looking out for number one at all costs. And so we have become the land of the 10 million commandments.

"If man will not be governed by the 10 commandments, he will be governed by the 10,000 commandments." -- G.K. Chesterton

Martin Luther on Husbandry

2005-11-25T20:05:00.000-08:00

Great quote from an ancient blogger himself, Martin Luther:
"Our natural reason looks at marriage and turns up its nose and says, 'Alas! Must I rock the baby? Wash its diapers? Make its bed? Smell its stench? Stay at nights with it? Take care of it when it cries? Heal its rashes and sores?
And on top of that care for my spouse, provide labor at my trade, take care of this and take care of that? Do this and do that? And endure this and endure that? Why should I make such a prisoner of myself?'
What then does Christian faith say to this? It opens its eyes, looks upon all these insignificant, distasteful and despised duties in the spirit, and is aware that they are all adorned with divine approval as with the costliest gold and jewels.
It says, 'O God, I confess I am not worthy to rock that little babe or wash its diapers, or to be entrusted with the care of a child and its mother. How is it that I without any merit have come to this distinction of being certain that I am serving thy creature and thy most precious will? Oh, how gladly will I do so. Though the duty should be even more insignificant and despised, neither frost nor heat, neither drudgery nor labor will distress me for I am certain that it is thus pleasing in thy sight.' "
(This quote provided by Julie from the History Questers Yahoo Group)

7 Habits of Highly Effective Women

2005-11-15T21:27:00.000-08:00

Titus 2:3-5 tells me 7 things I can do -- should do -- so that the Word of God will not be blasphemed (profaned, made to look bad or untrue).
Where have I had my head stuck for the past 30 years that these are new concepts to me? And with the reputation of THE WORD OF GOD at stake! Yikes!
Surely I have read these verses before, only now the Lord has pulled the scales off of my eyes and I can see what an intense and interesting job description is laid out for me. The very controversial and fascinating book Created To Be His Help-Meet by Debi Pearl has provided some practical tips on acheiving these 7 habits:

1. Love My Husband (To live every day -- and every night! -- ready to minister to my husband's needs)
2. Love My Children (To consider the needs of my children before my own interests, to invest time in training them to know and do many things, to school myself in diet and medicine that I may be better equipped to keep them safe)
3. Be Sensible/Discreet (To grow in grace and knowledge, to be gracious and honest, to be wise in the building up of my house and my husband, to select the best means to accomplish a purpose)
4. Be Pure/Chaste (To dress modestly, making sure not to draw eyes of anyone that is not my husband to my body -- I wish I'd understood this one better when I was younger!)
5. Be a Keeper at Home (To make my home my main ministry -- a place where I spend a lot of my time, to take my responsibilities seriously, to know that whatever I sow I will reap -- actions have consequences, to make valuable use of my time at home, to create a clean and pleasant haven, to minister to others through hospitality)
6. Be Kind/Good (to be genuine, joyful, virtuous, valuable, competent, agreeable, pleasant, faithful, gracious, hardworking, merciful, honorable, wise, to help!, to serve others, to serve my husband first, children second, others next, and myself last)
7. Be Obedient to My Husband (Here it is in black and white -- Greek and English! Obey my husband! Not just submit in the case of coming to an impasse, but to be yielding, willing and eager to accomplish my husband's wishes. Well, my husband just said he wished I was in the other room watching T.V. with him, so I'm outta here!)

He's Home, and Un-Broken

2005-11-13T15:21:00.000-08:00

While my dear husband was gone to Texas for his vasectomy reversal, I complained to him about how everything broke as soon as he left our home!

We had a toilet overflow, a vacuum cleaner fizzle out, my Kitchen Aid mixer burnt out, and our closet door busted.

He commented,

"Well, at least I'll be coming home un-broken!"

He's home, and though he looks and feels pretty broken, it is comforting to know that he is now truly "FIXED!"

Top Ten List for Tamara

2005-11-12T21:41:00.000-08:00

I wrote this letter a year ago to a friend who had become discouraged with her decision to homeschool. Having found herself unexpectedly pregnant with her third child, she became overwhelmed with the thought of teaching her 5-year-old son at home. Wanting the best for her child, she enrolled him in an exceptional school (with a really long waiting list). She asked the Lord to show her the right educational choice for this year by whether or not her son made it to the top of the waiting list in time. When the school year began, and her son was not yet admitted into the school, she became disheartened. Names and other details have been changed to protect the innocent.
Dear Tamara, I have been thinking of you this week in your struggles with Joseph not yet getting accepted into the alternative school as you had hoped. I thought I would quickly type up a TOP TEN list for you: the TOP TEN reasons why it will be the "best" choice to homeschool for the Fall of 2004, along with boat-loads of interesting online articles to read. I am not trying to help you make a choice here; it looks like home schooling has been chosen for you (due to circumstances). I would, however, like to give you some reasons to be encouraged that this is a good choice!

TOP TEN REASONS TO BE HAPPY TO HOMESCHOOL IN FALL 2004

Reason Number 10: You have a a BOY!! I had never considered homeschooling until I began reading about boys and education (one of those places was Dobson's Bringing Up Boys). Even though your little boy is VERY well-mannered and able to sit still, he is still a BOY. Schools really are set up for girls, and they very much reward boys for feminine traits and punish for energetic behavior. I am on a mission to grow up godly masculine men, especially after reading Wild At Heart and Raising a Modern Day Knight! It seems that homeschooling will make this task easier and ever more enjoyable... Here are a few websites I found on boys and homeschooling:
Where are the Boys?Homeschooling Boys Fox News Story
Reason Number 9: You can delay Joseph's movement from family-orientation to peer-orientation for at least one year, something that will bless you greatly, and make for a more mature Joseph, better equipped to later handle peer-pressure, no doubt! Here is a great article by the Bluedorns, popular supporters of Classical Education:
Homeschools Increase, Classrooms Decrease
Reason Number 8: Kindergarten is awful early to send a little one away from the homefront. I have read a lot of research that seems to reveal that even brilliant children (as we know yours are) do better the longer they delay getting into institutional school. Here is a website of Dr. Raymond Moore (who also wrote HomeGrown Kids and Better Late than Early) and another article on downfalls of early schooling v. staying home a bit longer.
Reason Number 7: Living life in your wonderful loving home will be so much more fun and exciting than sitting in a classroom all day! Here is a great article on boredom in public schools. Side Note: In this article, Gatto also speaks of the origins of our schooling system: the country of Prussia. I can't help thinking of Nazi Germany, and how the masses were taught to follow leaders and not think for themselves...I found a quote by Dietrich Bonhoeffer (I can‘t find it right now) where he put the blame for Hitler’s acceptance by the community-at-large on Germany’s educational system. Germany and Prussia‘s educational ideals were the same, and we in the U.S. based our system originally on their examples! True, the ideals our society tries to give children are much better than Hitler’s, but I don’t want my children just to accept and obey convention, I want my children to learn how to THINK for themselves!! This whole idea was a new one to me, you can get a collection of Gatto’s essays called A Different Kind of Teacher from the library. He was NY State and City Teacher of the year several times...
Reason Number 6: You can give Joseph another year of “true” socialization instead of just peer socialization. I have recently realized how much better socialized most homeschooling kids are. They look adults in the eyes, carry on mature conversations, don’t seem scared of or put-off by grown-ups. Honestly, the maturity and poise of these students has pushed me into further considering home education. It makes sense to socialize your children with all kinds of people, all different races, all different ages (from babies to the elderly) -- to really teach them how to get along with others. Being in an institution with 20 (or more!) other age-mates for the greater part of the day simply cannot prepare one socially for real life. Click here for an interesting article on this subject.
Reason Number 5: Most schools send home about an hour of homework a night, and this alternative school would probably send home more. Knowing that you already are going to have to do 1 hour of work a day with Joseph, why not let it be the work you know he needs, and save him from doing work that doesn't meet his needs (and save him from wasting time). I love the fact that I spend the same amount of time working w/ CJ each night as my friends whose kids are in school during the day, and I get lots of extra time for real life with him too. Not to mention I can be confident that I understand what I am teaching him -- I don’t have to figure out a middle man’s teaching techniques. And instead of following a stranger's lead for my little boy, I am blessed to be able to listen both to the Lord's direction and my husband's vision for CJ's education. Boy, does this really help me feel confident in parenting in general!
Reason Number 4: Joseph will have the BEST teacher in the whole world, the woman that not only knows him better than anyone else, but loves him more than any other teacher possibly could. Not to mention that you are BRILLIANT and MORE THAN CAPABLE, the love in your heart alone would work wonders. You have been custom-made by God to teach Joseph -- look what a great job you’ve done so far! Because you know him so well, Joseph won't be held back or pushed ahead -- you can individualize his education. He is a unique person who will not fit into a category -- he isn't average. He may be reading at a 5th grade level next year (and would be bored in class) and doing pre-school math (and could end up being intimidated math-wise at school). You can direct his education in just the way that fits him!
Reason Number 3: Joseph will have 3 extra hours a day, 15 extra hours a week, to spend in YOUR presence.
Reason Number 2: Joseph will have 3 extra hours a day, 15 extra more a week, to spend with Sister Sarah and Baby #3. Imagine the closeness this will foster...and how much harder that would be to do if they were apart several hours a day. I get teary-eyed sometimes when I see my boys acting “close!” The love they have for each other touches the deepest part of me.
And the Number 1 Reason to Homeschool Next Fall: God strategically placed you right here, right now, for His purpose. A *gentle* reminder -- you really did ask the Lord for a fleece; you told Him you would see homeschooling as the best option (for now) if the school did not become available to you. I think that in and of itself is a nice confirmation that the Lord is paying attention to you and wanting to direct your steps. Even though it wasn’t the answer you were expecting, it is so exciting to know that He answered! If and when the school finds a spot for Joseph, you will be ready at that time! He will work everything out for you. I just know homeschooling will be so much easier than you think. Five in A Row is a gentle curriculum that takes little prep time. I have also heard wonders about My Father's World -- I think you would LOVE THIS! It is an entire curriculum, sort of a unit study. I have heard it is not overwhelming. Kinda pricey ($100 for 1 year) but it covers a lot. I think the first year includes a Geographical Trip around the World -- I know God has put International ideas in your heart...check it out, maybe its for you...? I hope you will be at peace at whatever comes your way this fall! If the Lord does end up opening the door for Joseph at that school, be assured I will fully support you in that endeavor!!
Best wishes, Tamara!
Love, Debbie

If It Ain't Broke, Don't Fix it!

2005-11-12T00:54:00.000-08:00

The Dangers of Vasectomy
Of course, like any statistics, the "facts" about the aftermath of vasectomy vary greatly from scientist to scientist. I just wish our doctor had at least run these contrary ideas past us before the vasectomy...like the possiblity of a greater risk of prostate cancer, yikes!
Now, looking back, it was strange how eager the insurance company was to provide for us the vasectomy -- no co-pay even! All Hubby had to do was watch a little video and sign a release form...I haven't quite figured this out. Perhaps they know they will save money not having to take care of future progeny??
Anyway, some ideas to consider before you go snippin' away:
Dangers of a Vasectomy
Don't Fix It!
Vasectomies Gone Bad

The Way Home

2005-10-12T15:26:00.000-07:00

Mary Pride is rockin' my world.
I recently read All the Way Home by Mary Pride and was motivated to find her 1st book, The Way Home....wow! wow! wow!
Here's a little quip from the chapter called "Beyond the 'Me' Marriage," in regard to the Church being infected by divorce:

Some say that this sorry state is a sure sign of the end times. But end times or no end times, the church is always supposed to be the light of the world. God expects us to shine brightly, not flicker fitfully! The church is also supposed to be the salt of the world, which even in small amounts flavors the mass and protects it from decay. We can and should be influencing the world to get better; it shouldn't be influencing us to get worse.
If the Christian family is falling into disrepair, it is not because our God is not powerful enough to maintain us in the midst of a corrupt society. New Testament Christians faced a society that in some ways was even more decadent than ours, with cult prostitutes, infanticide, and gladiators battling to the death for the crowd's "entertainment." Yet history witnesses that the early Christians had outstandingly stable and holy home lives. If we can't say the same, perhaps is because we have walked away from what the New Testament Christians had. Perhaps in our zeal to be relevant we have replaced Christian culture with twentieth-century humanist culture.

Courtship Questions for Christian

2005-07-08T19:57:00.000-07:00

I have been cleaning out my old "journals" (if you can call random bits of paper stuck into books, folders, and notebooks, "journals!") and came across this gem!
Last Christmas, Kathy (visiting from East Africa) and I found an Application to Court My Daughter on the internet. As we were laughing out loud at the notion, my then-6-year-old son began to answer the questions out loud, causing fits of laughter!
And after thinking on it, I realized that we do want to raise our boys to be of the caliber that can stand up to a gal's daddy asking such questions of him! I think I'll ask some of these questions once every year or so and keep note of how the boys (hopefully!) mature.
We only asked him a portion the age-appropriate questions...his answers are in italics below.

APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO COURT

Would you say you love God? Why?
Yes! Because, actually, He made me!

If you love God, how would you say your love manifests itself?
If someone heard me singing a God-Song, they would know I love Him.

If you were by yourself and were being assaulted for your faith in Christ, how would you respond?
I wouldn't hurt him. I would say, "God, can you hit him in the head and stop him from hurting me?"

If you were asked by someone how they could be saved, what would you tell them?
If they fell off a mountain and stopped in the middle of the air, they would be "saved." You can be saved from hell by No. 1: By asking God in your heart, and No. 2: By going to church. Oh, wait, you really don't have to go to church.

If you died and faced Christ, and he asked you why he should let you into heaven, what would you say?
God should let me into heaven because I asked Jesus in my heart -- and because I'm dead.

Next to the Bible, what are your favorite books?
The Bible is my favorite God-Book. Geronimo Stilton is my favorite other book!

Who are your favorite teachers and why?
My mom! She is my favorite because she homeschools me.

What role does psychology have in relationship with the Bible?
What's that?

Do you want to have children? How many are you hoping for?
I really wish for a big number of kids, but that's not going to happen. I'd like 12.

If you enjoyed a certain kind of music, and discovered that it was a stumbling block to your wife, what would you do?
I would make her leave the room so I could listen to it.

What types of entertainment do you watch? ie: TV, movies, videos, etc.
I like to play Super Monkey Ball II, Star Wars, Mario Party 5.

How do you determine what entertainment is acceptable for you as a Christian and what is not?
I know if God wants me to watch it...like if its a bad song, I'll quit it. Or if it has bad words, it's bad.

How do you express anger, and what sets you off?
When Micah messed up our game, I was mad. I didn't throw a fit. I said, "I'm mad."

What would you do if your wife became upset and began beating on your chest?
I would... (thoughtful pause) push her back and kick her off of me.

How does your pride manifest itself?
When Micah buys my favorite toy that I really want to keep, my pride shows. If he says, "No, you can't play with it," I say, "I'm gonna take it from you."

Where would you like to live? ie: city, state, topical region, etc.
I want to live in Singapore because they have lots of math books.

What dream for yourself would you like to be fulfilled 20 years from now?
By age 26? Get married? That's not a dream, it's a nightmare. Ha! Ha! Ha! When I'm 26 I would like to own a store named, Wal Toys.

What is your most outrageous dream for the future?
I would like to sky-glide!

Song of Micah

2005-07-01T17:08:00.000-07:00

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Micah.
Our strong-willed child.
Our Independent Thinker.
While our first-born was so eager to learn about Jesus, memorize scripture, and beg Jesus to come into his heart so he "wouldn't be a bad guy anymore," our second-born has been a little less enthusiastic. In fact, at age 3, he looked me square-in-the-eye and declared, “I don’t like God and I don’t need Jesus.” He began to refuse to pray during family prayer times. He often disconnected from us in spiritual matters.
Over the past few years I struggled through theological questions regarding Calvinism v. Arminianism and Everything-In-Between. How much of our salvation is based upon our choosing God v. God choosing us? In other words, as a mommy, where did my striving need to be focused: in convincing Micah to choose the Lord, or in begging the Lord to choose my son? Well, of course, we haven’t backed off of the overall goal of Romancing Our Child’s Heart for the Lord but we have commenced a serious campaign of begging the King to save our little boy’s soul!
More than once the prayer heavy on my heart at my women’s prayer group or homeschooling support group has been for Micah’s heart. Some folks have told me not to worry, after all, he is so young! These folks have not seen the resolve in my son’s eyes :). Other sweet friends and grandparents have sensed that there may be something to our intuition and joined my husband and I in praying for God to keep Micah for himself. My childhood best friend (now a missionary in East Africa) vowed to pray often for little Micah (she sees in him a intricate, complex soul much like her own).
Wow, does God answer prayers! I know full well that Micah's walk with the Lord will face many years of ups and downs -- from dark stormy days to days of flourishing Spring, but I cannot help proclaiming what the Lord has done ALREADY in my young man’s heart! I am so stirred that He hears the prayers of my heart – who am I that He should touch me with His Grace?
Over the past year, Micah has shown a new-found interest in Things of God. It started with an Easter movie about the death and resurrection of Christ – his little heart was broken in two that Jesus had to die on the cross! He cried for an hour, leaving two belwildered parents wondering how to lead him to the Throne of Grace! He now swings on his swing and revels in songs of praise to the Lord with the wind brushing against his face as he connects with the Almighty! Several times we have overheard him composing songs of his own to celebrate his Lord, and even during our bedtime prayer will often ask if he can sing his prayer. It seems that nature and things of beauty and grandeur speak right to his heart of the Glory of God.
A few weekends ago our family went camping with several other Believers and had the opportunity to have “church” in the mountains together on Sunday morning. I was struck to the heart to see my little boy with his eyes closed and hands lifted up to the sky, singing to the Lord Most High with love all over his face! The Cherry-on-the-Sundae of this Blessing from Above was the song Micah spontaneously broke into on the drive home from the camping trip:

God is The Powerful One

God is the Powerful One
Most powerful in the world
He’s so nice to me
He takes care of me
He loves me a lot
Oh, He loves me a lot!

He’s so nice
He’s so very nice
I like Him
I like Him because He is most powerful in the world…
And so nice to me!

I will die, but I will stay Alive
I really want to see Him

God is the Powerful One
God is the Strongest One
Who is so nice to me.
God is the one who is so strong
God is so very strong
Even if I die, I will still stay alive
He is my Powerful One

He saved me lots of times
He loves me – even though he knows me,
He likes me a lot!

I furiously jotted down the words as fast as I could, and I know I left out a phrase or two (in fact, he told me the other day I must have left out the words “He is stronger than a worm and a monkey,” but I just can't see where that should be inserted into the song). We are eager to see what the Lord continues to do in Micah’s heart. We will do what we can and what the Lord leads to ensure that Micah is discipled into a Man after God’s Own Heart, equipped to become a strong, godly, masculine leader. We are now convinced that we also need to be coming before the Lord on behalf of all of our sons. Would you join us and say a prayer for their souls?

Sharing Mr. Kimweli's Final Flight

2005-05-01T21:56:00.000-07:00

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Letters written December 2004:
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Hey Dad!
Do you remember me telling you about a Kenyan man I met on the plane to see Kathy? He reminded me so much of you, he was a professor at a Kentucky university, very political, one of 4 boys, etc. etc. He told me right away the neat story about his elderly father (he was traveling to Kenya for his pop’s funeral). His whole family had accepted Christ years ago, when the Holy Spirit swept through their little village, except for his dad. The brothers prayed and prayed for their dad, to no avail. The dad had 2 major car accidents and one deadly illness – and was pretty much healed from each of these in some neat way, yet still did not turn to Christ. Suddenly, one day, at age 82, for no apparent reason, he gave his heart to the Lord, did a 180 degree change and lived an amazing life for the Lord – for about a year and a half when he then died. I told this Kenyan man, Dr. David Kimweli, that he must have been put on the plane to encourage me to hope for Grandpa Papa again. It went on to be an amazing plane ride, where we prayed and cried together, and had deep deep talks about the Lord – with a real sense of God surrounding us. I really felt like he was my Kenyan “father.” Well, I woke up the other night burdened to pray for his family, did some research on the internet, and lo and behold it turns out he died in a tragic accident that very week I was visiting Kathy. He was probably in the accident the day after I saw him, as the article I read said it happened “returning from his father’s funeral.” He didn’t even get to say good-bye to his wife and kids. So, I decided maybe I was supposed to write to them to tell them how wonderful he was, and how much he said he loved them. I am thinking maybe they are having a super hard time right now, with the holidays?? Anyway, since I reference you in the letter to the Kimwelis, I thought I’d send you a copy too! I hand-wrote the letter and then just typed it here – unfortunately as it is hand-written on beautiful Italian paper that I have no more of I can’t go back and fix the grammar!!!!
Love ya lots!
Debbie
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Dear Kimweli Family,
I woke up the other night with a strong sense that I was lift up the Kimweli family in prayer. It seemed odd to me, to wake up so burdened for a man I had met on a plane to East Africa months before! The next morning I decided to type in David Kimweli’s name on the internet and was shocked to the bone to discover that he went to be with the Lord only days after I had met him. I am feeling so saddened for you, Joyce, Faith and David. I only knew your husband and father for 7 hours – on a filght from Amsterdam to Dar es Salaam, Tanzania, and yet I wanted to let you know how much he touched my heart in Jesus in that brief time, and how he told me such wonderful things about you all – his beloved family!
I had prayed before my travels that God would orchestrate the people I would sit by on each flight. I am so frightened to fly, and friend encouraged me that God would keep me too busy working for “eternal things” on the flights to be frightened of crashing.
Imagine my surprise when your husband and father began to tell me about Jesus and the work God had done in his father’s heart – before the plane had even taken off! I think we were both a little disappointed, at first, that our co-passenger was not someone who “needed” to learn about Jesus but was already saved :) It ended up being a wonderful flight: we shared testimonies of God’s work in our lives, cried right there on the plane over the goodness of our Lord, and described our wonderful families that the Lord had blessed us with.
The first thing Mr. Kimweli told me was the incredible story of the conversion of his father. You see, the story sounded awfully familiar and gave me hope in what I thought was a hopeless situation. My own father is also one of four sons who all accepted Christ (along with his mother) around the same time. My grandpa, like Mr. Kimweli’s dad, is the stubborn one, holding his heart back from God. My grandpa has even been healed, like Mr. Kimweli’s dad, as the result of God answering the prayers of his sons. Regardless of God’s intervention, my grandpa, now 80, still will not accept Christ. Hearing Mr. Kimweli’s testimony of his dad’s sudden and real conversion, at a ripe old age, filled my eyes with tears and my heart with hope. I told your husband and dad I just KNEW God directed him to sit by me to encourage me (and my father) to hope and pray that God will also win my grandpa’s heart for himself.
Mr. Kimweli, your dear husband and daddy, went on to tell me such wonderful stories about all of you! About your wonderfully romantic story of courtship, Joyce, how you knew each other since childhood and how, like Jacob and Rachel, your husband worked and waited patiently for your hand in marriage. David and Faith, your dad spoke with pride about you both, and mentioned how he feared “letting go,” and wanting so badly for the two of you to follow after Christ with your everything.
Faith, your dad reminded me so much of my own dad. It was so great to talk to him in ways I haven’t talked to my own dad, and it helped me understand my dad better. I really got the sense that your dad wanted to be closer to you, and was unsure how to do that. His love for you was so apparent in his words and face.
I wanted to write you all to tell you my experience with your husband and dad. Near the end of his life, he was trusting the Lord and shining His light. He told me that he was “always ready” to go and be with God, and joked that while up in an airplane he was even more ready! Everything went awry with his flights – he ended up in Dar instead of Nairobi when I last saw him – yet he was still saying, “God must have a reason for this. I will trust Him.” Your dad and husband encouraged me greatly in so many things. He reminded me of God’s sovereignty and helped me not fear death on the plane. He encouraged me that my trip to visit my missionary friend in Dar es Salaam would be used by God. He encouraged me by lifting up my husband, who stayed with our boys and allowed me to go on the trip. He encouraged me in my ministry to my husband and boys – that it is a real ministry not to be taken lightly. And your dad and husband blessed me by how real was the presence of the Holy Spirit in him.
Your husband and dad made an impact on me in just a few hours that will last a lifetime. I am so sorry to hear that he is gone. I imagine, by the short time I knew him, that he impacted many lives – more than most could do in several lifetimes. I saw that he most hoped that he would impact the lives of his son and daughter! I can’t wait to be in heaven someday – with the entire Kimweli family, Praise the Lord! :)
Please know that my heart aches for you, and that I will be lifting you up in prayer.
I pray God’s peace upon you in such a time of sorrow.
Thank you for sharing Mr. Kimweli with me. I know he will be greatly missed by you.

Your sister in Christ,
Debbie

Getting Personal

2005-04-12T20:21:00.000-07:00

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I wonder, if you came across the following ad in your local newspaper, how would you respond?

Younger Woman Seeks Older Woman -- for friendship,
discipleship, and real-life mentoring.
This Older woman must be willing to teach a younger woman,
through friendship and example: how to love her husband
and children, how to be sensible, pure, kind, focused on her
home-ministry, and submissive to her own husband.
Qualified candidate will demonstrate an overall reverence
in her day-to-day living, being not inclined toward gossip or
over-indulgence.
The particulars of her own husband-loving, child-raising, and
personal character development are not nearly as important
as her heart of dedication to the Lord and her family.
Please apply soon with any eager-to-learn Younger Woman, found in abundance at local churches and neighborhoods.

Believe it or not, this personal ad can be found in any Holy Bible, Titus 2:3-5!
Young women are desperate for spiritual mothers and older sisters. We are desperate to hear the counter-culture message that our ministry occurs best in and through our homes, and that loving our husbands and children is a high calling. Older women, come out of hiding, out of busyness, out of over-working, out of too much churchwork -- and hear our cries! Your friendship and leadership is much coveted.

To VBS or not to VBS: This is my Anguish!

2005-04-12T20:12:00.000-07:00

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Hi Lord!

I have so many things weighing heavily on my mind. Sometimes I wonder why you gave me such a strong mind, one that thinks and thinks and thinks. My strong conscience does not help – once something appears wrong to me – or even if something else simply appears “better,” I cannot put away the thoughts that drew me to the conclusion but am instead forced to act upon them! Oh, but I do thank you for these gifts. They do make life harder, but much more interesting.

Right now it is VBS soaring through the brainwaves. You know that I have struggled with VBS thoughts since last year. I was really pressed – by Your Spirit, I believe – to see how so many of us church women were acting like Marthas last year. It was almost impossible not to be a Martha, and yet my soul felt broken in two for it. My heart yearns to be a Mary! And I yearn to bring a throng of Marys with me, rejoicing at your feet and waiting for the next words from your mouth!

I just feel so obligated to help out with VBS. Why? Because it is a major church event. Because Everymom who is Anymom helps out – of course! Yet You started stirring within me feelings that VBS may not be for us, at least for now. Do you know how hard this is on me? To be different? To look like I am not Your servant? To look selfish and unhelpful? Lord, I will look like a flake. A Flake!!

Yet, if I do not listen to your still small voice, and the principles you keep knocking me over the head with, then I will really be a flake – even if to the rest of the church I do not look like one.

I have always thought of VBS as an outreach to the neighborhood, unchurched kids, and indeed, Lord, I praise you forevermore for any of the souls that You have reached through VBS. And, Lord, how I do love to share your Good News, especially with little people who have never heard of Your Grace! The fact remains that the majority of the children in VBS are churched kids, who should already be well-versed in the Gospel. Aren’t there more effective alternatives to reach the few unchurched kids that do go to VBS? Perhaps having them over for dinner, meeting physical and emotional needs of their families, or letting our well-versed young ones directly share their faith? And these options sound so hassle and hectic-atmosphere free! I feel that we in the Body of Christ tend to see getting the unsaved through the doors of the church building as the best way to evangelize. Lord, you are showing me that this is not the case, but that instead you want to use our very lives to reach others. I am so moved by the way Jesus “did” evangelism. Lord, that you would remind us in Your Body that we are not professionals, that we do not need to copy the ways of the world, but that we can imitate Jesus Christ and win souls exceedingly well – with a lot less overhead!

And the amount of work that it takes to put on VBS at a big church! VBS is an impressive, well-oiled machine -- with hours and hours of blood, sweat and prep work poured into it. Mostly by mommas who give up hours of time with their families to get ready for the VBS week, and possibly give up hours of time they should be using to disciple younger women or reach out to neighbors who need your love. The moms look tired and spent and overwhelmed to me. I want to yell to them, “Come to Him you who are weary and heavy-laden, and He will give you rest! His yoke is easy, and His burden is light!” Is Marthadom inescapable, or is there a better way?

Lord, I spend so much of the year orchestrating our lives so that the boys will grow in closeness to each other, learning to serve the very people who annoy them the most (good preparation for marriage, I say!), and VBS is another thing that separates them from each other, and from Ron and me. The exciting experience of VBS becomes a self-centered memory, instead of a family calling. And this would not be such a big deal -- it is, after all, only one week a year -- except that at every turn in our society we are faced with the dissolution of family! Lord, why is your Body insisting on joining in with this pulling apart? Shouldn’t we be the ones who help restore relationships within families, especially at a time when relationships are so strained? While pondering VBS these past few months, I have thought often of the things that drew us away from segregated Sunday School for the time-being: the creation of a generation gap that should not exist, the entertainment-style of kids’ programming, the fostering of self-centered views of church life (what’s in it for me?), the teacher-led passive-style learning, the preeminence of women leaders and the absence of males.

I do thank you that there are so many men at my church who take the time off of work to volunteer this week, but Lord, there simply aren’t enough. It bothers me so that our kids grow up seeing church, especially ministry to children, as woman’s work. Thank you, Lord, for women that want to serve you. But, Lord, it is the fathers that you have called to spiritually nurture their children. It is the fathers who will make the biggest difference for generations to come. The Hebrew model you have provided in scripture shows us relational discipleship where Daddy was the chief delivery system for Truth. VBS does not help us parents bring into the lives of our children godly men whom they can be inspired by and emulate – even the wonderful men who are involved are pretty busy with programming aspects and cannot build relationships with children.

You’ve really changed my mind about the way children learn. I do believe now that people in general learn much better through relationships than through programs or classroom situations. My kids have always had a blast at VBS, but at least at their young ages VBS has not pushed them to grow in their walks with You. Lord, I feel overwhelmingly called to bring others, including my children, into maturity in You. It seems strange to busy myself with something that doesn’t jive with the mission you have written in my heart.

Oh, and I do feel so badly for the children who have just had to endure 180 days of regular school. Lord, to be led from activity to activity with no time to sit under the stars, or in the wildflowers, or at the river – wondering in the beauty of your nature! To live a rushed life, to not have the time to be a child and sit on mom’s lap to read, to leisurely paint a picture, to imagine with siblings. It seems so silly to subject these kids to another week of crafts and singings and stories and activities – in the name of Christ. Lord, how I long to bring children who have never heard of you into your presence by way of nature! The heavens declare your glory, much better than Oriental Trading Company!

I know you are callings us to lives with Margin, and I feel as though VBS is the antithesis to Margin. How can we have margin in our lives while being completely overloaded, even though what we are doing is “good?” If a neighbor stops by, needing a shoulder to cry on, is it righteous of me to say I am indeed too busy with my ministry? Lord, I want to be available for Divine Appointments. Help me to commit ONLY to the things which you have pre-ordained for my good and Your glory, that I may walk confidently seeking Your leading and seeing Your hand.

You want more than than sacrifice from me, don’t you? You want obedience. To obey is better than sacrifice! In some ways I am annoyed with this (as if I have the right!). It is a sacrifice to work at VBS: a sacrifice I will receive honor from and can share in with my gal comrades; a sacrifice that would actually show up on a church Report Card. Yet, Lord, you are calling me to obey, not simply sacrifice. I realize that in obeying you, truly living for you, I will sacrifice much, much more than what VBS would take. You want me to be ready for ministry 24/7, ready to sacrifice at the drop of a hat. Yet, Lord this burden is light because you will provide exactly what I need each step of the way, and the Joy that you will pour upon me for obeying you will flood my soul, and I will bring Glory to your name.

I ask you to help me do this humbly, without a hint of self-righteousness – ouch! I ask you to give me wisdom in talking to others about this decision, that I would only say what You want when You want it said. That my words would be used only for edification, not for tearing down. If you are really calling me to be different in this way, one thing I ask is that you let me sow seeds of love and unity and not seeds of discord in the so-doing. Please, Lord, guide me each step of the way. This is a big thing for me, for I am a silly girl. Thank you for loving me, thank you for leading me, thank you for putting up with me. I want to live for you. No matter what that means.

Your Daughter,

Deborah